The Tales of Windia

[Telula]

THE TALES OF WINDIA: CHAPTER 1
AWW, WHAT DID I GET MYSELF INTO?! ​

Hello, fellow island adventurers! The name's Rachel, and you're probably wondering just how I got myself into this mess in the first place. You see, it all began many, many, many months ago...

I could've put more "many's" in that part, but that would've gotten obnoxious after a while. And you're not here for the "many's", you're here for the story! So, without further delay here we go! Cue the flashback here...

It was a suspiciously bright and sunny Spring day, when I was approached by the one and only Tom Nook. He went on and on about his great deserted island get-away package, and how it'll bring a brand new adventure into my life. Not gonna lie, I had no life at the time anyway, so it didn't take much to hook me in.

"Mystery! Danger! Statues with no modesty whatsoever! Sea Bass as far as the eye can see!" I clearly remember him telling me with a great sense of grandeur. The mystery part sounded fun, no doubts about that. I paid absolutely no attention to the danger portion, although maybe I should have now that I think about it. I remember being greatly amused by the statues and their complete lack of humility. 'That could turn out to be really funny', I thought. Sea bass? Surely they couldn't have been that bad. Right? Me, throwing caution to the wind completely, decided to partake in his offer and off we went!

"Sounds like a lot of fun!" I said. "What could possibly go wrong on a deserted island filled to the brim with sea bass?"

Cue a symphony of chirping crickets here, please. Turns out I may have spoken too soon. So there I was, on a deserted island without so much of a clue as to what to do and I'm thinking to myself "Oh man, I have no idea what I'm supposed to do!!! What do I do?!" Fortunately, it turned out I wasn't alone on this adventure...

Apparently these two were given the exact same spiel as I was and also accepted Tom Nook's offer of mystery, danger, statues, and bountiful sea bass. Huh, what are the odds of that happening? Oh well. On that day we all agreed that we would get to the bottom of this island's shenanigans... or die trying.

Okay, maybe not so much on the "die trying" part. That'd be a bit too extreme, even for us. That same night rumors about the deserted island of Windia started to circulate and it caught our attention. Supposedly, the longer we inhabited the place, the more the island's appearance would magically shift until it eventually took it's true form. We were much too tired to dwell on that any further, though, so we did the most appropriate thing we could think to do at the time...

Go to bed. No seriously, we were tired and our brains could only process so much at a time. We'll get to the figuring out and the sea bass catching tomorrow. For now: SLEEP!

And thus, The Tales of Windia begin! See you on the next post!

 

[Telula]

THE TALES OF WINDIA: CHAPTER 2
IF PLUCKY BAILS ON ME, I SWEAR...​

Greetings again, as I present to you another round of my island's wacky shenanigans! I can tell people are so thrilled. So without further ado, give me a chance to clear my throat so I can continue...

*clears throat and continues*

Oh how Spring continues to get springier around our simple little island! The birds are chirpier, the trees are pinker, the fish are just as fishy as ever, and things are slowly but surely getting weirder around here. The amount of villagers being subjected to this island's mysterious ways has increased tenfold. Scoot has become my second in command, which is pretty flippin' sweet. Oh, and Plucky also threatened to bail on me. Wait, what?!

This part of the story began one day while my villagers were in the plaza doing their best to stretch their stress away. Flick was just standing there in the corner doing nothing but being the chameleon version of Oscar the Grouch. I told him he could join them and stop being a sourpuss, but he told me off because apparently he hates exercise. Party pooper. I'll make him exercise to the other end of the island to hunt bugs if he keeps that attitude up.

Scoot decided to add his valuable input... with a fart joke of all things. Thanks little green dude! I knew there was a reason you became my right hand duck! Now I know that if I ever need advice, you'll be the first in line of villagers I ask for it. Unless the situation calls for something that's not gas related, then said advice will easily backfire on me. Let's hope that never happens though.

Norma drove Sherb batty enough that he ran a good 10 laps around the island. Let me tell you, there's nothing more bewildering than seeing a little blue goat bleating in rage as he dashes around the island at an almost Mach 5 speed. All I have to say to that is good job, Sherb! You keep that up and you'll be giving Scoot a run for his bells in the cardio department in no time! Look at Norma, though. She knows what she did wrong and she's not even remotely sorry. Not even a bit. I've got my eye on you missy!

Now, about that Plucky thing...

Oh Plucky, how your feathers have become increasingly gray since we first started living here. She seems to be at her wits end and keeps telling me that if things continue to get out of hand that she was hauling her feathered tail off the island and leaving us to fend for ourselves.

"Sherb was breathing fire yesterday while doing laps around the island! He was BREATHING. FIRE."

"Well yeah, sure," I said back, "but he was just a little frustrated. You don't breathe fire when you're angry?"

"...I saw night clowns lurking around last Saturday after midnight. They asked if I wanted to do a survey. Oh, and those sea bass? Totally zombie fish in disguise. Those things are totally dangerous" I gave her a hug and told her to turn in early that night, watching as her eye twitched more as she walked off.

That night I consulted with Muffy on the beach, asking her how likely it was for Plucky to bail on us. She wouldn't really do that, would she? Muffy looked me dead in the eyes and put her dark hooves on my shoulders before nodding her head, "Oh yeah, she's so gonna bail on us dudette." Aw, sea bass...

My birthday came around and my villagers threw me a little surprise party! It hit me right in the honey nut feelios. That is until I drank the special birthday cocktail they made for me. Mmmm, caffeinated cherry juice... loaded with 10 cans worth of Monster energy drink. I can now say with confidence that I make great night clown repellent. Turns out running frantically around the island screaming about T.P. with my shirt over my head scares them off good. I didn't sleep a wink that night, but my villagers thought it was funny as all get out. Glad I could be a good source of entertainment for them.

Will Plucky actually bail? Will I get any sleep after my birthday debacle? Will those pesky night clowns please leave my villagers the flip flap alone before I kick them all off the island myself? Oh wait, I can do that part right now. See what happens on the next installment of this very strange island journal!

Now if you'll excuse me, I've got some night clowns to expel off my island!

 

[Telula]

THE TALES OF WINDIA: CHAPTER 3
THE ANTICS CONTINUE ONWARD!
​

Hooray for faces both new and old! Our island progresses slowly but surely as we celebrate the construction of another bridge that'll most likely get destroyed later down the road of construction (yes, this eventually did happen lol). It's so great for everyone to be here-- wait, where's Plucky? Huh? Oh, she left me a letter:

To Rachel and my now ex-neighbors: I'm bailing on you guys. Sorry, but I can no longer handle the insanity and uncertainty of deserted island life. Everyone here is out of their gourd, and I swear to coconuts if one more night clown talks to me about extending my car's warranty I was going to lose my mind. I love you all, but I have to move on. I am therefore moving to the Infernal Isle of Doom to become a fire dancer/bartender.

Smell you later buttheads,
Plucky

Aaaaand she bailed.

Son of a biscuit. Not gonna lie, tears were shed in the most ungraceful manner. It wasn't exactly my proudest moment, I admit. To clear my head as our island continued to have a mind of its own, I went out for a walk in the dead of night. Because why not? Lo and behold, I encounter Diana of all animals in the graveyard! Why she was eating in the graveyard was beyond me, but I decided to hit her up for a quick chat anyway.

"Muffy called it, didn't she?" Yep, she sure did. Maybe she's a witch in disguise or something. Or a fortune teller... or both.

"Diana, my dear neighbor, do you always eat donuts in the graveyard?" Curiosity got the better of me and I just had to ask.

"You don't? Besides, they make great food for the banshees that show up after midnight." Was her deadpanned response. I shouldn't have asked after all. Night clowns were one thing, now we've got banshees to deal with too? Great, just great. Scoot! Buddy! What's your input on all this?

"I got nothing."

Thanks bud. Welp, not much I can do about that now except-- Oh! Double rainbow!

Man, I tell you, rainbows are one of the best things ever. Now where was I? Oh, right, the island!

The isle of Windia has slowly but surely started to take a different form. We still don't know exactly how or why this was happening the way it was. I admit we've been slacking off on the whole "figuring things out" thing in favor of drinking and zombie sea bass fighting. Quite fun, actually! Might have to turn that into the official sport of Windia once things are all said and done.

The statues aren't the only things with no modesty it seems. Though I don't think shorts would be very flattering on you anyway Apollo. Fast forward to about a month later, when one day the entrance of our island started shifting into a very different form all of a sudden right before my eyes.

I couldn't believe what I just saw. Until Apollo pinched me on the arm really hard and it hurt like a son of a gun. Then I believed it.

There was only one thing I knew I had to do. First: freak out. Then document this off-the-wall occurrence in my handy island journal. Then freak out some more before I run off to gather everybody for a town meeting. We should probably stop with the slacking off part now and actually get to work on figuring this island out. Will we be able to accomplish that? Hopefully. We're so confused right now it's not even funny.

See you next time friends!

 

[Telula]

THE TALES WINDIA: PART 4
THINGS JUST GOT TURNED UP A NOTCH ​

Or two. Maaaaybe three. Ah, the villagers of this mysterious, messed up island, how I love them so. Villagers come and villagers go. And when I say go I mean they really go...

Far away from our island that is. Sigh... We've had so many of them bail on us lately it wasn't even funny. Apollo left shortly after the entrance debacle. Apparently while it was in the process of forming, one of the garden lanterns had popped right out of the ground like a daisy... right directly underneath his rear end. He shot right up into the sky, high pitched squawking and all. So, with an ice pack firmly wrapped around his birdy booty and a suitcase in each wing, he bid us farewell and left as fast as his legs could carry him.

"Smell you later buttheads." Were his last words to us before to he took off into the sunset, booty ice pack and all.

Diana and Lobo left not too long afterwards. Diana left because the graveyard banshees refused to do manicures with her after feeding them all of those donuts. I didn't think she took it that seriously, but clearly I thought wrong. That explains why she was always up there though. Lobo, on the other paw, caught wind of Plucky's fire dancing shenanigans and wanted a piece of the action.

"You'll be the first to know if I get my tail scorched, okay?" Thanks Lobo.

Later that night, the island started to shift its form yet again! Okay, now I'm really starting to freak out here! Yes, I said we'd get to the bottom of this somehow. No, we haven't figured out squat yet. It's been a lot harder than I thought it was gonna be to do. This must've been what Tom Nook meant about "mystery" when he was giving me his island spiel at the beginning of this story.

Anyway, once the shifting stopped for the night I decided to patrol the newly formed areas and noticed something really cool in the process. We've got some sweet cannons now! It was right then and there that I knew what I needed to do: I quickly gathered the villagers together and we all took turns firing them off into the dead of night!

The fun part? Those sweet cannons of course! There's nothing more satisfying than seeing all of your villagers firing them off with looks of maniacal glee on their faces. The not so fun part? Receiving a hefty, multi page letter of complaint from a neighboring island stating that we were too flippin' loud. Um, oops.

The next morning I went to check the mail in the graveyard. Wait, why is my mailbox in the graveyard?! I swear, if my mailbox moves spots every time the island shifts I'm gonna be ticked off. If you thought that was strange, things really started to get off-the-wall bonkers when the dog statue started talking to me. Yes, you read that correctly. No, I'm not drunk on vacation juice.

"Hey how's it going?"

"..." Did I inhale too much cannon fumes last night?

"You're probably wondering why I'm here and talking to you right now. See, I'm an old guardian spirit whose job is to keep watch on this graveyard and keep the deadbeats who are currently 6 ft under in line. I also get to spook people out too. It's a pretty sweet gig! As for why I'm talking to you... I'm lonely, okay?"

I was about to ask her where the flip flap she came from, as I didn't recall seeing her yesterday morning, but then I remembered this island's habit of self formation and stopped myself. As we talked, I managed to get a little more backstory about this island.

So once upon a time it was this pretty cool kingdom full of action, adventure, and wicked parties. The spirits who currently haunt this island are the very same citizens from all those years ago. Being dormant for so many centuries has bored them to tears, so they want to bring the island back to its former glory and bring all of us along for the ride.

"Sorry for scaring all those other animals off the island, btw." She said.

"Eh, it's probably for the best." If I'm gonna be living on a haunted, self shaping island, then I'm gonna need villagers who'll stick it out with me through thick and thin.

"I'll tell you what," she said to me. "We'll lend you an assist. You know, to help move things along while you run this joint."

Tessa, Maggie, and Frank have now joined the team! All they needed was to hear the same spiel I got and they ran their butts over as fast as they could. I swear, it's gotta be the statue thing that ropes people in. I just hope they're ready for all the shenanigans that come along with this island. That evening, as I watched the stars and tried to process all the information I heard today, Curt invited himself to the spot beside me on the bench.

"I'm leaving the island at the end of the year," Curt tells me, as we gaze upon the statue contemplating the meaning of its life and whether or not he should buy that big ticket item at Nook's.

"Yeah, I kinda figured."

What else could possibly happen on this wild and wacky island? Wait and see in the next installment of The Tales of Windia!

 

[Telula]

THE TALES OF WINDIA: PART 5
THINGS ARE GETTING FIRED UP AROUND HERE! ​

Today's short installment of "The Tales of Windia" has been brought to you by the letter B and a couple of villagers who I think may be stoned out of their minds. Maybe. Possibly.

Roald and Poppy: "Duuuuuude..." Okay, they're really not but sometimes I wonder about those cute little critters of mine.

Our island has progressed quite beautifully over the past few months! New areas have come to life on their own and not another booty was poked in the process of them doing so! It makes me think back to Apollo and his days on the island... I hope he's not butt hurt about that garden lantern incident anymore.

We all decided that since our island was turning into something really super cool and awesome that we needed to celebrate! And what better way to celebrate than to hold a fireworks festival! First, here's a picture of me dancing like a buffoon in the graveyard! Oh, what loads of fun it was while it lasted! So what does that have to do with the festival, you ask? Um, you're about to find out shortly so sit tight.

You see, I made the huge mistake of doing my little dance routine at the same time our fireworks show went from "well-timed and coordinated" to "let's shoot these things off willy-nilly". So, what started off as a fun diversion for myself quickly went awry when a purple colored firework meant to be the grande finale went off course, boomeranged back towards the graveyard, and directly hit the ground right behind me. If I recall correctly, I think I went a good 500 ft in the air before I nosedived directly into the ocean. By pure dumb luck, I survived!

...Yeah, I think we're gonna let Isabelle be in charge of future fireworks shows from now on. Otherwise I'm not gonna live long enough to see old age. That's something I kind of want to do, you know?

One day, much to my surprise, one of my old villagers decided to stop in for a visit! Catching up with Leonardo was a nice breather from the chaos and he even told me stories about his escapades as a fire dancer! Oh, he also brought me a letter from Lobo with him. Hmm, I wonder what it says? Well, let's find out shall we?

Hi Rachel! Just wanted to let you know that I scorched my tail. Smell you later butthead. ~~Lobo

.....

Anyway, check these little guys out! Aren't they the cutest little things you've ever seen? Apparently they heard all about our island and its haunted, reshaping shenanigans and decided they wanted in on the fun. Let me tell you, gyroids know how to party. They've got the whole concept of it down to a T. They can sing! They can dance! They can...

...disrupt a person's sleep with their loud music! Wait, loud music?! Awww, sea bass. So much for sleep!

Can things get any crazier than they already are on this mysterious island? The answer to that is a big, fat yes. They very much can and will, but that's a story for a later time. Stay tuned for another installment of The Tales of Windia!

 

[Telula]

THE TALES OF WINDIA: PART 6:
SEA BASS, MAGIC, AND GHOSTS! OH MY!
​

People in the house of Windia say "Whoop! Whoop!"

"Bloop! Bloop!"

Eh, close enough. It's been awhile, hasn't it friends? Well, I'm happy to report that things are just as wacky as ever here on the isle of Windia! 'Drunken Zombie Sea Bass Fighting' is now the official sport of the island and boy is it fun! Ever fight a sea bass zombie? Those suckers are aggressive, let me tell you. They also happen to be the very same sea bass Tom Nook told us about at the beginning of this story, btw.

Anywho, I need to remember to tell Isabelle to record the next tournament when we hold it. Too much hilarity ensues to not catch it on video.

Winter here was surprisingly somewhat mellow in terms of shenanigans (which is why this entry is gonna fast forward through that season). But did that stop our island from having a mind of its own? No. No, it most certainly did not.

So it turns out the kingdom's old-timey residents get pretty grumpy when they're not allowed to change things as they please at their own pace. We've all learned by now to just let them do what they want when it comes to the island's shape shifting and stay out of their way. Genji learned this the hard way when he got chucked off one of the bridges when he tried to use one of the columns as a makeshift barbell. The ghosts apologized to him later on, then continued to go about their chaotic ways.

Credit where credit is due, though, they're quite detailed with their work!

Maggie, Frank, and Tessa have made themselves at home now and so far they haven't been weirded out enough to high tail it off the island. Frank has established himself as the head instructor of our island's very own Magic and Combat Academy. He insists that a good fireball spell will always come in handy in case any evildoers try to invade our home turf. Sounds good to me as far as I'm concerned! Plus, booties on fire are always funny to watch in action. Might have to have a discussion with him about the creepy basement, though.

Maggie's our Inn Keeper and both Tessa and I have no idea of what the flip flap we're doing just yet. Eh, we'll get it figured out... I think.

On another positive note: We've seen an uptick of friendly outsiders lately, including a goofy looking ghost! ...And a pirate who I'm almost positive is drunk on vacation juice 24/7. He claims he keeps falling overboard, but all my villagers are in solid agreement that his shipmates just chuck his feathered butt off the ship instead.

Wacky visitors aside, our island has really been coming into its own lately and it's getting to be quite impressive! Those spirits really know what they're doing when it comes to rebuilding this place. Then again, they know the original island better than we do. We'll just let them do what they need to do and then throw the most wicked party once things are all said and done. Oh man, partying with a bunch of ghosts is gonna be a blast and--

"S'up! We'll just park ourselves right here if that's cool with you!"

Ack! Even more talking statues?! You'd think I'd be used to this by now! How many more can this island possibly hold, anyway? Actually, you'd be surprised.

That's all for today! More shenanigans are on their way in the next chapter of The Tales of Windia!!!