UglyMonsterFace
Arize from Azulon
So as some of you know, I've been having a pretty rough time these past few weeks. Things have improved though, so I'm ready to open up about it, and maybe even receive some advice from you guys!
There are 2 parts to my issue so I'll address the part that I don't need any advice for first. My mom was rushed to emergency two Sundays ago because she had a seizure. You might be thinking, oh, that's not the worst thing ever. But see, my mom has MS (multiple sclerosis) and she also had a stroke 10 years ago that left her speechless, paralysed on half her body, and unable to eat or drink or do anything on her own. This means she has a very compromised immune system and even just one seizure is very life threatening. She had to be put into a medical coma so they could observe her and figure out what was wrong. When it was time to wake her up, she didn't. She was in a coma for a while with breathing tubes in her throat, and my family had to decide whether or not we wanted her to be resuscitated in case of heart failure, etc. We also started planning for burial/cremation arrangements, etc, which was very difficult for me to talk about and just overall painful to deal with. Anyway, that was the main thing that was getting me down. My mom is now awake though, and almost back to normal. She's still in the hospital for observation but at least she's in a more stable condition.
Now the next thing is what I need advice on, and that's whether or not to forgive my sister. Now on the Sunday that my mom was rushed to the ER, I was in the waiting room with my sister, dad, and boyfriend. Somehow, the conversation went to Breath of the Wild. My sister was mentioning some light spoilers and I told her to please not talk about it. She kept talking about it even though I said multiple times that I don't want to hear anything about the game since I haven't played it yet. Again and again she insisted to tell me about these things so I just covered my ears. Now some background info, my sister and I have a pretty rocky relationship because of something that happened before. I won't go into details, but she sometimes insults me, or does things to bug me on purpose, or is just rude to me. I put up with it all the time without standing up for myself because she is incredibly sensitive and I don't wanna hurt her. Anyway, this time, I was already really irritated because she wouldn't stop, but I didn't want to yell at her or get mad so I just covered my ears while she was trying to tell my bf about the game (he also did not want spoilers, btw). Then this made my sister very angry. Apparently I was disrespecting her, and when I would try to talk to her she would cover her ears and yell LALALALALALA then say "Oh so you don't like when I do that to you?" I was shocked because she was turning such a small thing into a big deal, and while my mom was in the ER too. I asked her, "Seriously, are you mad at me because I don't want to hear your spoilers?" Then she put her face over mine and started yelling at me, and her spit just flew into my face. It wasn't intentional, but it was a lot of spit and it was very disrespectful of her to just tower over me to yell an inch at my face in front of everyone. I almost hit her, but I stopped myself to wipe off the spit from my face (three big globs of spit). She got mad and stood up over me, and slapped me in the face. So I punched her. She opened her water bottle and poured it over my head and bag. And she kept trying to hit me so my bf actually had to protect me from her. She was trying to rip my hair off and I was trying to hit her so she would get off me. I then sat down and she came at me to hit me more so I kicked her away. She grabbed my phone and smashed it on the ground. Then the security came and told us we had to leave. My sister told her I hit her first and she's sorry and I'm the one who started everything, etc. I started crying because all I did was try to defend myself from her abuse and here she was trying to turn everyone against me. Now some of you might know I have social anxiety and this was just my worst nightmare come to life. Everyone was staring and I just started crying because my dad also told me to stop fighting with my sister. My sister yelled at me to stop trying to cause a scene, and I had to leave because I was hysterical and having a panic attack and crying like an idiot. Anyway, it's been really hard because I have to see my sister every day when we visit our mom, and we don't talk. Being in the same room is very awkward too, and now when her kids visit, we can't approach them anymore (and we really are close to her kids).
So the thing I need advice with is this: My sister apologized through text for her behaviour. However, she hasn't said anything to my face. She also said that she has been super stressed and that's why she did that, but I don't think that's an excuse to be abusive. Sure, maybe say something mean, but to straight up attack me? So should I accept her texted apology? Or should I completely cut her off from my life? This would also mean never seeing her kids.. You should also know that that wasn't the first time that my sister has hit me in public. She also insults me, and has done very horrible things that I won't mention. Over all, she's a pretty toxic person, but I have always been very protective and careful around her, and I never cut her off before because I love her kids so much and can't stand not being able to see them. I'm the only one who tries to raise her confidence too, even when she tries to tear me down. So what would you do in this scenario? Please let me know because I'm so stressed over this. My nature is very forgiving, but that always leaves me open to be taken advantage of, which happens all the time within my family. Any advice would be appreciated!
There are 2 parts to my issue so I'll address the part that I don't need any advice for first. My mom was rushed to emergency two Sundays ago because she had a seizure. You might be thinking, oh, that's not the worst thing ever. But see, my mom has MS (multiple sclerosis) and she also had a stroke 10 years ago that left her speechless, paralysed on half her body, and unable to eat or drink or do anything on her own. This means she has a very compromised immune system and even just one seizure is very life threatening. She had to be put into a medical coma so they could observe her and figure out what was wrong. When it was time to wake her up, she didn't. She was in a coma for a while with breathing tubes in her throat, and my family had to decide whether or not we wanted her to be resuscitated in case of heart failure, etc. We also started planning for burial/cremation arrangements, etc, which was very difficult for me to talk about and just overall painful to deal with. Anyway, that was the main thing that was getting me down. My mom is now awake though, and almost back to normal. She's still in the hospital for observation but at least she's in a more stable condition.
Now the next thing is what I need advice on, and that's whether or not to forgive my sister. Now on the Sunday that my mom was rushed to the ER, I was in the waiting room with my sister, dad, and boyfriend. Somehow, the conversation went to Breath of the Wild. My sister was mentioning some light spoilers and I told her to please not talk about it. She kept talking about it even though I said multiple times that I don't want to hear anything about the game since I haven't played it yet. Again and again she insisted to tell me about these things so I just covered my ears. Now some background info, my sister and I have a pretty rocky relationship because of something that happened before. I won't go into details, but she sometimes insults me, or does things to bug me on purpose, or is just rude to me. I put up with it all the time without standing up for myself because she is incredibly sensitive and I don't wanna hurt her. Anyway, this time, I was already really irritated because she wouldn't stop, but I didn't want to yell at her or get mad so I just covered my ears while she was trying to tell my bf about the game (he also did not want spoilers, btw). Then this made my sister very angry. Apparently I was disrespecting her, and when I would try to talk to her she would cover her ears and yell LALALALALALA then say "Oh so you don't like when I do that to you?" I was shocked because she was turning such a small thing into a big deal, and while my mom was in the ER too. I asked her, "Seriously, are you mad at me because I don't want to hear your spoilers?" Then she put her face over mine and started yelling at me, and her spit just flew into my face. It wasn't intentional, but it was a lot of spit and it was very disrespectful of her to just tower over me to yell an inch at my face in front of everyone. I almost hit her, but I stopped myself to wipe off the spit from my face (three big globs of spit). She got mad and stood up over me, and slapped me in the face. So I punched her. She opened her water bottle and poured it over my head and bag. And she kept trying to hit me so my bf actually had to protect me from her. She was trying to rip my hair off and I was trying to hit her so she would get off me. I then sat down and she came at me to hit me more so I kicked her away. She grabbed my phone and smashed it on the ground. Then the security came and told us we had to leave. My sister told her I hit her first and she's sorry and I'm the one who started everything, etc. I started crying because all I did was try to defend myself from her abuse and here she was trying to turn everyone against me. Now some of you might know I have social anxiety and this was just my worst nightmare come to life. Everyone was staring and I just started crying because my dad also told me to stop fighting with my sister. My sister yelled at me to stop trying to cause a scene, and I had to leave because I was hysterical and having a panic attack and crying like an idiot. Anyway, it's been really hard because I have to see my sister every day when we visit our mom, and we don't talk. Being in the same room is very awkward too, and now when her kids visit, we can't approach them anymore (and we really are close to her kids).
So the thing I need advice with is this: My sister apologized through text for her behaviour. However, she hasn't said anything to my face. She also said that she has been super stressed and that's why she did that, but I don't think that's an excuse to be abusive. Sure, maybe say something mean, but to straight up attack me? So should I accept her texted apology? Or should I completely cut her off from my life? This would also mean never seeing her kids.. You should also know that that wasn't the first time that my sister has hit me in public. She also insults me, and has done very horrible things that I won't mention. Over all, she's a pretty toxic person, but I have always been very protective and careful around her, and I never cut her off before because I love her kids so much and can't stand not being able to see them. I'm the only one who tries to raise her confidence too, even when she tries to tear me down. So what would you do in this scenario? Please let me know because I'm so stressed over this. My nature is very forgiving, but that always leaves me open to be taken advantage of, which happens all the time within my family. Any advice would be appreciated!