how do you go about making friends?

[Elvera]

alright, this is super dorky, but like, how do you go about making friends? i'm kinda in need of new friends, but honestly, i don't know how to approach people; i guess that's because of my anxiety and whatever. so yeah just give me some advice i guess? haha
this can be for online for real life ^^

I wouldn't say I'm great at making friends in real life, I just got super lucky meeting some great people who have a lot patience with my shyness.
Honestly I say make a friendly comment or asking a simple question goes a long way. On here if you ever see someone with a dreamtown you really love, tell them. Their signature or avatar from something you recognize and love, say you enjoy it as well, see if a conversation can come from that. Once you reach that acquaintance stage move onto something similar but a little different, get to know them.

Real life, find something small you have noticed about the person you want to be friends with and compliment it (not a creepy stalkerish thing though, that's bad!). A lady I work with always has nice nails (ALWAYS!) and then I learnt that she did it herself and continued to talk about it (I'm not that into nails to learn what I did, but it was cool), another day she came up and started talking to me. I say she is my friend now since we talk even outside of work, I haven't actually asked if we are, because how do you ask that?

Just remember small things can go a long way! Especially in real life when people aren't always as nice as they are here.

 

[hamster]

usually people approach me but sometimes i make the effort and approach them. i wouldn't say i'm awkward, i'm rarely shy but i'm terrible with conversations and if you don't get to know me you'll probably find me really boring

i'm literally talking to one of my best friends right now and we're just sitting doing whatever on our phones as usual. great conversation!

 

[tumut]

I let them come to me

 

[carp]

succ

 

[visibleghost]

i do Not .,
i havent made any friends in so long lmao it's pathetic but hhjhf my social anxiety and autism and Bad Personality make me a rly great social situation murderer . i Die every time i talk to pepple im not comfortable around or dont know very well

 

[MarcelTheFool]

Im to awkward for friends asfaa having anexity and autism makes interactions hard as hell i usually end up talking about thibgs i like in hopes of finding something in common

 

[AlanRickmanFan27]

i sadly don't too shy and awkward and ppl find me boring and annoying and they can't even stand me talking for 5 mins and would leave me in a week im terrible at convos even not finding anyone having the same interests as me but i would add anyone and talk to anyone if they only see im not mean im nice blunt sweet kind and honest and not boring or annoying even when talking

 

[Chicha]

You have to be proactive about it. Don't be afraid to jump into conversations. Don't expect to get a positive reaction and to try to go with low expectations. I found that better than setting unrealistic ones and turn out disappointed.

I say we should all form a Discord channel to try to connect with each other.

 

[AlanRickmanFan27]

You have to be proactive about it. Don't be afraid to jump into conversations. Don't expect to get a positive reaction and to try to go with low expectations. I found that better than setting unrealistic ones and turn out disappointed.

I say we should all form a Discord channel to try to connect with each other.

tried on that failed and idk if im allowed to have Discord and i dont have a mic like everyone else so idk if they could hear me on it but im not showing my face im ugly! lol xD

 

[Chicha]

tried on that failed and idk if im allowed to have Discord and i dont have a mic like everyone else so idk if they could hear me on it but im not showing my face im ugly! lol xD

Well, don't give up! It takes time finding the right people.

Fortunately, Discord doesn't require a mic. There's an AC one for the forum here.

 

[AlanRickmanFan27]

Well, don't give up! It takes time finding the right people.

Fortunately, Discord doesn't require a mic. There's an AC one for the forum here.

oh thanks and lol srry kind of a noob on Discord but not on AC

 

[pinkcotton]

I start with a "Hi", and then it usually escalates into a conversation ☆ extrovert ☆ and if it doesn't, I don't push it. c:

 

[Loriii]

It doesn't usually stress me out when making friends. I just try to approach, greet then start a conversation. If I feel like they don't want to talk, I'd stop. The thing is, nowadays I'm kinda being picky on who I am going to make friends with due to past issues. I'm almost always suspicious that people has an agenda if they are being too nice. I'll probably continue talking to them but that doesn't mean I'm genuinely friends with them.

 

[Nanabells]

It's easier for me to make friends IRL, compared to online. But I think one tip that'll help with making friends both offline and online is to be genuinely interested in what the other person is saying!

 

[Dogemon]

Being myself and not actively trying to be everyone's friend all at once works pretty well in my experience.

 

[awesomeelle2001]

While this can be terrifying, I just go up to them and ask if I can 'hang out'. If you don't want to take the plunge immediately, start up a small conversation with them about simple topics. Compliment them, talk about the weather, tell jokes. Eventually, your conversations will get you closer and you can ask them to hang out or have lunch, etc. Sorry if this doesn't help. Online, similar sort of process. Start up a small conversation. Online, I find it easier as these people don't know you and it's not as awkward.

Hope this helps!

 

[ams]

I generally make friends by just being really nice and friendly to everyone and then choosing the people that I hit it off with. Like if I'm at school I just say hi to classmates at Starbucks or in theatres and ask them how things are going or how their weekend was. Eventually you start talking about more interesting things and you can decide if you have the important things in common or not. I also invite myself into conversations between classmates if I have a shared interest. They usually don't mind (or pretend not to).

 

[Ghost Soda]

I'm not exactly a pro-conversationalist, so take my tips with a grain of salt, but you can never really go wrong with asking them about their interests, e.g. "what books do you like" "what tv shows do you watch" "what are your favorite hobbies" ect. You can find out what interests you have in common and work up from there! And really, even if the conversation ends up real awkward, that's still a step forward to being more comfortable with casually starting conversations with others!

And hey, my inbox is always open, so feel free to message me if you ever want to have someone to talk to!

 

[Fearthecuteness]

i do Not .,
i havent made any friends in so long lmao it's pathetic but hhjhf my social anxiety and autism and Bad Personality make me a rly great social situation murderer . i Die every time i talk to pepple im not comfortable around or dont know very well

This is almost the same as my situation. Mixing that with depression and what I suspect is dyspraxia I struggle to work so I don't even get out of my place much. So I've even lost a lot of friends as well. When I do socialise I'm usually saying things wrong and come off as rude or sound stupid and those times always replay in my head.

Right now I am getting help so hoping I can sort myself out. Reading this thread is handy for me right now.

 

[mitzi_crossing]

I struggle to make friends so I've asked myself this question before too. I think when it comes to a true friendship, it'll grow and develop on its own. You won't have to force them to be friends with you, or even ask them. I only have like 4 good friends in my life, so I try not to focus on it too much. I'd rather have less BETTER friends than more friends that don't treat me well, ditch me, etc.