The out of context quotes thread

"Oh man, this is pretty great! Hey, as long as you don't make me smell Uranus." *laughs*

"I don't get it."

"I'm sorry, Fry, but astronomers renamed Uranus in 2620 to end that stupid joke once and for all."

"Oh. What's it called now?"

"Urectum. Here, let me locate it for you."
 
*Nikola Jokic and Luka Doncic walking down the steps to their buses together*

"That's cool...."

"They know what a pro wants."

"What a pro needs."

"Whatever makes them happy?"

"And sets them free!"

*Jokic and Doncic begin singing in different European languages*

*All of a sudden LeBron James cuts in*


"And I'm not gonna give you up again! I don't wanna wait no morrrrrreeee...."

*a few moments later*

"Welp, that's our song! It's called 'We suck at music' on the album 'We don't know how to make music.' Listen to it today on Spotify Premium!"
 
That’s it. We’re done. You are no longer employed here.

Please, sir.

We need a nice, clean towel here at summer camp. We don’t need a towel that shoots heroin and has sex for money.

Some people are so picky about their towels.

'What's this? Extremely high voltage? Well I don't need safety gloves, because I'm Homer Simp-'
*gets electrocuted*
 
Towelie is definitely the most… addicted towel we’ve ever seen here. He’s probably the second most psychologically damaged towel I’ve come across since treating Kirstie Alley’s towel, which has seen some *shivers* nasty stuff.
 
*C.C. extends her hand out to shake Sharri Lewis’ hand who is holding Lambchop*
“Hi, Ms Lewis, I’m C.C. Babcock.”
*Lambchop suddenly starts screaming in horror and C.C. jumps back in shock. Sharri then covers the puppet’s mouth and lets go and she continues screaming*
“What did I do?!”
*Fran pulls C.C. away*
“Your coat.”
“What about it?”
“New Zealand lamb?!”
“So?”
“Maybe she had people over there!”
“Take. It. Off!”
“Three words she doesn’t hear that often.”
 
Last edited:
‘YOU’RE LETTING ME GO???’
‘Kirk, crackers are a family food. Happy families. Maybe single people eat crackers, we don’t know. Frankly, we don’t want to know. It’s a market we could do without.’
‘So that’s it after 20 years? So long, good luck?’
‘I don’t recall saying good luck.’
 
“Oh hello Miss Chop, Im Fran Fine and I must tell you I’ve been a fan of yours ever since I was a little girl.”
“Ever since you were-?”
*Lambchop starts laughing hysterically*
“That is unpossible! I’m only six.”
“Oh come on, I used to watch you on my black and white t-“
“I’m only six!”
“Oh I get it. That’s okay. My mother counts in lamb years too!”
 
Sir, for your own safety, we do advise you to evacuate.

I ain’t leaving! I was born in this nursing home, and I’ll die in this nursing home!

Is there any chance of you changing your mind?

Sure, let’s go.
 
Dear, God. This is Marge Simpson. If you stop this hurricane and save our family, we will be forever grateful and recommend you to all our friends. So if you could find it in your infinite wisdom to-

Wait. Listen, everybody. The hurricane’s over.

He fell for it! Way to go, Marge!
 
Back
Top