When does a good message become preachy?

Blood Eclipse

Blood Eclipse

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It's a question that's been bothering me for some time. I usually see people with a message of helping their less fortunate fellow human or discussions with good intentions behind it (such as the importance of climate change) easily brushed off with labels like SJW, snowflake, communist, socialist and whatever other popular lingo the future holds. I never understood why helping humanity is viewed more negatively than those who wish to regress it.

Anyway, I realize typing this thread won't have any effect on the real world. I don't intend to change it through this method, nor do I hold any wishful thinking. I'm more hoping to get some honest answer.

If someone, for example, thinks animals are being mistreated for the sake of mass consumption, how would you go about relating the message without being labeled a whiner or someone who thinks they're better than others?

Likewise any other issue.
 
I would say reguarding animals.. "How would you like to be slaughtered and eaten?
Or have your kids taken from you and slaughtered and eaten?"

Animals have a right to life/live.
 
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There's no way to relate a message that will please all sides and manage to avoid getting labeled. It's something activists of all sort have to accept. Moral issues and causes will always have backlash from some group or another. People on the right will go after those on the left, and vice versa. Fact of the matter is, no matter what you believe or choose to do in life, you will be labeled something negatively by some other group. Even if you try to be moderate, especially, you'll get assailed from people on both sides of the political spectrum. People will question your motives, your causes, and so forth. And it's only gotten worse in the last decade. It's why I don't even discuss religion or politics much anymore unless it's someone I know, trust, and realize we will both take each other's views in good faith, even if we don't agree. An example would be my husband, who has different religious and political views than me, yet we've been together almost 17 years.
 
I personally think when my views are being challenged when I didn't ask or feel the need to change is when I get irritated. As well as the message being told over and over and over and over again when I heard it the first time.

For example, if I'm browsing the internet and come across an article about the meat industry, if I was interested, I'll click on it and learn that way. What I don't want is to be randomly bothered while I'm eating a hotdog.

I prefer to lead by example, which is definitely hard to do for some messages. Minimalism for example, is perfect for this because instead of walking into someone else's house and nitpicking at their clutter when they didn't ask for my opinion, I'll declutter my own house and when they come over and comment on my decluttered home, I can then talk about it there.
 
someone will always think you're too radical, even when you compromise.

i don't think it's worthwhile to think about what some people will think about your agenda when it is to better society. obviously, you need to be able to take criticism of some sort and you're not always 100% right, which is something some people seem to believe people they label as "sjw" or socialist or whatever are unable to grasp.

it's definitely easier to reach others with a more forgiving mindset that doesn't guilt people for not understanding an issue or knowing enough to form an opinion on it, or even being misinformed. it's better to teach them, be patient and explain your side without accusations of immorality or stupidity, but it's hard sometimes to always be patient when you're talking about things that are so basic to you and are part of your core values. some issues i think are very important are about basic human rights, and it upsets me when people don't see my side because i don't think it's debatable - either you're for or against human rights, right? and one of those is obviously better than the other. idk, that just seems to anger a lot of people to put it like that

basically, i used to get into a bunch of fights on this site like five years ago or something about everything from trans issues to communism and i wouldn't do it again if i had the opportunity, because i don't see a point in throwing words around and accusing people who don't care enough of bigotry. i still have strong opinions but i am better at expressing them without being hated for it, i guess. obviously people still think i'm a commie, which to be fair is true, and won't listen to what i have to say, but i don't care about them because

it's still funny to tell capitalism fanboys about how healthcare should be socialized, but i don't take it personally because real change doesn't come from fighting with randos online, you have to go out into your community, take real life action or challenge politicians to get real change going.

sorry if this post is hardly understandable but i guess tldr some people won't listen, and the change will have to happen despite them. yes, it would be nice if we could talk others into agreeing, but most of the time people have hard opinions and if someone's set on calling you any degrading word for being a leftist, then the chance of changing them is low and you might as well just not bother with them, imo.
 
I have always had better luck leading by example. Then again, I'm pretty non-confrontational, so I don't often voice my strong opinions in real life. But I've seen the results of people being told that their way of thinking is wrong or that there's a better way. It usually leads to them getting defensive which doesn't allow them to look at things objectively.

I'm a huge animal lover, but I have never attacked someone for not living up to my standards of what is right. I wouldn't stand by and do nothing if I saw outright animal abuse and I would report serious neglect to the proper authorities. However, as an example, I do not kill bugs. When I see others kill them in front of me, I quite frankly hate it. Yet, I sit quietly and say nothing because what's done is done and causing a scene isn't going to make the other person any less likely to kill a bug in the future. But if I see the bug first, I gently scoop it up and move it out of harm's way or take it outside. When people see me do that, they sometimes ask me about it and then I'm able to tell them how I feel and why I do it while they're in a more receptive state of mind. Maybe it changes their actions in the future, maybe it doesn't, but it has a better chance of working than attacking or berating someone.

Because of my actions, I've had co-workers call me over to remove pesky insects that scared them, rather than calling on someone else to just squash them. My father-in-law removed dozens of ladybugs from his home my way and proudly told me about it and said he never would have thought twice about killing them before he met me. He's also started befriending the squirrels in his yard instead of trying to get rid of them. One of my husband's friends stopped on a busy highway to move a turtle off the road so it wouldn't get hit and told me it was all because of me.

So, have my actions changed the world drastically? Definitely not. But they have apparently left enough of an impression on the people I know to make them think twice about their actions. It may not be saving the world, but it has saved the lives of at least a few animals, lives that probably wouldn't have been saved if I had initiated the conversations or gotten preachy about it.
 
I think it comes down to tone and willingness to engage in a conversation (rather than talking at/down to others).
 
I would never expect anyone to live the way that I choose to live. I can only lead by example in my own life, in the relatively short amount of time that I have on this planet and in this body, and I will be damned if I waste a second of it trying to convince someone that they’re wrong, even if they objectively are.
 
Kuriboh said:
It's a question that's been bothering me for some time. I usually see people with a message of helping their less fortunate fellow human or discussions with good intentions behind it (such as the importance of climate change) easily brushed off with labels like SJW, snowflake, communist, socialist and whatever other popular lingo the future holds. I never understood why helping humanity is viewed more negatively than those who wish to regress it.

Anyway, I realize typing this thread won't have any effect on the real world. I don't intend to change it through this method, nor do I hold any wishful thinking. I'm more hoping to get some honest answer.

If someone, for example, thinks animals are being mistreated for the sake of mass consumption, how would you go about relating the message without being labeled a whiner or someone who thinks they're better than others?

Likewise any other issue.
Click to expand...

Some people are majorly out of touch, or don't want to get into a "controversial" discussion. Personally, I think the discussions are important and needed and there's nothing controversial about it. You get people telling others to man up, snowflake, whiteknight, etc they are all just slurs for insecure people who can't face topics that are world changing.
 
I mean, unless someone is aggressive with their message or just constantly harp on a person with their message, I think the perception of if a message is preachy or not is the opinion and perspective of the listener rather than it actually being preachy. Some people just get annoyed or frustrated when presented with something that they do, or goes against how they feel or against what they want to do.
TBH I do feel like alot of people are just, fake? And they just want to go through life however and not really be self challenged, grow, and improve. Some people aren't ok with accepting how they really are, what their flaws are, or how they really feel about things. or how things really are "out there". So when they do hear something that hits a spot like that, or they feel targeted or attacked, they get annoyed, frustrated, and push back. One of the ways that is expressed is calling something preachy, calling someone a SJW or snowflake ect.
They don't want to talk about it or hear about it.

This is just my perspective. I think it is important to talk about issues, even if you think it isn't one or "doesn't exist" because, what if you are wrong or there is something going on there that may not be the topic but is related. Or what if a topic or problem has multiple roots that needs to be addressed to manage or overcome?
 
Just a short thought since many others have already answered this, but I think something becomes preachy when someone is talking about what's good to do and then they pull some bs like "oh I've been doing this for years and if you haven't then you're basically a bad person" like calm down my friend lol
 
I gave up boba last year due to the single-use plastic cups. When I hang out with my friends, I just don't order one but I don't shame them when they do. When my mom asks me to pick up a boba for her, I don't decline because it's her money. The way I see it I can only control what I do with my life, and it's not my place to nit pick the micro decisions other people make. My preachy friends are, frankly, not fun to be around and also their methods are ineffective. The best I can hope for is that my actions might cause others to re-evaluate their own, or at least spark healthy discussion.
 
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i'm of the opinion that you pretty much are agreeing to endure me calling out your pudding brained habits when we have entered a mutual friendship

it's in my contract
 
I'd say when other people don't want to hear it. Either out of ignorance or plain annoyance.
 
When they act like they're better than you. You can't approach someone confrontationally if you want to change their mind.
Ie. veganism is great for the environment but just because someone eats meat doesn't mean they're evil. Don't come at them saying they're wrong for their lifestyle, share tasty vegan meals with them instead. Whether or not a message even has a chance of being received all depends on the delivery.
 
Firesquids said:
When they act like they're better than you. You can't approach someone confrontationally if you want to change their mind.
Ie. veganism is great for the environment but just because someone eats meat doesn't mean they're evil. Don't come at them saying they're wrong for their lifestyle, share tasty vegan meals with them instead. Whether or not a message even has a chance of being received all depends on the delivery.
Click to expand...

Yes, this 100%. And just to prove your point (and because I haven’t posted in this thread yet)... I’m someone who consumes a fair amount of meat in their diet. I’ve considered going either vegetarian or vegan though. If someone shared some good recipes with me I’d be more inclined to change to that diet. But if they come at me saying I’m evil and how they’re better than me and everything, then I’d be less inclined to change. Delivery really is one of, if not the, most important parts of a message.
 
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