Serious Talk on Sex -Keep It Mature! description about a manga now added

[Coni]

Can I, um, ask about a masturbation here? It is so embarrassing to talk about this for me but I prefer to ask here than anywhere else.

I discovered how to do it when I was 6 (but I didn't know what it was until two years ago...), and it's not like I have done it every day ever since but more like a few times a month at most. My question is, is it true that doing it too much can reduce how much you enjoy real sex later on? I don't know about boys, but it is a bit "trendy" to talk about these things in my school and all the girls say that masturbating too much (how much would be "too much"?) will later ruin sex when you actually start doing it.

I'm so so so sorry if this sounds ignorant. In my school there's no actual sex ed class but rather they dedicate one week of schooling to just that. The person who gave that class was very mean and I didn't dare ask questions, and I'd ask my parents but I feel too embarrassed to tell them I masturbate even when I know they wouldn't have a problem with it.

I feel like hugging you right now D:
Masturbation is good, explore yourself and learn what do you like and what you dont, if you dont know what your body enjoys, how will you teach your significant other to make you feel good? I think its only natural that people masturbate and sex is not at all ruined if you do, in fact I think its better!
Just take the proper caution as in washing your hands so you dont get any infections in the vagina, etc, thats about it really. c:

 

[Princess Weeb]

Also, cliterous stimulation plays a role, too.
My friends, and things I have read online, did "too much" stimulation, that it was impossible for them to achieve an orgasm by internal vaginal stimulation alone.
Often times, stopping that part of the masturbation allowed them to orgasm with sole internal vaginal play again within a week or so.

Most women can't do that though anyway (usually)

 

[effluo]

My brother has had erections from looking at fepreight trains... Does he need help, he gets turned on by trains.

He could possibly be an objectum sexual as well. Is he only turned on by trains?

Like the others said as well. He could be turned on for other reasons. There is nothing wrong with him though.
Everyone is different.

 

[Bearica]

This is a perfectly normal question. =3

Masturbation can actually help enjoy sex since you will know what you already like and can guide your partner.
The down side to masturbation, is sometimes the "toys" or items you use can make it impossible for your partner to match up you.
I mean, if you use items that are larger than your partner, then it is possible to not feel as satisfied because they won't be able to "hit" all the right parts that the toy could do.

However, if your partner is inexperienced and isn't very good at pleasing you. It can lead to frustration and often thoughts while having sex, "I can do this better myself."
This just leads to not connecting... which is an important thing to have with a sexual partner.

Also, cliterous stimulation plays a role, too.
My friends, and things I have read online, did "too much" stimulation, that it was impossible for them to achieve an orgasm by internal vaginal stimulation alone.
Often times, stopping that part of the masturbation allowed them to orgasm with sole internal vaginal play again within a week or so.

Verbal communication with your partner is key - if you want them to do something or change what they're doing then you have to let them know. They can't read your mind!

And not everyone can orgasm just from penetration alone - a lot of people require other stimulation too and that's perfectly normal!

 

[Cariad]

He also gets turned on when he hugs teddys. At least he is more normal than I thought

 

[fallenchaoskitten]

My brother has had erections from looking at fepreight trains... Does he need help, he gets turned on by trains.

As other users said, it is kinda a hormonal thing...
And if he is going through property, it happens a lot more often.

And also, who knows, maybe looking at the trains fills him with the fantasy of traveling off into some unknown world by train and meeting a beautiful partner where they have love for the first time on a train. Or he just a fantasy in general of trying it on a train just like some people have a fantasy to do it at the movie theater or in the back of a car.

 

[aetherene]

Speaking of masturbation, you shouldn't masturbate with anything you really shouldn't use to put in your vagina. Meaning, don't use the handle of a hairbrush to masturbate with. The reason is because there are ridges or crevices that could hurt you inside and cause you to bleed. Plus, it's not sanitary.

Toys or clean fingers are the best.

And for lubrication, only use water or lube (lube is preferably). Don't use lotions or cooking oils or vaseline because it will mess with your vagina and it's not fun.

 

[Bearica]

Speaking of masturbation, you shouldn't masturbate with anything you really shouldn't use to put in your vagina. Meaning, don't use the handle of a hairbrush to masturbate with. The reason is because there are ridges or crevices that could hurt you inside and cause you to bleed. Plus, it's not sanitary.

Toys or clean fingers are the best.

And for lubrication, only use water or lube (lube is preferably). Don't use lotions or cooking oils or vaseline because it will mess with your vagina and it's not fun.

On the subject of lube, do not use oil-based lubes for insertion - they can lead to infections and can break down latex. Only use water and silicone based lubes if you're going to use lube.

 

[fallenchaoskitten]

Verbal communication with your partner is key - if you want them to do something or change what they're doing then you have to let them know. They can't read your mind!

And not everyone can orgasm just from penetration alone - a lot of people require other stimulation too and that's perfectly normal!

Very good points. =3

Verbal is key...
And starting out is really hard to do... -still a newly wed and new to this type of stuff-
If you are too scared to actually say it starting out, heavier breathing and tightening of hands/arms around the person can give queues that is what you like. But sooner or later, you'll have to help each other out for you both to enjoy the experience fully.

There are medical... physical and psychology that can prevent people from feeling pleasure through penetration. Not just orgasm, but pleasure at all.
If it is a no pleasure at all instance, I recommend seeing a professional doctor to make sure nothing is actually wrong... since there is a list of things that can be treated with some medication or though-reworking to make the experience better.

 

[Cardbored]

Masturbating can lead to depression/low self-esteem and make you less energetic, and your expectations of women can be ruined by porn. It's not totally a bad thing though, but keep these things in mind.

 

[aetherene]

On the subject of lube, do not use oil-based lubes for insertion - they can lead to infections and can break down latex. Only use water and silicone based lubes if you're going to use lube.

Oil based lube is only best for guys if they want to masturbate.

For ladies, water based and silicone based are the best, I agree. It's good for sex and masturbation.

 

[Jas0n]

I'm quite impressed with how mature this has been so far. Keep it up guys.

I'm a bisexual man in a gay relationship so if anyone would like advice from that side of the spectrum feel free to let me know.

 

[fallenchaoskitten]

Speaking of masturbation, you shouldn't masturbate with anything you really shouldn't use to put in your vagina. Meaning, don't use the handle of a hairbrush to masturbate with. The reason is because there are ridges or crevices that could hurt you inside and cause you to bleed. Plus, it's not sanitary.

Toys or clean fingers are the best.

And for lubrication, only use water or lube (lube is preferably). Don't use lotions or cooking oils or vaseline because it will mess with your vagina and it's not fun.

On the subject of lube, do not use oil-based lubes for insertion - they can lead to infections and can break down latex. Only use water and silicone based lubes if you're going to use lube.

I have to slightly disagree here...
Coming from a person with a thinning vaginal wall and who literally suffers through sex a lot... I have gained a lot of knowledge with lube and how it feels. XP

Oil is actually really nice... It helps more than water based when it comes to ease and doesn't cause as big a mess.
I do recommend after sex or play to go pee afterwards. I know, most of the time you don't wanna get up, but it helps.
You peeing will help sterilize as well as push out whatever may have traveled up your pee hole... good way to prevent UTI's.

It is also important to find out if you like cooling or warmth.
Personally, it already feels like I am on fire when having sex, so we use a cooling lube.
My friends on the other hand... like it hot and steamy.
Changing lube based on its "effects" can also help.

But what ever you do NEVER use a silicone based lube...
They are awful... And end up really tacky within a couple mins... and makes it hurt worse than just doing it dry. >.>
My husband and I found that out the hard way while on the honeymoon. >.>

 

[Leanne]

Thank you everyone for your replies. ^^ I have been looking at this thread for the past two hours or so and I was too embarrassed to ask my question but I'm glad I received so many replies!

I don't own any toys or anything. The most I have done was to rub down there but never inserted anything yet. I don't know how irrational this may be but I fear breaking my hymen, and if there's anything that I could give a boy when the time comes, I'd like him to take that away from me. ^^

I will follow the water/lube suggestions when I decide to go farther. Some of my classmates already own some toys but I don't think I'd be ready to use anything like that yet.

 

[Bearica]

I have to slightly disagree here...
Coming from a person with a thinning vaginal wall and who literally suffers through sex a lot... I have gained a lot of knowledge with lube and how it feels. XP

Oil is actually really nice... It helps more than water based when it comes to ease and doesn't cause as big a mess.
I do recommend after sex or play to go pee afterwards. I know, most of the time you don't wanna get up, but it helps.
You peeing will help sterilize as well as push out whatever may have traveled up your pee hole... good way to prevent UTI's.

It is also important to find out if you like cooling or warmth.
Personally, it already feels like I am on fire when having sex, so we use a cooling lube.
My friends on the other hand... like it hot and steamy.
Changing lube based on its "effects" can also help.

But what ever you do NEVER use a silicone based lube...
They are awful... And end up really tacky within a couple mins... and makes it hurt worse than just doing it dry. >.>
My husband and I found that out the hard way while on the honeymoon. >.>

I don't have any experience with lube so I'm just basing off of what I've read - every body is different and what may work for someone may not work for someone else.
I just know that oil-based lubes aren't recommended for penetration since they can leave a coating inside the lady bits that can lead to infections.

 

[aetherene]

I have to slightly disagree here...
Coming from a person with a thinning vaginal wall and who literally suffers through sex a lot... I have gained a lot of knowledge with lube and how it feels. XP

Oil is actually really nice... It helps more than water based when it comes to ease and doesn't cause as big a mess.
I do recommend after sex or play to go pee afterwards. I know, most of the time you don't wanna get up, but it helps.
You peeing will help sterilize as well as push out whatever may have traveled up your pee hole... good way to prevent UTI's.

It is also important to find out if you like cooling or warmth.
Personally, it already feels like I am on fire when having sex, so we use a cooling lube.
My friends on the other hand... like it hot and steamy.
Changing lube based on its "effects" can also help.

But what ever you do NEVER use a silicone based lube...
They are awful... And end up really tacky within a couple mins... and makes it hurt worse than just doing it dry. >.>
My husband and I found that out the hard way while on the honeymoon. >.>

Peeing after sex is very important.

I don't like the cooling or warm lubes/condoms. Very unsettling and it does bad things to my body. I think it's the chemicals.

I don't like water based lube because they don't last very long. They need to be reapplied after a certain period of time. And then they get sticky after a while. No thank you.

I really like silicone based lube, the really good ones at least like Pink. They last for a while and only a little bit is needed. I really use it cause I usually get very dry after a while.

 

[fallenchaoskitten]

Thank you everyone for your replies. ^^ I have been looking at this thread for the past two hours or so and I was too embarrassed to ask my question but I'm glad I received so many replies!

I don't own any toys or anything. The most I have done was to rub down there but never inserted anything yet. I don't know how irrational this may be but I fear breaking my hymen, and if there's anything that I could give a boy when the time comes, I'd like him to take that away from me. ^^

I will follow the water/lube suggestions when I decide to go farther. Some of my classmates already own some toys but I don't think I'd be ready to use anything like that yet.

Hymen's are easily broken through other activities... riding a bike can even break it.
So, I wouldn't worry too much about that.

It is possible to kind-of break it but not all the way break it.
My husband was pretty rough with foreplay actions before we were married, so we thought it was already broken ((since I did bleed)) but once on the honeymoon, we quickly found out it must not have broken all the way. ^^'

And there is nothing wrong with having toys or not having toys.
It's just important to stay safe and keep things clean to prevent problems.

 

[Bearica]

Thank you everyone for your replies. ^^ I have been looking at this thread for the past two hours or so and I was too embarrassed to ask my question but I'm glad I received so many replies!

I don't own any toys or anything. The most I have done was to rub down there but never inserted anything yet. I don't know how irrational this may be but I fear breaking my hymen, and if there's anything that I could give a boy when the time comes, I'd like him to take that away from me. ^^

I will follow the water/lube suggestions when I decide to go farther. Some of my classmates already own some toys but I don't think I'd be ready to use anything like that yet.

Just make sure your first time is safe! Use protection and make sure you're well lubricated otherwise it can be very painful, especially if you've never tried inserting anything. Relaxing is a big key in comfort - if you're tense, penetration will be more difficult and painful. And make sure to lay on some towels or something because you will probably bleed the first time you have sex. Not everyone does but it's pretty common. And make sure your partner is careful and gentle, especially at first.

 

[aetherene]

Thank you everyone for your replies. ^^ I have been looking at this thread for the past two hours or so and I was too embarrassed to ask my question but I'm glad I received so many replies!

I don't own any toys or anything. The most I have done was to rub down there but never inserted anything yet. I don't know how irrational this may be but I fear breaking my hymen, and if there's anything that I could give a boy when the time comes, I'd like him to take that away from me. ^^

I will follow the water/lube suggestions when I decide to go farther. Some of my classmates already own some toys but I don't think I'd be ready to use anything like that yet.

Your hymen doesn't get broken. Just stretched out. Virginity is more of a concept so stretching your hymen a little won't make you lose it. xD

Before I had sex with my boyfriend, we fooled around a lot and I think he stretched my hymen a bit before we actually had sex. It was a lot more comfortable and didn't hurt like many people said it would. But it's your choice. Some stretching may be more comfortable for you when you do have sex for the first time.

 

[fallenchaoskitten]

Just make sure your first time is safe! Use protection and make sure you're well lubricated otherwise it can be very painful, especially if you've never tried inserting anything. Relaxing is a big key in comfort - if you're tense, penetration will be more difficult and painful. And make sure to lay on some towels or something because you will probably bleed the first time you have sex. Not everyone does but it's pretty common. And make sure your partner is careful and gentle, especially at first.

-embarrassed but wants to give tips from personal-
Basically every time I have sex it is like the first time... but even more pain because of a medical problem that is working out ((that I've said a lot so far. XP))

Here is my tips on who to "get past the pain" for first time or any time that is painful
1. foreplay... will relax you and get you ((well if you are a guy, your partner wet))
2. lube ... lots and lots and lots of lube... and if you think you have too much, use more.
and the actual insertions I recommend
3. go in a little, if it hurts, stop and wait a couple seconds for the "walls" to adjust to the new size and "pump" a few times from point back then stop... then go a little further, wait a couple seconds, pump, a little more, etc.

It takes a little longer than just going at it... But you won't be in nearly the amount of pain if you just got to it. XP