I need some advice on dealing with mi madre...

[LaserGirlFetch]

I'm gonna copypasta what I wrote elsewhere because I'm lazy, so here goes:

I'm going to be 19 this coming August and I still live under my mom's roof, which means I have rules set for me. I am A girl who keeps mainly to herself due to a tough time in high school, and I have a close group of friends online who Skype with me every night. My mom is completely okay with them because we webcam nearly every night and we have known each other for years, but recently I've made a new friend online who lives in the state above me. We will call this person Mark.

Now Mark is 22 and we really hit it off when we met over Facebook. He is into the exact same things I am, and we quickly became a great friend to have. It's an added bonus that he's super cute.

Long story short, my mom found out about Mark after going through my text messages to another friend and made me completely cut all contact with him. I had to block him on Skype and Facebook to please her. I kept him added on Steam so we could continue to communicate, but it feels wrong going behind my mom's back like this. I hate it and keeping this from her is killing me since we are very close and tell each other everything, but then again I'm legally an adult who can make my own decisions while knowing the consequences.

My friend, we will call her Mel, said to give it time and talk to my mom about it again but to keep talking to Mark. What do you all think? I don't want to lose him.

We follow each other on instagram and twitter still, as well. And we have skyped, so I know he isn't a catfish.

 

[Amykins]

Obviously your mom is being irrational. You're a legal adult and she's acting like you're 13 or something. Frankly, this is one time where I think you SHOULD go behind your mother's back. But in the long run, I'm afraid the only solution for you to live your own life is to get out on your own. Get a job, find a roommate and make your own rules.

 

[Kildor]

Talk to your mom about this. I am sure she will understand. A mother shoukd know that once a person is 19, they should be adults. Not treated like babies. Tell her that this is the first step of starting a new life as an adult. She will understand.(Probably)

 

[moka264]

As long as you aren't bringing him into her home then I don't see what the problem is. You should keep trying to convince her. If that doesn't work then move out.

 

[kite]

What kildor said, you need to talk to her. It's better to get it into her head that you're serious. Don't antagonize her because she may do it, so no need for it from both sides. Just be patient too. Really patient. It'll take a while, not just in a day.

Your relationship sounds just like my younger sister's. Communicating on Steam, etc. Personally, my mom was totally against my younger sister dating a guy (because she thinks my sister is as naive as a child). But eventually, after all the lecturing she gave my sis, she became a little more lenient. My sis met the guy over the net, and he lives in the next state over. We've met already since he's visited (he's a bit younger than her, to my surprise). Meeting his mom when he visited also helped my mom like him a little more, but he still hasn't won her over lol. But it was his personality, not the dating aspect. So yeah, maybe if he visited as well, it may help her like him better.

Also, it's perfectly normal to still live at home with your parents. It's different for every family.

 

[Amykins]

Talk to your mom about this. I am sure she will understand. A mother shoukd know that once a person is 19, they should be adults. Not treated like babies. Tell her that this is the first step of starting a new life as an adult. She will understand.(Probably)

Not if she's ANYTHING like my mom, she won't. Let's look at the facts, she snooped through her adult daughter's cell phone text messages, flipped out and instantly made her block this guy on all of the media she could think of.

Do you really think just sitting her down and talking things out is gonna make her understand?

 

[kite]

Not if she's ANYTHING like my mom, she won't. Let's look at the facts, she snooped through her adult daughter's cell phone text messages, flipped out and instantly made her block this guy on all of the media she could think of.

Do you really think just sitting her down and talking things out is gonna make her understand?

You'll be surprised at what communicating can do for people.

Anyway, it's up to the OP to decide what advice to take, not us.

 

[KarlaKGB]

Talk to your mother.

 

[Kildor]

Not if she's ANYTHING like my mom, she won't. Let's look at the facts, she snooped through her adult daughter's cell phone text messages, flipped out and instantly made her block this guy on all of the media she could think of.

Do you really think just sitting her down and talking things out is gonna make her understand?

If talking people out of suicide is possible, then what makes you think that she can't convince her mother? It is up to the OP,but the best way to handle this situation is not hiding,but to settle this as a mature adult.

 

[Chessa]

You are an adult, you can talk to whoever you want :O rules are ok to a certain point but telling you who you should or shouldn't talk to is just weird.
And she doesn't have to know everything, being an adult is also about having your own life, I bet your mother also has things she won't share with you so there is nothing wrong with keeping some things to yourself, you're not a little kid anymore