A Sonnet for Unicorn Day!

D1llon

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Unicorn Day did sound a little bit silly, but we need some more contribution and activity. The last post I saw was of two ghetto girls fighting each other, and even when that gave me some entertainment it was still questioned.

Anyway we need some more enthusiasm! and need to lower our expectations! and raise our tolerance!

But on the sonnet, I am starting to get into them. I want to join my school's literary magazine because, well it needs help. It has been taken over by scene kids and has too much teen angst in it. Sonnets on the other hand are what I believe to be, more formal and technical. I am just starting out on sonnets and I did this just today, no one except myself proof-read it, and this is only the second sonnet I have written....and the only turn I really know of write know in the sestant is to scold your topic, so yes there is some angst in there.

tl;dr: nope you gotta read it....

Of the Unicorn

Yes! A rigid horn perched on thee?s crown.
Rarely seen and what a beautiful sign,
Oh unicorn you are roundly divine.
Golden yellow, pearly white, olive brown,
The glorious creatures paint the woods ?round!
Hearing graceful gallops that intertwine,
I wish a palpable pony were mine?
For now she must remain where she is bound.
Laughter-loving unicorn, I?m wary.
How a figure of beauty could be taunting?
Do you really exist outside my mind?
Because nothing matches thee, makes me query.
My trite thoughts continue to be daunting.
Alas, I shall continue to love thee,
And you too TBT!


Happy Unicorn day! :)
 
Pretty good! And I like that you got into the spirit of Unicorn Day. However, in the first line, "thee's" is just awkward wording. I might recommend thy. And each line should be 10 syllables, which is annoying to do, but not all of them are. But overall, you did a good job :)
 
It's funny how all the noobs are taking Unicorn day seriously...
 
Pretty good! And I like that you got into the spirit of Unicorn Day. However, in the first line, "thee's" is just awkward wording. I might recommend thy. And each line should be 10 syllables, which is annoying to do, but not all of them are. But overall, you did a good job :)
Thanks! and I see what you mean about the "thee". I still need to work on a better transition for the turning point in the sonnet and the change of tone in the sestet. Also, I didn't think anyone would notice the 10 syllables thing XD


It's funny how all the noobs are taking Unicorn day seriously...
I think the more noobish person would be the one that still doesn't understand that submitting a useless and un-constructional post just makes yourself look bad.
 
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