What do you think people are excessively offended by?

pumpkins said:

i guess it's nice they were being nice. they could have said something horrible.

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I wanted something horrible...kidding.. No I wanted an honest answer, those comments were just missing the point.

Like for instance, you are in a bad situation, you failed your class, you are sick and have no money to pay the bills or even food and just try to find solution and your Christmas aunt that barely knows you just says "but you are so brillant and wonderful"...mkay...
Or another example, when someone is breaking up, you have always someone to say they will find 10 others lovers and that person didn't deserve them after all and blablabla...is it what they really want to hear?
Or worse, in case of people with serious illness, like cancer for instance, there are always people to try to cheer them the wrong way.

The Christmas aunt tries to be nice, of course, but often it's not helping at all and after a while it's frankly annoying and telling people who tried to be nice to shut up in a very polite way excessively offend them because they can't imagine that what they are doing can be perceived as wrong.

Anything to do with gender, sexuality or race.

Javocado said:

the color yellow

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yellow is mY TRIGGER WORD!1!1!!!11

anything related to fandom

Aniko said:

anything related to fandom

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Imo I think the only tolerable fandom for a tv show is the Gravity Falls fandom.

It's nice that an awesome show doesn't have such a crap fandom for once.

people overreact way too dramatically when someone insults a celebrity or singer they're obsessed with

Some people (tumblr) get way too offended when someone doesn't agree with their headcanons. If I had a dollar for everytime I've seen:

"Friendly reminder that all the characters are gay, trans, othekin, disabled, autistic, overweight, poc!!! and if you don't agree with me im going to send you death threats and doxx you!!! sorry i dont make the rules uwu"

I would be a millionaire.

I accidentally called my friend by feminine pronouns, but it didnt feel right so i asked what their pronouns were immediately after i made the mistake. Another got offended by that and jumped in/started yelling at me. The person i was talking to in the 1st place was totally cool with it and answered my question calmly.

mother of all llamas said:

When people get offended because you got their pronouns incorrect and they attack you for it, FFS.

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yeah because that's called misgendering which is transphobic! people are going to get angry if you misgender them, it's a really rude thing to do!

flightedbird said:

Everything on Tumblr. If you want to see people get offended by absolutely useless and harmless crap, go on Tumblr.

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huhhh? i've been on tumblr for years now and the only people i've seen that get offended by everything are the trolls.

sakura miku said:

yeah because that's called misgendering which is transphobic! people are going to get angry if you misgender them, it's a really rude thing to do!

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If you don't do it on purpose and apologize right after, is there a need to be utterly offended? People misgender me often and I don't get mad for that, I don't think it's insulting to be called him, her, their (or whatever), we should just call everybody the same, end of the problem, but right, there are people more sensitive than others. Ok if it happens 10 times a day...

huhhh? i've been on tumblr for years now and the only people i've seen that get offended by everything are the trolls.

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We are not on the same Tumblr then and I don't think they are all trolls.

tumblr ;^)

fenris said:

Trans people existing. Holy wow, people get bent out of shape about people like me just trying to live.

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sakura miku said:

yeah because that's called misgendering which is transphobic! people are going to get angry if you misgender them, it's a really rude thing to do!

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And these two quotes show why I started this thread folks. One person is worrying about his/her/their/its safety from crazy rednecks who hate his/her/their/its very existence and the other is worried about being called the correct pronoun and then proceeds to call people who screw up pronouns transphobic. I think the terms sexist, racist, homophobic, transphobic etc. should be reserved for people who actually hate people who are different than them and think they are second-class citizens and in extreme cases are willing to assault or kill people who are different. People who say dumb things about other people don't need to be called sexist/ racist/ homophobic/ transphobic. We have words like stupid, rude, and a**hole for them. When people liberally throw around words like transphobic to describe people who irritate them, the meaning of the word gets watered down and people lose sight of the real issues that transgender people face like being the victims of assault / murder, not having rights, and having a very high suicide rate.

Red Cat said:

And these two quotes show why I started this thread folks. One person is worrying about his/her/their/its safety from crazy rednecks who hate his/her/their/its very existence and the other is worried about being called the correct pronoun and then proceeds to call people who screw up pronouns transphobic. I think the terms sexist, racist, homophobic, transphobic etc. should be reserved for people who actually hate people who are different than them and think they are second-class citizens and in extreme cases are willing to assault or kill people who are different. People who say dumb things about other people don't need to be called sexist/ racist/ homophobic/ transphobic. We have words like stupid and a**hole for them. When people liberally throw around words like transphobic to describe people who irritate them, the meaning of the word gets watered down and people lose sight of the real issues that transgender people face like being the victims of assault / murder, not having rights, and having a very high suicide rate.

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Okay but if someone says something that's transphobic while not "looking down on them like a second-class citizens" their actions should still be called out as transphobic. It's the same with racism/homophobia/etc. too.

Of course that doesn't apply when someone accidentally calls someone the wrong pronouns but anyways. I really don't think it's a cisgender's person's place to classify what the "real issues are" and what "should be focussed on" in regards to transphobia.

Wow that's a lot of quotation marks

Red Cat said:

When people liberally throw around words like transphobic to describe people who irritate them, the meaning of the word gets watered down and people lose sight of the real issues that transgender people face like being the victims of assault / murder, not having rights, and having a very high suicide rate.

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cisgender people trying to tell transpeople what is and isn't transphobic is hilarious honestly, and it never ceases to amaze me how often they try to do it.

nvll said:

Okay but if someone says something that's transphobic while not "looking down on them like a second-class citizens" their actions should still be called out as transphobic. It's the same with racism/homophobia/etc. too.

Of course that doesn't apply when someone accidentally calls someone the wrong pronouns but anyways. I really don't think it's a cisgender's person's place to classify what the "real issues are" and what "should be focussed on" in regards to transphobia.

Wow that's a lot of quotation marks

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I looked up a definition for transphobia and I found this one on http://www.oxforddictionaries.com :

Definition of transphobia in English:
noun

Intense dislike of or prejudice against transsexual or transgender people:

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I don't know if this is the best definition of the word, but it sounds reasonable to me. So does calling a transgender person the wrong pronoun really show an "intense dislike of or prejudice against transsexual or transgender people"? I don't think so. It may be rude or inappropriate at worst, but it's not transphobic. Making threats to people who are transgender because they are transgender is transphobic, but making fun of Caitlyn Jenner is not. All I'm trying to argue is that a little perspective should be used when deciding if something someone says is transphobic.

taesaek said:

cisgender people trying to tell transpeople what is and isn't transphobic is hilarious honestly, and it never ceases to amaze me how often they try to do it.

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The reality is that well over 99% of people are not transgender and if people who are transgender make a big deal out of pronouns, the other 99% are not going to be very receptive their cause and the bigger issues will not get resolved. That's not me being biased against transgender people, that's reality.

Lol using dictionary definitions as an argument.
Hostility towards trans people for being trans people is being transphobic. If you're intentionally misgendering someone, it is hostility towards transgender people, and is therefore transphobic. If you are making fun of Caitlyn Jenner in a way that attacks her being trans, you're being transphobic.

Red Cat said:

The reality is that well over 99% of people are not transgender

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This is literally a number you and many others have pulled out your ass, there is no way to tell how much of the world is transgender, gay, bi, or pansexual because there are so many closeted people and so many people still finding themselves that it's impossible to know.

"1% of the population is transgender" is bull and shame on you for using it as a threat, like that's pretty nasty dude.

nvll said:

Lol using dictionary definitions as an argument.
Hostility towards trans people for being trans people is being transphobic. If you're intentionally misgendering someone, it is hostility towards transgender people, and is therefore transphobic. If you are making fun of Caitlyn Jenner in a way that attacks her being trans, you're being transphobic.



This is literally a number you and many others have pulled out your ass, there is no way to tell how much of the world is transgender, gay, bi, or pansexual because there are so many closeted people and so many people still finding themselves that it's impossible to know.

"1% of the population is transgender" is bull and shame on you for using it as a threat, like that's pretty nasty dude.

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I don't want this to become a flame war with personal insults. I could very well be off with my 99% number, but I think with a lot of confidence the percentage of people who are transgender is less than 5 percent (if it were larger there would likely be a lot more awareness and support for the cause because more people would know someone who is transgender). The entire LGBT community is probably somewhere around 10%. It is delusional to think that the world is not dominated by (numerically) heterosexual cisgendered people. Given that reality, people of the LGBT community have to be careful about what they expect of the rest of the population. If they are seen as demanding to much, that feeds into the homophobic / transphobic narrative that the LGBT community is trying to dictate how the rest of society behaves. Whether that is fair or not, that is what happens. I really do believe in equality for all people, but in order to achieve that, sometimes you have to know which battles to fight. Heterosexual cisgendered people have to listen to the concerns of the LGBT community, but the LGBT community also has to listen to the concerns of heterosexual cisgendered people or else equality will not happen. It has to be a two-way street.

So does calling a transgender person the wrong pronoun really show an "intense dislike of or prejudice against transsexual or transgender people"? I don't think so.

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If you do it on purpose with the intention to harm the person, yes it is. Once I was watching a political debate and the person who wanted to make her point deliberately called her opponent "Mister" with a nasty smile when the person right in front of her was clearly a woman. That's transphobic.

In some gay pride event, they (not sure who) wanted to ban drag queens because transphobic, now I wonder...
Should we call them sexist and misogynistic as well? I don't think so IMO...Their point is not to harm people, they are entertainers.

I never disagreed that the majority of the world is straight/cisgender so I don't know what you're getting at there, but there's absolutely no way to slap a number on it because again, a huge amount of people are closeted and for a good reason.

But saying the transgender community has to focus on bigger issues like the suicide rate but then saying they should play down the "smaller" issues that contribute to the suicide rate is pretty... counterproductive.

And a genuine question: what concerns of heterosexual and cisgender people are supposed to be listened to exactly?
"I messed up your pronouns and you got dysphoric, you shouldn't do that around me because my feelings are more important"
"I called you the f slur but I didn't mean it in a bad way, so your feelings shouldn't be hurt"
"I know I called you a tr*nny which is a term that has led people to kill themselves, but I don't HATE transgender people so I'm not transphobic, you can't just throw around that word"
"I don't like gay dudes but I LOVE watching lesbians! That's not homophobic because I said I love them and I'm totally not disrespecting or fetishizing an entire group of people"

- - - Post Merge - - -

Aniko said:

If you do it on purpose with the intention to harm the person, yes it is. Once I was watching a political debate and the person who wanted to make her point deliberately called her opponent "Mister" with a nasty smile when the person right in front of her was clearly a woman. That's transphobic.

In some gay pride event, they (not sure who) wanted to ban drag queens because transphobic, now I wonder...
Should we call them sexist and misogynistic as well? I don't think so IMO...Their point is not to harm people, they are entertainers.

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I don't think drag queens are transphobic but I do see how they can contribute to people thinking that trans women are just drag queens or men in dresses so while they can breed transphobia, they themselves aren't transphobic.

Aniko said:

If you do it on purpose with the intention to harm the person, yes it is. Once I was watching a political debate and the person who wanted to make her point deliberately called her opponent "Mister" with a nasty smile when the person right in front of her was clearly a woman. That's transphobic.

In some gay pride event, they (not sure who) wanted to ban drag queens because transphobic, now I wonder...
Should we call them sexist and misogynistic as well? I don't think so IMO...Their point is not to harm people, they are entertainers.

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I wouldn't call the debate thing transphobic unless the person was actually trans. Sounds to me like the person was just an *******.

nvll said:

"1% of the population is transgender" is bull and shame on you for using it as a threat, like that's pretty nasty dude.

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How is it used as a threat lmao

I think people are far too worked up over pronouns, especially those who use the nontraditional ones like xe, ze, for, etc.

The majority of the world is cis. The majority of people in the English-speaking world have grown up knowing two gendered pronouns, he and she. It's difficult enough for people to get used to using they as a pronoun for some people, and now there's these pronouns that people don't even know how to pronounce?

You can't get mad at cis people who don't instantly understand.