Dear Chesus,
I would like to write to you about your beaniest baggiest child and his outstanding performance in his coursework. He is greatly outperforming his other peers and shows rapid growth in his chosen field. He’s actually done so well that he broke our grading system, as we felt his perfect testing scores deserved more than just an “A++++”. Many other beanbags have also actually dropped out because they felt they could never amount to be even half of the genius that your son is. He’s so slay that professors weep in joy when they see him on their class roster. Like, genuine tears in their eyes. Due to these reasons, Beeboo will actually not need any more credits to graduate because his energy is just that amazing. Congratulations to him for graduating early after literally one class assignment!
Sincerely,
his turnt prophecy professor