Loves: InuYasha, Downton Abbey, Only Murders in the Building, King of Queens, Ranma 1/2, Modern Family, Impractical Jokers, and RuPaul’s Drag Race.

"Sequester-- I like that word. It makes house arrest sound classy."


The poem catches you staring. At first, it trembles, its inky organs twisting and throbbing in terror. You look away. Once you salvage the strength to turn back, its grimy claws have already plunged through your eyes.

Shadows twinkle as icy pale bones crumble into dust. The orange glare of the flame blurs my vision as they pour them into jars— soul by soul. I clank forward. If I had a heart, here’s where it would pound. When the rain falls, all my steel joints do is rust, rust, rus….

Deep in the luminous darkness, stars blossom into roses of blue-white light. They ripple as if they are breathing. Crescents of frost trickle across my warm skin, but I prefer to think they are petals of light, pulses of night, halos of stardust.

"What is that?"

"It's called a trucker hat," Beatriz explained, "I can't wait to wear it to the banquet!"

"No more stealing from the future! When you're burned at the stake- yes I said when- do you really want it over a hat?!"

"It'll make a fine urn!"


Miss Kwak sighed and slammed the phone into the small round table until it throbbed. "What's wrong?" asked her friend. " 'We'll wash anything!' boasts the power-washing company, only to hang up when I request they wash my crusty kid."


I always wished my father was a prizefighter," Ida said, fanning herself, "So much more exciting than a steel executive."

"And I wish your friend wasn't chanting 'Italia' at the TV." "But it's the Olympics! Isn't he supposed to?"

"Not at the Olive Garden commercial!"
April 17
Ye Olde Cobra Neste