I need relationship advice

I need help, guys.

So, I know this goose. We've been seeing each other quite often, as she lives in a nearby pond, and I ride past her twice everyday. We've had a good thing going until a week or two ago. She may have laid eggs recently, and all of a sudden she doesn't trust me anymore. I mean, what did I do? I feel like our relationship was built on trust and mutual respect, but now whenever I go near her she tells me to go away.

I thought this would all blow over, but lately this GANDER I've never met has been hanging out with her all the time. He's obviously more attractive than I am, and he intimidates me. I've wanted to talk to her to try and work things out, but she tells me just to stay aware from her and her new friend. I don't understand what I've done to make her just lose trust in me and just completely shut me out of her life.

Our relationship is falling apart, and I don't know how to save it. What can I do?

Give her doritos

I don't know, man. Up your game. Fluff your feathers. Do something. Don't let the goose of your dreams slip from your grasp. Gander up and go for it. Tell her exactly how you feel.

Quality thread right here.

Okay here is some step by step instructions:
1. Make sure she knows you aren't a threat. Everytime you see her for 3 days, Shout "IT'S OKAY! I'M A VEGAN!" really loudly.
2. Take care of the eggs. Steal them one by one, keep them alive, and show her how good you are at it.
3. "Lose" one of the eggs and go on an adventure to find it. A ROMANTIC adventure
4. If you aren't married by now idk

stupid double post fml

Micah said:

Quality thread right here.

Click to expand...

Man I got a warning for saying that once.


And if she likes somebody else, then let it go. Because if you like somebody, you truly want the bet for them even if you're not that special person

Gracelia said:

Give her doritos

Click to expand...

Is she a 19 year old Korean gamer teen?

Attack a human, that'll show her your tough side.

Easy. Kill the gander.

Sorry, I only have experience in ducks, but theyre the same thing anyway

You need to take that gander and remove his tail feathers. He'll be about as attractive as a brick