LGBTQA - Discussion and support.

Shimmer · Nov 20, 2015

oath2order said:
I think it's just because it seems like an unnecessary label. Most people tend to feel sexual attraction after romantic bonds, therefore, the label just seems useless.

There was this guy I liked and he liked me back. We tried to go out but when he asked if we could have sex after only a few weeks of dating, I told him I wasn't ready and that it was too soon since I didn't have a strong connection with him yet. He thought that was the weirdest concept ever since he could have sex with anyone he thought was hot without forming a bond with them.

Things like that are why I think it's a worthwhile label.

oath2order · Nov 20, 2015

Shimmer said:
There was this guy I liked and he liked me back. We tried to go out but when he asked if we could have sex after only a few weeks of dating, I told him I wasn't ready and that it was too soon since I didn't have a strong connection with him yet. He thought that was the weirdest concept ever since he could have sex with anyone he thought was hot without forming a bond with them.

Things like that are why I think it's a worthwhile label.

Well I still think it's a nonsense label but you do you.

boujee · Nov 20, 2015

If demisexuaity is just as credible then so is sapiosexiality, an equally pretentious label that means 'attraction to smart people'

tae · Nov 20, 2015

oath2order said:
I think it's just because it seems like an unnecessary label. Most people tend to feel sexual attraction after romantic bonds, therefore, the label just seems useless.

i agree with this, the whole demisexual thing always made me kind of **** my head to the side and go "why???" i don't think it's needed.. i mean, like o2o said.

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Gamzee said:
If demisexuaity is just as credible then so is sapiosexiality, an equally pretentious label that means 'attraction to smart people'

this this this this bless you gamzee.

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Shimmer said:
There was this guy I liked and he liked me back. We tried to go out but when he asked if we could have sex after only a few weeks of dating, I told him I wasn't ready and that it was too soon since I didn't have a strong connection with him yet. He thought that was the weirdest concept ever since he could have sex with anyone he thought was hot without forming a bond with them.

Things like that are why I think it's a worthwhile label.

okay but just because some people are okay with sleeping around without a bond, doesn't mean those who have regular feelings for needing a bond with someone to have sexual relation with them to have a label for it... i mean, i don't sleep with my partners on the first date, hell sometimes it takes months? but it doesn't mean i'm demisexual, i just want to /know/ who i'm sleeping with before i do. lol.

Vida · Nov 20, 2015

Demisexuality is a term created by the Internet. What people describe as "demisexual", as in feeling sexual attraction only to people who you share a deep bond with, is actually on the ordinary spectrum of sexual expression. It is not a sexual orientation in itself. I want to stress that I don't care what you identify as. I could call myself rainbowsexual if I felt like it. But claiming it to be a sexual orientation in itself is a totally different story.

gem83 · Nov 20, 2015

Eh, some people feel better if they have a label for themselves. I know I do. (Which is why it drives me crazy that I still haven't figured out what my gender actually is other than not-cis ughhhh)

radical6 · Nov 20, 2015

Shimmer said:
There was this guy I liked and he liked me back. We tried to go out but when he asked if we could have sex after only a few weeks of dating, I told him I wasn't ready and that it was too soon since I didn't have a strong connection with him yet. He thought that was the weirdest concept ever since he could have sex with anyone he thought was hot without forming a bond with them.

Things like that are why I think it's a worthwhile label.

A lot of people actually think the whole concept of virginity is important, and that you should only have sex with people you're connected deeply with. I would say thinking that "you could have sex with anyone hot" is an unlikely thing in most people. What you experience is completely normal.

Really though, one of these days AVEN is gonna rip this community apart. These people are in their 30s and preaching to a younger, misinformed LGBT generation. They're telling bisexuals that lesbians and gays are evil, and that people who have sex are dirty.

They're using their academia to cause a divide. They know what they're doing.

They don't give a **** though. It makes them money. As long as they make money, they will continue to write more bull**** and preach at Harvard.

I absolutely hate them. Erica Moen. Shiri Erser. God, these women are so obnoxious it hurts. I don't understand how anyone can read their bull****.

Alienfish · Nov 21, 2015

justice said:
A lot of people actually think the whole concept of virginity is important, and that you should only have sex with people you're connected deeply with. I would say thinking that "you could have sex with anyone hot" is an unlikely thing in most people. What you experience is completely normal.

Jesus, those people are so bs. I won't go deep into my woohoo experiences and stuff here cause it's a kid's site, but still these things differ and while I don't per se need a romantic bond with all its cheese and chocolate I do need some trust for reasons.

Also I cut your post off for space but I agree, those people are too much and misinformed.. I checked out that AVEN website and I'm just like.. no.

Trundle · Nov 21, 2015

gem83 said:
Eh, some people feel better if they have a label for themselves. I know I do. (Which is why it drives me crazy that I still haven't figured out what my gender actually is other than not-cis ughhhh)

If you go through life not solely thinking about your gender as your #1 priority then you'll find it along the way. Let it come to you. A lot of the time when you are looking for things, you will find what you are not looking for at all.

emolga · Nov 21, 2015

Is it ignorant to be sort of uncomfortable with certain pronouns? I respect things like she/her, he/him, they/them, etc. but I feel like those certain otherkin pronouns (Things like bun/bunself) don't really seem like valid genders. Sorry if this is super controversial, I just wanted to know because it's sort of been bothering me lately.

Knopekin · Nov 21, 2015

I really find it hard to identify with the 'queer' community and really don't like that word, partly because I grew up in Britain in the 90's (I know we should be reclaiming labels and all that but), but also because of lots of the attitudes and how political it is. I don't want to tear down society and the concept of family and hate on the mainstream for oppressing me, I just want to be able to get on with my life and maybe marry a girl one day.

One particular segment that grinds my gears is the poly community, because they're all about the queer label, and lots of them look down on people who want monogamous relationships because they're obviously jealous and possessive if they're not okay with their partner sleeping around.

Full disclosure: my partner of 4 years decided she 'was polyamorous' (seemingly unable to grasp the concept that pretty much everyone has attractions to other people when they're in a relationship, you just don't act on them if you respect your partner at all) and left me for my best friend. Still not over it.

Gregriii · Nov 21, 2015

You can like boys, girls, both or none

Things like saposexuality or demisexuality should be considered fetishism's rather than sexualities IMO

gem83 · Nov 21, 2015

emolga said:
Is it ignorant to be sort of uncomfortable with certain pronouns? I respect things like she/her, he/him, they/them, etc. but I feel like those certain otherkin pronouns (Things like bun/bunself) don't really seem like valid genders. Sorry if this is super controversial, I just wanted to know because it's sort of been bothering me lately.

I'm with you. Imo otherkin is not a gender. I once saw someone who identified as "scott pilgrim fictionkin" like ok I'm sorry but there is no way you are Scott Pilgrim born into the wrong body that's not how this works. I understand some people use it as a coping device, but even so. I mean I guess I'd still have to use their pronouns though

Don't get me wrong I don't have a problem with otherkin people at all I mean do whatever makes you happy I don't care but I just don't see it as a true gender if that makes any sense...?

visibleghost · Nov 21, 2015

emolga said:
Is it ignorant to be sort of uncomfortable with certain pronouns? I respect things like she/her, he/him, they/them, etc. but I feel like those certain otherkin pronouns (Things like bun/bunself) don't really seem like valid genders. Sorry if this is super controversial, I just wanted to know because it's sort of been bothering me lately.

i don't think the otherkin pronouns are supposed to be genders or even gendered?? they're gender neutral pronouns that are centered around the kintype instead of gender i think ;;

Alienfish · Nov 21, 2015

Gregriii said:
You can like boys, girls, both or none

Things like saposexuality or demisexuality should be considered fetishism's rather than sexualities IMO

sapo, i can get your point but tbh demi doesn't necessarily need to be a fetish(mainly since it's tied to feelings rather than a philia/object/practice/etc.)

then if a label is needed or not could probably make an interesting debate, but if people seriously feel this way, why not.

Sugilite · Nov 21, 2015

emolga said:
Is it ignorant to be sort of uncomfortable with certain pronouns? I respect things like she/her, he/him, they/them, etc. but I feel like those certain otherkin pronouns (Things like bun/bunself) don't really seem like valid genders. Sorry if this is super controversial, I just wanted to know because it's sort of been bothering me lately.

I'll have to disagree/agree on the pronouns
I still find it dumb to have pronouns for things this describes a characteristic/preference
Like pm everyone could be consider themselves demi since everybody gets in a relationship with someone they have a bond with unless you're a ho or just desperate to fill in a void. Same with liking someone smart that's a perference same as if I'm saying I like girls with big t*tties. That doesn't make me bigtittiesecxuslothic, but just someone who likes boobs
Tumblr is just a mess just trying to spread things like the whole world knows when in reality they don't
Same with this gender topic
They/them pronouns I still don't understand and the people I ask don't understand, hopefully someone breaks that ish down and not sound like a tumblrin and open up my mindset cause rn I'm still alien towards it

When I thought about female and male pronouns I believe it was something to help know who's who
Like oh that's a girl and that's a boy, you just know. And sometimes it's not gender stereotypes either to classify someone in. Some girls are ugly and you still know and some boys are cute but you still know. But they/them only seems "acceptable" on the interest cause it's in someone bio and you just know. But how is that going to work in real compared to the billions of other people who is not going to sit down and talk to you? Like is it a certain way they dress to know or how they look? Because back to my point people are going to go by how you look and determine it

I don't see how you're neutral when it was words for people who dress how ever they want opposing to what they wear
I can go on and on about gender cause it's dumb
Some girl on her prefers male pronouns, their not trans acting but they believe their body is male
It might be cool for people on the internet but if you're faking your pictures that you're male and going by that mindset that you're male and you're dating someone who thinks you're actually a boy and y'all meet up don't start acting sjw like and get mad when they drag you and see a girl in their eyes

visibleghost · Nov 21, 2015

Sugilite said:
I'll have to disagree/agree on the pronouns
I still find it dumb to have pronouns for things this describes a characteristic/preference
Like pm everyone could be consider themselves demi since everybody gets in a relationship with someone they have a bond with unless you're a ho or just desperate to fill in a void. Same with liking someone smart that's a perference same as if I'm saying I like girls with big t*tties. That doesn't make me bigtittiesecxuslothic, but just someone who likes boobs
Tumblr is just a mess just trying to spread things like the whole world knows when in reality they don't
Same with this gender topic
They/them pronouns I still don't understand and the people I ask don't understand, hopefully someone breaks that ish down and not sound like a tumblrin and open up my mindset cause rn I'm still alien towards it

When I thought about female and male pronouns I believe it was something to help know who's who
Like oh that's a girl and that's a boy, you just know. And sometimes it's not gender stereotypes either to classify someone in. Some girls are ugly and you still know and some boys are cute but you still know. But they/them only seems "acceptable" on the interest cause it's in someone bio and you just know. But how is that going to work in real compared to the billions of other people who is not going to sit down and talk to you? Like is it a certain way they dress to know or how they look? Because back to my point people are going to go by how you look and determine it

I don't see how you're neutral when it was words for people who dress how ever they want opposing to what they wear
I can go on and on about gender cause it's dumb
Some girl on her prefers male pronouns, their not trans acting but they believe their body is male
It might be cool for people on the internet but if you're faking your pictures that you're male and going by that mindset that you're male and you're dating someone who thinks you're actually a boy and y'all meet up don't start acting sjw like and get mad when they drag you and see a girl in their eyes

what
are you talking about trans people in the last part????

Alienfish · Nov 21, 2015

There's a difference between bond and/or actual romantic relationship statues, just saying that so people can have valid reasons for calling themselves what they do.

Also having sex without a relation is not "being a ho"...

Them/they is mostly used if they want a gender-neutral pronoun and doesn't like being called he/she etc.

Also simply dressing in drag/cross-dressing is one aspect but it hardly applies to everyone.. not everyone is gay AND trans and if you crossdress or not doesn't really apply to your sexuality(even if there are a lot of people within the community that do it, of course).

Also why would people fake being trans? That last part was so dumb tbh.

Sugilite · Nov 21, 2015

lencurryboy said:
what
are you talking about trans people in the last part????

No, I'm saying if someone as like a male structure or female structure who are transition to what they are destined to be then people can see where they start taking these pronouns from

But if you're a girl who believes you are a boy
And believes you're body is a boy going through what you think mentally then it's a problem

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Moko said:
There's a difference between bond and/or actual romantic relationship statues, just saying that so people can have valid reasons for calling themselves what they do.

Also having sex without a relation is not "being a ho"...

Them/they is mostly used if they want a gender-neutral pronoun and doesn't like being called he/she etc.

Also simply dressing in drag/cross-dressing is one aspect but it hardly applies to everyone.. not everyone is gay AND trans and if you crossdress or not doesn't really apply to your sexuality(even if there are a lot of people within the community that do it, of course).

Also why would people fake being trans? That last part was so dumb tbh.

I never said anyone was faking being trans but ok

visibleghost · Nov 21, 2015

Sugilite said:
No, I'm saying if someone as like a male structure or female structure who are transition to what they are destined to be then people can see where they start taking these pronouns from

But if you're a girl who believes you are a boy
And believes you're body is a boy going through what you think mentally then it's a problem

what
your body doesn't determine your gender. if someone identifies as a gender, they are that gender. i don't really understand what you mean

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