Break ups

hi all,

generally i dont (or try not to) post a lot about my personal life. i was trying to find the 'how do you get over a break up' thread, but couldn't seem to find it. not sure if it was closed or not.

today my partner of a little over 2 years and i broke up.
i feel heart broken, im absolutely empty, and i know that its good because i can start working on myself and what i need to do w/ myself but it sucks.
it truly sucks, i feel like im dying. i hate having to deal with my feelings, and the sense of comfort i had this morning laying in bed with my partner and feeling their warmth--well, thinking about it now-- is bringing me to tears.
i feel like i needed this (i know i also wanted this) but now that its all said and done, im heart broken, lost, i want to go back to them for comfort
(
that is all

you could share things you do that get things off your mind??

Love comes in many different forms. I know people who lived their whole life without a partner in their lives, but were happy to live and die without ever settling down with someone. It's not because they never found love. They found love in so many other things in life.

So, my advice to you, would be to just look for love in other places. You won't always find it in a man.

Bowie said:

Love comes in many different forms. I know people who lived their whole life without a partner in their lives, but were happy to live and die without ever settling down with someone. It's not because they never found love. They found love in so many other things in life.

So, my advice to you, would be to just look for love in other places. You won't always find it in a man.

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Thank you

This may be stating the obvious, but it works.

The best way to get over someone, is to find someone else.

It doesn't have to be Mr Right.. more of a Mr Right Now. ^_^

I wish you and your broken heart, a speedy recovery. ^_^

Break ups and heart break are some of the most painful feelings imaginable. However, they're also some of the greatest lessons and trials in growing stronger as a person. I've been through quite a few, and after every time, after that stabbing feeling of heartache, I grew stronger from it. This, along with everything else painful in life, is like that sequence in the movie Wanted where the main character (forgot his name sorry) goes through these painful fights and trials when he decides to join the assassins to toughen up. By the time he's done, he's sharper than ever before. Sadly, it takes jabbing pains to learn the best.

What are these lessons to be learned exactly? Depends on what happened in the relationship, firstly. You learn in the end what not to do next time, or maybe how to feel or treat the other, or how to deal with the other treating you. Secondly, overcoming those events. You become emotionally stronger. You may even feel more adult and maybe even a little badass from learning from a painful experience. So in the end, you have an easier time in your future experiences.

I'm not great at explaining things, I guess I'm mostly drawing from personal experiences. But that's the best thing from learning from a painful experience: teaching others what you've learned in hopes of it helping them the way you wished you were helped through it all.

Since you asked what we do to get our mind of things like break ups, just going to the gym personally. I think any form of self improvement works. It's okay to feel sad, that's human. But don't let yourself get stuck either

Nuclear Bingo said:

Since you asked what we do to get our mind of things like break ups, just going to the gym personally. I think any form of self improvement works. It's okay to feel sad, that's human. But don't let yourself get stuck either

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Yeah I agree with this.

Whenever my sisters would come to me because their boyfriends recently left them I’d tell them “work on yourself. Take this time to find who you are as an individual”. One of them always refuses to take my advise and she would end up being stuck in the heartbreak while my other sister would take my advise and she would find out so much about herself that she eventually moves on. (They are twins. Twin A accepts my advise while Twin B doesn’t.) Twin A found out she had a great singing voice that she decided to join choir and found happiness in that. It made it easier for her to move on, and she was able to improve on her voice work. Now she doesn’t want to do it as a career but it made her happy and she was able to work on herself without worrying about what had happened. Twin B was stuck in the sadness for a really long time because she lingered on “what did I do wrong?” “What can I do to make him want me again?” And so on. Which made her neglect her family and she became obsessed with the idea of “how can I win him back?” When she saw that her twin had moved on it made her very angry and felt like it wasn’t fair that she was suffering while Twin A was back on her feet. After a while she got into another relationship and felt like he was suppose to make her happy.. when honestly we shouldn’t link our happiness to other people.. Happiness should come from ourselves and the things we do. Yes it’s ok to link it but for them to be the only source of happiness can actually be very hurtful later on.. Like PP (previous poster) said, it’s ok to feel sad, it’s a human emotion.. But i do agree that self improvement really does help.
In personal experience I’ve done the same as Twin B, where I would link my happiness to a boyfriend and make them my happiness and honestly it made my depression worse when they were gone. I didn’t know what to do with myself nor did I feel happy with myself. I wish I took my own advise when it came to that, I wish I focused on drawing more than “how to win him back”. I’m married now, but I do have my moments of depression and how I handle it is by distractions or talking it out. When I distract myself I do it by reading, writing, drawing, or even talking to my pets or son. Pets do really help. It’s just the listening ear without speaking is what helps me out. But I mean, I know it must be hard and I’m sorry. I hope you find your happiness < everyone deserves to be happy.

^ Agreed, that too! Improving yourself inside and/or outside helps get through tough times dramatically.
Plus I remember getting fit over the summer just to get back at an ex in high school when school started again, and BOOOY did it work xD

But seriously, I guarantee you this helps.