life is kind of a mess for me right now and I feel like I'm drowning. I could really use some kind words tbh, at this point even if they're empty.
My mom has aggressive breast cancer, her surgery was a month ago but it didn't help. She had a port put in her chest yesterday and starts chemo tomorrow. She is really upset and I don't know what to do, I feel so tiny and helpless.
Money is also an issue, as it always is. Our insurance is refusing to pay for anything involving her cancer, despite how they said they would which is why she has done everything she already has. I've been trying to get a job, but it is hard with no experience and when I am still in high school.
When I do get a job, I want to save my money for a few months and buy a car, and then move forward with my emancipation. I have been waiting to get emancipated for 3 years, and once I can financially support myself, I will finally be able to file the paperwork. My family knows about it, though it didn't happen quite how I imagined and my entire family has disowned me, including my grandma who raised me. I feel like I am tearing my family apart and I'm not meaning to at all. I want to get emancipated because my home environment is very unhealthy for me mentally and emotionally, it's making me severely depressed and suicidal, giving me anxiety and making me ready to give up. I probably sound extremely selfish. I'm not sure if I care, though. I finally learned that self-help and self-love is more vital than anything else. In a way, I want to say I am also doing it for my mom, even though I know it'll hurt her. It will give her more income, when she doesn't have to take care of me, that she can use for her cancer treatment.
I know that right now I am emotionally unstable, I am tattooing myself as one of my escapes. Also, I want to work out more, which is what I do when I want to self harm. I've been wondering why I do what I do, why everything. I'm at a point where I want to drop out and just do everything I've ever wanted to do and then end everything because I feel like I can't do it anyway, and if I could I'm not worthy of the end rewards anyway.
thanks for listening to my vent.. if you're looking for a collectible, comment which one you want from my side bar in your post, but this doesn't guarantee that you'll get it. Either way, everyone who comments will get some TBT based on the length, sincerity, etc of their post. I have a little less than 900 TBT, so I'll give it out until it's gone.
- - - Post Merge - - -
also, feel free to move this mods/admins to wherever it needs to be. I posted in the museum because I thought it was gonna be a post different than what this is..
- - - Post Merge - - -
I probably won’t be replying to any comments, because I’m not sure what to say other than thank you, but I’ll like your posts to tell you I’ve read them and thank you for posting. If you PM me, I’ll reply if I’m able to (some days my mental capacity for things like that has been reached by 9 am lol). I’m also not on TBTF much anymore, but I’ll be checking in on this post from time to time. If you wanna directly reach me, just to check on me or if you’re wanting to vent to me, or anything really, my instagram is trystin.xoxo and my Snapchat is xtrystinx.
My mom has aggressive breast cancer, her surgery was a month ago but it didn't help. She had a port put in her chest yesterday and starts chemo tomorrow. She is really upset and I don't know what to do, I feel so tiny and helpless.
Money is also an issue, as it always is. Our insurance is refusing to pay for anything involving her cancer, despite how they said they would which is why she has done everything she already has. I've been trying to get a job, but it is hard with no experience and when I am still in high school.
When I do get a job, I want to save my money for a few months and buy a car, and then move forward with my emancipation. I have been waiting to get emancipated for 3 years, and once I can financially support myself, I will finally be able to file the paperwork. My family knows about it, though it didn't happen quite how I imagined and my entire family has disowned me, including my grandma who raised me. I feel like I am tearing my family apart and I'm not meaning to at all. I want to get emancipated because my home environment is very unhealthy for me mentally and emotionally, it's making me severely depressed and suicidal, giving me anxiety and making me ready to give up. I probably sound extremely selfish. I'm not sure if I care, though. I finally learned that self-help and self-love is more vital than anything else. In a way, I want to say I am also doing it for my mom, even though I know it'll hurt her. It will give her more income, when she doesn't have to take care of me, that she can use for her cancer treatment.
I know that right now I am emotionally unstable, I am tattooing myself as one of my escapes. Also, I want to work out more, which is what I do when I want to self harm. I've been wondering why I do what I do, why everything. I'm at a point where I want to drop out and just do everything I've ever wanted to do and then end everything because I feel like I can't do it anyway, and if I could I'm not worthy of the end rewards anyway.
thanks for listening to my vent.. if you're looking for a collectible, comment which one you want from my side bar in your post, but this doesn't guarantee that you'll get it. Either way, everyone who comments will get some TBT based on the length, sincerity, etc of their post. I have a little less than 900 TBT, so I'll give it out until it's gone.
- - - Post Merge - - -
also, feel free to move this mods/admins to wherever it needs to be. I posted in the museum because I thought it was gonna be a post different than what this is..
- - - Post Merge - - -
I probably won’t be replying to any comments, because I’m not sure what to say other than thank you, but I’ll like your posts to tell you I’ve read them and thank you for posting. If you PM me, I’ll reply if I’m able to (some days my mental capacity for things like that has been reached by 9 am lol). I’m also not on TBTF much anymore, but I’ll be checking in on this post from time to time. If you wanna directly reach me, just to check on me or if you’re wanting to vent to me, or anything really, my instagram is trystin.xoxo and my Snapchat is xtrystinx.
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