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Do you believe being close with your family is morally important?

Buttonsy

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As someone who grew up with really toxic relatives and has distanced myself from them for my mental health, I've been curious about people who view people who have close families as being better than people who don't.
 
I'm in the same situation as you, and I don't feel guilty at all. I have my couple who supports me :)
 
No. My dad is the most toxic and jerk person ever (with some weird morals and "family is the most important thing" and some narcissistic views too), and while my mom is alright she sometimes"agrees" with him so yeah).

Family is not by any means only related to blood, and if you can't get along, you can't.
 
if my family was horrible and toxic, then closeness wouldn't be a moral priority, distance would.

i'm fortunate to have parents who are like friends to me and love and support me, so closeness is just natural.
 
No, but I also have a toxic family that makes me sick.
 
personally im close with my parents, but no one else in my family.
i don't enjoy my family. i wouldn't say theyre "toxic" but they're not exactly good to be around.
 
No I don't think you have any moral obligation to be close to your family if they are toxic/treat you badly. They should have to earn your respect just like anyone else; they don't get a free pass to do whatever just because they share your blood.
 
No I don't think you have any moral obligation to be close to your family if they are toxic/treat you badly. They should have to earn your respect just like anyone else; they don't get a free pass to do whatever just because they share your blood.

This this, thank you.

Also I hate how they guilt-trip you into owing them everything. Uh, come again? THEY are the ones choosing to take care of you, they should provide stuff not the reverse man...
 
I have a really toxic family, although things are better with certain family members because they have made changes to their behaviour. However, my sister is the most toxic person ever and I finally cut her out of my life after she beat me up in a hospital waiting room. I still get pressured by the rest of my family to "make peace" with her even though they know all the horrible things she's done to me even before that time. I used to succumb to that pressure and I would always end up hurt. They always tell me that my best quality is being the bigger person when they refuse to but what's the point if they don't change? So I don't care if people tell me I'm a terrible person for cutting her out and making holidays and other family gatherings awkward, etc. At the end of the day, we have to do whats right for us, too. So if anyone ever makes you feel guilty about cutting out the toxic people in your life, just remember that you're not doing anything wrong.
 
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As someone who grew up with really toxic relatives and has distanced myself from them for my mental health, I've been curious about people who view people who have close families as being better than people who don't.

me and my dad are more like brother and sister. whenever we go shopping we push eachother into the shelves, he gave me a concussion once lmao. i love my dad. my mum has always been distant because she lives very far away, i see her twice a year. me and her never got on because we were just completely different people. she broke down to me last time i saw her because she felt she ditched me for her current husband who are getting a divorce soon. since then, she's put in alot more effort. i think its important that you grt along with your parents because my dads saved my skin on SO many occasions, but if you dont get along well dont beat yourself up about it ^^

- - - Post Merge - - -

i am EXTREMELY fortunate with this, but sometimes distance is better when your parents are toxic. i HATE my grandparents on my dads side so i havent spoken to them in a few years
 
I don't think it's morally important at all; I'm extremely close with my mom and my brother, but I didn't have any contact with my dad for 9 years and my step-father was emotionally abusive and even though he basically raised me I cut him out of my life a few years after my mom divorced him. I think it's important emotionally to have close relationships with people that you consider your family, but there's nothing moral about it, and you don't have to be related by blood to call someone your family. I have a lot of friends who don't have the same kind of relationship with their mothers that I do with mine, but I'm not going to judge them for not being close with people who abused them. My brother doesn't really talk to his father except when he has to, mainly because he relies on him financially for college, and I can't wait until he graduates and never has to talk to his **** dad ever again if he doesn't want to.
 
it depends on person to person. if you have a toxic/****ty family and you don't benefit mentally from being with them or close to them then like, no. it's not important to u and it doesn't have to be, and doesn't make u a bad person. on the flip side, people with good & supportive families should at the very least be grateful for it. but it has to do with who you consider family, and who you want to be close to. some people might claim that blood is thicker than water, but i disagree. all that matters is who you choose to be close with. that's your family.
 
No not at all, while my parents have opinions that can be toxic, i'd still say that it doesn't affect my relationship with them since I tend to ignore it. But on the other hand, i'm not all that close with my parents. It's mainly because I grew up in a family of four, so someone's bound to get left out at some point. That and I find that me and my mum, we're just two different people. Even though she loves me regardless, I just know that my older sister is a much better fit for the daughter that she's always wanted, and i'm okay with that. With my dad, we definitely get a long a lot more, and I see myself in him. But I wouldn't say i'm close to either of them. There's a lot of things that I don't discuss with my family members, be it mum or dad brother or sister etc. So, no. I'm not particularly close with any of my family members and I don't think it's morally important to be. I also find it quite cringy when my parents try to be parents.
 
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This this, thank you.

Also I hate how they guilt-trip you into owing them everything. Uh, come again? THEY are the ones choosing to take care of you, they should provide stuff not the reverse man...

I know right?! And I hate when they're like "I fed you your whole life you have to do whatever I say!" I mean I would hope that if you chose to have a child you feed them and not let them die....
 
lmao no you arent obligated to like your family or be with them or feel things abt them just bc theyre family

people who think youre an awful person if you dislike your parents probably havent had to deal with having bad parents
 
I know right?! And I hate when they're like "I fed you your whole life you have to do whatever I say!" I mean I would hope that if you chose to have a child you feed them and not let them die....

Yeah or "you're my dad(family) so why don't you spend time with me and with everyone else?"

uh yeah guess once dude
 
no lol nopee family if your family is **** ghost those mofos
 
It's definitely not necessary. Like you a lot of family environments are really toxic and honestly I don't blame people for leaving as soon as possible. I envy my friends who have been able to. Sure having a strong family bond I am sure is really great and everything but it's not for ever situation.
 
Not one bit. Being close with one's family is ideal, but it's not always in your best interest to be.

I don't speak to the majority of my blood relatives because both sides are full of narcissists. My very concept of reality was almost completely broken at one point because of the psychological abuse I went through with them. I have a few relatives that mean well, and I can have a pleasant enough relationship with them if I maintain a healthy distance, but there isn't a single one that I feel safe letting my guard down for.

So, I haven't cut off every family member, but the few that I do have some contact with are still not entirely trustworthy, or have still hurt me, and I have set boundaries with them. Unfortunately in those particular cases, I'm only capable of having a positive relationship with them as long as I don't trust them, and keep any conversation with them light and superficial.
 
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