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Opinions on me moving?

Haydenv019

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So, I've been thinking lately.
My daily life in this house I call home is OK, but can definitely improve.
I keep to myself, do my homework, and go straight to my room after school.
My older brother keeps dragging me out of there though to do my chores, yell at me because I can't do anything by myself, etc. etc.
It's the same process everyday. Its been happening since the past summer up until now.

And I'm getting tired of it.

One day, my mom suggested a idea that I should move in with her, because I tell her how I feel when I get picked up by her every two weeks or so just to chill at her house for the weekend.
She tells me my dad is actually bad and all, and that she has to keep paying Child Support for ME only.
If I moved in with her, she wont have to pay those bills, and my dad would end up having to pay HER.
I had another brother. He was a regular older brother who loved to prank me but got annoyed for everything I did. He moved away for a university in Arizona.
She told me that he moved out because he wanted to get away from the house. I can totally agree with that.

Life was indeed stressful for the both of us. He's resting comfortably now, without the painful stress of me on his shoulders.

She also told me that I would actually get taken care of, make plenty of friends (There's this huge park next to her house, and I see a crapload of kids over there)
There's even an high school within walking distance (its literally like a quarter mile away), so I won't have to worry using bikes or whatnot.
She also told me that I would actually get my own room with some decent privacy, which is nice because I have never gotten some actual privacy in my life without someone busting in to reveal my secrets.
Plus, I get to live with my Lil' half brother, in the pic in the spoiler below
IMG_20170428_222559.jpg
He's a really smart kid, and my mom keeps telling me that he asks for me everyday, like to pick me up.
She said it would be good for him.
I can also get some decent meals for once, Instead of looking through my fridge for some canned food or some leftovers from another meal.
My mom's fiancee, Frank, is a good cook.
I like his cooking, it's delicious.

The problem I have though is how my dad, Justin, and two roommates will react.

My dad will obviously get impacted very harshly, since I think he already knows Mom is paying child support.
I already know he will try to convince me to stay, that I'm taken care of right now.
But I already know that's not the case.
My older bro won't care. In fact, he half WANTS me to move.
the two roommates won't care, since I haven't known them long enough.

Another huge problem. School.
I really like my school. The only class that is really difficult for me is French.
Plus, its a really good school. They kick ass in sports.
There are plenty of people over there that know me, but we dont have any relationships whatsoever besides just casual chat.
I'm pratically a loner over there, but people occasionally love to mess with me and call me out in a funny way.
Im actually pretty funny, I much just act WEIRD sometimes.

I just needed to get this off my chest. I already know it's all up to me, but you guys could be the final nail to the coffin for all I know for my descision.

Feel free to point anything out, I don't really care.
Meanwhile, time to get some sleep.
 
Seems like you listed a whole lot more pros than cons, if your school is really all that is keeping you do you think your mom would have a problem taking you to your school? Is there a bus or some other way you could get there? If you only want to stay there for sports and stuff though, and don't really have any friends switching schools could definitely be a good change. Honestly it shouldn't matter that your dad would want you to stay, I am sure more than anything he wants you to stay so he can get the child support and so he wont have to pay for it. It seems from all you wrote that you really do want to move, so I guess there is your answer.
 
I'd do it, honestly. It's hard when you have other people to think about, but as long as you're still communicating regularly and whatnot, it's just a matter of where you live, and that's nowhere near as important as relationships (all of which sound like they'd be better if you moved).
 
I would honestly go forward with it, but the school thing does seem to make it tough. How many good friends do you have there?
 
Moving in with your mom won’t be all sunshine and rainbows. She’s making a lot of promises, and saying everything you want to hear. I would take it with a grain of salt. Especially as you are a minor. She’d need to go through legal channels to gain primary custody of you. It’s not as simple as just moving, and her child support disappears. If your dad takes it particularly hard it could get very nasty.

I do think moving would be overall good for your emotional health, the way you talk about it, but it won’t solve all your problems. In fact, it will begin about a lot of new challenges. Dont approach something this major like a fantasy. It sucks, but you have to be practical about this. That said, you also can’t live your life trying to make other people happy. Don’t worry so much about other people’s feelings here, this includes your dad and your little brother. They’ll eventually cope. What matters is your well being. This is about your life and future, not theirs.
 
From what I'm reading here, it seems like you'd be a lot better off moving. Sure, you might have to go to a different school, but you honestly sound like you would be a lot happier with your mom.

It's okay to be considerate of others feelings, but you shouldn't go for something just because you think it's gonna make them get upset with you. On numerous occasions I've said and done things to stand up to my parents without fear of making them feel bad (don't take that the wrong way, I'm not disrespectful or rude to them). My parents almost separated about 5 years ago, and it would've been really hard to choose but I eventually would have ended up going where I thought it was best for me to go.

You should probably go with your gut feeling. If you're telling yourself a lot that you should go for it, then you're prob gonna make the right choice.
 
Moving in with your mom won?t be all sunshine and rainbows. She?s making a lot of promises, and saying everything you want to hear. I would take it with a grain of salt. Especially as you are a minor. She?d need to go through legal channels to gain primary custody of you. It?s not as simple as just moving, and her child support disappears. If your dad takes it particularly hard it could get very nasty.

I do think moving would be overall good for your emotional health, the way you talk about it, but it won?t solve all your problems. In fact, it will begin about a lot of new challenges. Dont approach something this major like a fantasy. It sucks, but you have to be practical about this. That said, you also can?t live your life trying to make other people happy. Don?t worry so much about other people?s feelings here, this includes your dad and your little brother. They?ll eventually cope. What matters is your well being. This is about your life and future, not theirs.

Your right. I really need to stop thinking about other people's feelings and actually think for myself.

And, my mom also told me that she could take me whenever she want, it's just that it's my choice.

*sigh* I'll probably move at the end of the school year. I didnt really tell my dad yet, so I don't know yet.

To be perfectly honest, I'm judging this way too harshly. I keep thinking of all the consequences once I leave, but the benefits at the same time.
I've moved at least 5 times by now, so I already know how moving feels like.
It's simply, well, not major to me since I've done this a couple of times in the past couple of years.
And the ironic part, I'm staying in the house I originally was taken care of, where my dad and mom we're actually together (my mom broke up with my dad because he was acting way too harsh on my mom. I would understand.)
Thankfully, its only been 3 months of school, so I haven't set down much roots over there.
In fact, the only harsh thing will happen is that my acquaintances would be hit hard. Especially since I've known them since kindergarten.
The school I would be going if I happened to move would be a 30-40 minute drive from where Im living ATM. (but its right next to the house I'll move in)
I don't have any good friends. Like I said before, my dad would end up having to pay child support for ME because I would be living with HER now. (Tbh I dont know how those shenanigans work so feel free to point it out)
She paid for child support all these years for my three bros. Now there's only one under 18. Me.
What I meant for school is that its actually a good school besides sports. Good clubs, programs, and teachers in general are all fantastic.
But I didnt join any clubs, and all my teachers semi-like me because I'm always quiet all the time.

I have a really bad headache right now, so I'll just end my post here.
 
Your right. I really need to stop thinking about other people's feelings and actually think for myself.

And, my mom also told me that she could take me whenever she want, it's just that it's my choice.

*sigh* I'll probably move at the end of the school year. I didnt really tell my dad yet, so I don't know yet.

To be perfectly honest, I'm judging this way too harshly. I keep thinking of all the consequences once I leave, but the benefits at the same time.
I've moved at least 5 times by now, so I already know how moving feels like.
It's simply, well, not major to me since I've done this a couple of times in the past couple of years.
And the ironic part, I'm staying in the house I originally was taken care of, where my dad and mom we're actually together (my mom broke up with my dad because he was acting way too harsh on my mom. I would understand.)
Thankfully, its only been 3 months of school, so I haven't set down much roots over there.
In fact, the only harsh thing will happen is that my acquaintances would be hit hard. Especially since I've known them since kindergarten.
The school I would be going if I happened to move would be a 30-40 minute drive from where Im living ATM. (but its right next to the house I'll move in)
I don't have any good friends. Like I said before, my dad would end up having to pay child support for ME because I would be living with HER now. (Tbh I dont know how those shenanigans work so feel free to point it out)
She paid for child support all these years for my three bros. Now there's only one under 18. Me.
What I meant for school is that its actually a good school besides sports. Good clubs, programs, and teachers in general are all fantastic.
But I didnt join any clubs, and all my teachers semi-like me because I'm always quiet all the time.

I have a really bad headache right now, so I'll just end my post here.
Your mom can’t just take you. She may want to. You may want her to. But if she’s paying child support there is a binding legal agreement that says otherwise. Your father has to be involved in ththe legal proceedings. Child custody is usually decided out of court, but it does take time and must be done legally. Child support doesn’t transfer to whoever the child lives with. Child support is put upon the parent without primary custody. Your mom has to legally obtain primary custody in order to stop pay and start receiving. You can move in with her without going through legal means, but then, according to the law, she would still have to pay your father.

Don’t be blind to the new problems. It can be extremely difficult to acclimate to a new school, especially at an older age. The kids there knew each other since kindergarten. I’m not saying you can’t make friends. You most definitely can. You’ll just always feel like a newcomer. You won’t have the inside jokes and shared memories. You’ll have to create new memories. That can be a tough thing., especially when your entire life is changing.

Don’t view this as a completely fresh start. Go into it thinking of it as a new chapter. Don’t close your book. Keep in contact with your current friends, even if they aren’t too close. Make an effort. Yes, you’ll lose some people along the way, but you can’t ignore who you are. You’ll still be bae to see them, your father, and everyone else.
 
i dont know your situation but may i ask why the court ruled that you stay with your father?

as someone w/ divorced parents every time they say something along the lines of "youll be happier with me than with ____" i always find it kinda shady
 
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