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Purposefully ugly town?

Sloom

sherb
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A driver was stuck in a traffic jam on the highway outside Washington, DC.
Cars were at a stand still. Nothing was moving.
Suddenly, a man knocks on the window. The driver rolls down the window and asks, "What's going on?"
"Terrorists have kidnapped the entire US Congress, and they're asking for a $200 million dollar ransom. Otherwise, they are going to douse them all in gasoline and set them on fire. We are going from car to car, collecting donations."
"How much is everyone else giving, on average?" the driver asks.
The man replies, "Eh, Roughly a gallon."

My grandpa told me this gem of a joke. Here it goes...
A fleeing criminal, desperate to escape the police, runs into the desert with hardly any water. Very soon, he runs out of drinking water, and hours later, he is already plodding under the merciless desert sun.
He is close to desperation when suddenly, he sees something far off in the distance. Hoping against hope that it is water, he starts running towards what he thinks is an oasis, only to find a little old man with a little stand, full of ties.
'Hey you, do you have water?' Pants the criminal.
The old man replied, 'I have already finished my water, but would you like to buy a tie? They are only $5.'
The criminal, frustrated shouted, 'you moron! Do I look like I need a tie? I should kill you right here, but I have to find some water first!"
'There's no call for threats,' said the old tie seller indignantly, 'but even though you don't want to buy one of my ties and you treat me like this, I'll help you. If you continue over that hill for about 3 miles, you'll find a restaurant with great food and all the ice cold water you can drink. Good luck!"
Muttering in disgust, the criminal staggered away over the hill. Several hours later the other man sees him crawling on the dune back towards him. When he finally arrives, he lays on his back, panting.
"Everything ok?" Asked the tie salesman as he bends over to hear the raspy whisper of the other man.
"They won't let me in without a tie..."

Police Officer: So, how did you kill 59 people?
Taxi Driver: I was driving at 80km/h, when I saw two men crossing the road. On the other side, a wedding was taking place. I hit the brakes, but they failed.
Police Officer: And?
Taxi Driver: So, I had to make the choice of either hitting the two men, or the wedding party.
Police Officer: You hit the two men, of course!
Taxi Driver: Exactly! We think alike! Problem was, after hitting one of the men, the other escaped to the wedding party, so I went after him.
 
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Haha, that'd be kind of funny. Like a town of a bunch of unwanted misfits. I like it.
 
Well all of my towns are like that kind of. However I used to have a town called Boondox that had Katt, Hans, Hazel, Alice, Anicotti, Marcel, Stinky, Gloria, Papi, and Octavian. Kind of a mistfit town I suppose.
 
Have any of you ever done a town that is full of the ugliest villagers on purpose? (Jambette, Prince, Truffles,
Al, Wart Jr, Naomi, Rasher, Tabby etc.

Wow,that's funny because I have all of the villagers you listed(except Al)scattered throughout my towns.I wouldn't do an ugly town because to me,these are villagers I'd have in any town whether they're ugly or not.Hmmm...I think a couple of people here had a misfit/ugly villager town.I think Dorian was one of them but I can't think of who the other person is.Ah,too bad Dorian hasn't been online here in a long time so we could ask her about it.
 
sounds like an interesting concept.
i always thought about if i had a second animal crossing game i would make it the worst town ever. ugly villagers, rafflesia, lots of weeds everywhere, horrible town layout, multiple pitfalls, a gyroid graveyeard, equipment that will never be silver or gold, popped balloon presents never to be picked up from the ground, and the shopping district to never be upgraded
 
I think I remember a user here with a town called void or something with a bunch of "ugly" villagers. I forget if it was just a cycle town though. I have a soft spot for the lower tiers and I tend to keep them around. The ones you listed ain't so bad actually.
 
I think you should also consider adding all of the unwanted pwps that hardly anyone ever uses such as the oil rig or the pile of pipes
 
Have any of you ever done a town that is full of the ugliest villagers on purpose? (Jambette, Prince, Truffles,
Al, Wart Jr, Naomi, Rasher, Tabby etc.


I was thinking of doing this, but then an 100% original Rosie randomly moved in and I was like, oh right ok then let's not do that. I'd be interested to know if any of you have done it? It seems like a really good idea to me, since most people take their towns seriously and get all of the cutest or most beautiful villagers.

I can't believe you'd insult my boys Wart Jr. and Prince like this.

My boy Wart Jr has been right there with me since 2006, don't ever talk about my son like this ever again. /s
 
This could be a fun concept tho! Get all the sloppy villagers, let weeds/clovers go wild, pitfalls everywhere, and ugly PWPs scattered about... I could see it being pretty fun to decorate actually!
 
This could be a fun concept tho! Get all the sloppy villagers, let weeds/clovers go wild, pitfalls everywhere, and ugly PWPs scattered about... I could see it being pretty fun to decorate actually!

I agree with this! I love this idea because it'd definitely be out-of-the-norm type of thing ^^
 
I think this would be a cute idea, specially if you got all the right exteriors and outfits like the moldy dress. Or shirt for your mayor and villagers.
 
Have any of you ever done a town that is full of the ugliest villagers on purpose? (Jambette, Prince, Truffles,
Al, Wart Jr, Naomi, Rasher, Tabby etc.


I was thinking of doing this, but then an 100% original Rosie randomly moved in and I was like, oh right ok then let's not do that. I'd be interested to know if any of you have done it? It seems like a really good idea to me, since most people take their towns seriously and get all of the cutest or most beautiful villagers.

WRONG WRONG NOPE NOPE WRONG NOT CORRECT NOPE I DISAGREE WRONG how dare you insult my girl Naomi like that!! The minute you said Naomi I actually gasped. Naomi was my BEST FRIEND I cannot believe you said she's ugly!!!11!!1!1!1 I am honestly so offended right now I can feel the tears coming to my eyes, this is too much to handle!!! the tears are coming to my eyes, get me some tissues. This will not go unpunished. I am very upset right now. #justiceforNaomi

nah, jk lol, I know it's your opinion. But for real I did gasp out loud when I saw her name there, and lmao this is sad but I did get offended just a little ONLY BECAUSE NAOMI WAS IN MY VERY FIRST TOWN AND I MISS HER A LOT!! but uh yeah lol.

- - - Post Merge - - -

Well all of my towns are like that kind of. However I used to have a town called Boondox that had Katt, Hans, Hazel, Alice, Anicotti, Marcel, Stinky, Gloria, Papi, and Octavian. Kind of a mistfit town I suppose.

I think Anicotti is kind of cute. I thought she was ugly at first but once I got to know her, she became cute to me. And I don't get the deal with Octavian, you know how octopus villagers are super popular? Only Zucker and Marina seem to popular, dunno why Octavian isn't the same :/
 
The bad pwp's would be a good idea... If anybody does this, make sure to list the dream address!!
 
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A couple take their son to the circus After a while the father gets up to get some popcorn. While he is away the little boy notices something hanging down between the elephants legs. "Mommy, what is that hanging down on the elephant?", the boy asks. The embarrassed mother says "Oh, that's nothing honey", and is relieved when the father returns with the popcorn. Not satisfied with the mother's answer the little boy waits until his mother leaves to use the bathroom and asks his father "Dad, what is that hanging down between the elephant's legs?". Dad answers, " That's the elephant's penis". The little boy says, "Well how come when I asked mom she said that it was nothing?". Dad leans back and says "Son, I've spoiled that woman....."

The first guy is in the back, rolling his eyes. They had been partying. One friend was bragging about the women he had been with. Another was driving, and was bragging about his keg standing talent. Our guy has tried to do good all his life, and has successfully avoided both pleasures.
The cars takes a corner too fast and all three are killed.
Our guy wakes up weightless, in a bank clouds. There's no one in sight. He starts searching for others, and sees one of his friends in the distance. "What's up! Look what they got up here!" His friend shouts at him. He's cradling a keg under his arm.
Puzzled, our guy looks around and sees his other friend. "Hey man, check it out!" In his arms are two tall blondes, completely naked.
Our guy, angry now, looks around and sees St. Peter. "What's going on here?! I've been good all my life, and you mean to tell me it was all for nothing?" St.Peter rests his hand on his shoulder. "My son, all is not as it appears. You see, the keg, it has a hole in it. And the women...they do not"
 
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A cool idea for a town! It's actually something I've thought of too, like just dead trees and trash everywhere. Could have modern pwps and modern remodel for the train station & town hall, to give it an abandoned dystopian feel. Have the drilling rig with qr codes of oil all around it, and have muddy cracked sidewalk paths going haphazardly all over. Maybe have it set permanently in a certain time/weather. Like early autumn during a sky thats right before a thunderstorm (when it's super dark and foggy).
As far as villagers maybe these ones: Al, Barold, Canberra, Harry, Jambette, Moose
 
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The Husband Store
A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
"That's nice," she thinks, "but I want more."
So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.
"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop- dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
PLEASE NOTE:
To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.
The first floor has wives that love sex.
The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer.
The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.
 
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- Pick all the shanty exteriors
- Customize all your furniture with the moldy shirt
- Give your neighbors ugly furniture and bugs/fish to make their houses look awful
That actually almost sounds like an artsy town that would be pleasant to walk around. Maybe instead of Jambette, have a bit more of a serious, abandoned feel with villagers like Vic, Avery, Dobie, Kyle or Samson. It'd be a pretty creepy cool town
But half of those villagers aren't ugly xD
 
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A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door. "Hurry!" she said, "stand in the corner." She quickly rubbed baby oil all over him and then she dusted him with talcum powder. "Don't move until I tell you to," she whispered. "Just pretend you're a statue."
"What's this, honey?" the husband inquired as he entered the room. "Oh, it's just a statue," she replied nonchalantly. "The Smiths bought one for their bedroom.
I liked it so much, I got one for us too."No more was said about the statue, not even later that night when they went to sleep.
Around two in the morning the husband got out of bed, went to the kitchen and returned a while later with a sandwich and a glass of milk."Here," he said to the 'statue', "eat something.
I stood like an idiot at the Smiths' for three days and nobody offered me as much as a glass of water."

After a while the barteder asks him:" Why do you come here every day and order 3 beer?". A man replies:" Well, I have 2 brothers and when we were younger, we agreed that no matter where we ended up. We would drink a beer for each of us.". This continued for some time, but one day man came in a bar and ordered 2 beers. Everybody was shocked, then somebody asked:" Whats wrong did one of your brothers die?". A man replied:" No, I just stopped drinking."

The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open. His assistant walked up to him and said, 'This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?' The boss told her he knew he'd closed the garage door, and walked into his office puzzled by the question.
As he finished his paperwork, he suddenly noticed his fly was open, and zipped it up. He then understood his assistant's question about his 'garage door.'
He headed out for a cup of coffee and paused by her desk to ask, 'When my garage door was open, did you see my Jaguar parked in there?'
She smiled and said, 'No, I didn't. All I saw was an old minivan with two flat tires....
 
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I may just try doing this on my older town, I still play on it even though the cartridge cracked a bit, so I cleared all my inventory out but maybe I'll reset it and try this. I think I'd use Rather and Jitters, not because they're ugly, but because they look like they've been through a lot.
 
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