Dear Auntie Jason,
How do I relax? Between work, school, home life, The Bell Tree Fair 2017, and other social obligations, I never have any time for myself!
Sincerely,
Overworked
Dear Overworked,
Bless your heart deary! It sounds like you're in a right pickle. It sounds to me like you plan everything else in your life - everything you mentioned here - but you never actually schedule any "you time". Maybe you need to start seeing "you time" as an activity. Plan this activity, find a space for it, actually block it out in your diary. When that time comes you completely shut off from everything, you are "busy" to all requests from other areas of your life.
The other areas of your life are only going to falter if you're not firstly taking care of yourself. For you to be able to give the optimum you to any situation, you need to be recharged and functioning at a normal level! Make yourself a priority. Don't feel bad about saying no to things if you don't feel like doing them. Don't feel bad about asking for help from colleagues to complete tasks at work.
I don't believe that you don't have enough time, it's all about prioritising what's important, and what's important is
you.
All my love,
Auntie Jase xox
dear aunty,
how do i confront my boyfriend about smoking/drinking/being unhealthy without sounding rude or controlling
lots of love
carp
My dearest carp,
Firstly I think you need to realise that, despite you being in a relationship, ultimately this is a choice of his own. You need to make him aware in a calm manner that these things he's doing are bothering you, and explain the reasons why they bother you. Whether that's his health, his attitude when he's drunk, or anything else. If you sit down with him and have a mature conversation, expressing your views on the matter can not come across as rude or insulting. If he views it that way, then that's a problem that he needs to work through and not something that you should be worrying about.
Once he's been made to realise the effects on you and himself, the ball is in his court. If he continues to choose to do it, then that's where the ball falls in your court. As you mentioned, you cannot be controlling. Being in a relationship doesn't give you the power to dictate how somebody lives their lives. If this person is doing something that doesn't align with your ideals, or who you are as a person, then you need to decide if that person is for you. You shouldn't try to change a person to become what you want them to be, instead realise that maybe the best decision is to find somebody who
does align with your ideals.
However, do not give him an ultimatum. Do not go into this and tell him that if he doesn't change his ways then you'll leave him. That
is controlling. It's emotional blackmail.
I hope that helps,
Love,
Auntie Jaloobaloob.