"Parents"

helenkeller

helenkeller

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Okay so lately I have been having people complain about needing a break, whether it is to go to a party and have someone baby sit or have someone watch their kids for them.. Most of them are very young, single, under 25. Even if you are a mother at 35 and stable, you still get no right to complain about how everything is so hard.. Why? Because that is what you signed up for. You knew what you were getting into when you had that kid knowing it would be very hard, so why run away from what you signed up for???

Like why can't you be the moms who laugh as their babies rub peanut butter everywhere instead of crying saying it is too overwhelming and you need to get away...

Which leads to asking everyone to watch their kids for them and shoving their responsibilities elsewhere?

Am I just a crotchety old fashioned stale fish? Or does anyone agree.

This is not a one time thing, this is to the women who act like being a mom is a chore and that they should be rewarded for it... Being a mom is a full time job??????????????
 
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If you think about it, you're in charge of this little person who can't do anything yet. 24/7, you have to feed them, watch them. I'm sure at some point, it could get pretty stressful, especially for someone who hasn't done something like that.
 
i agree with you in part. It does annoy me a lot when parents complain excessively about their children and how their entire life revolves around taking care of their kids. Like... is that not what being a parent is? taking care of your children and putting them before yourself?? I mean it's not the 1800's, no one forced you to have children.
You fully signed up for this, it's not the child's fault they need to be taken care of.

However, there is nothing wrong with needing a break and wanting some alone time. I don't deny it's incredibly stressful to be a parent, especially if you also have a job. There's also nothing wrong with wanting to have an identity and life outside of just being a parent. But there's a difference between wanting a break and not wanting anything to do with your own children.

I suppose that's what annoys me, not parents who want a break but parents who act like their children are annoying and the bane of their existence.
 
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I mostly agree with you, but I was raised in a family where everyone takes care of everyone's kids. My aunts are like second moms to me, and my mother is viewed in the same way by my cousins. When all of us were born, my grandma raised us for the first month (it was a running tradition, as she always said she wanted the girls in the family to have some time to rest and recover after giving birth) so I think being asked to take care of a kid by one of my cousins in the future wouldn't bother me at all. Of course, in exchange they'd better be willing to step in for my kid if I can't be there lol!
 
Bcat said:
i agree with you in part. It does annoy me a lot when parents complain excessively about their children and how their entire life revolves around taking care of their kids. Like... is that not what being a parent is? taking care of your children and putting them before yourself?? I mean it's not the 1800's, no one forced you to have children.
You fully signed up for this, it's not the child's fault they need to be taken care of.

However, there is nothing wrong with needing a break and wanting some alone time. I don't deny it's incredibly stressful to be a parent, especially if you also have a job. There's also nothing wrong with wanting to have an identity and life outside of just being a parent. But there's a difference between wanting a break and not wanting anything to do with your own children.

I suppose that's what annoys me, not parents who want a break but parents who act like their children are annoying and the bane of their existence.
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It is okay for a break once in a while but when people think they need a twice or three time a month break to go party or do god knows what overnight is a bit over the top because they feel like they are entitled to that when they got themselves into the situation to begin with. I am not that old so these people are no older than 24
 
There's definitely a line between needing a break and being completely irresponsible. Using "needing a break" as an excuse to go out and party is completely ridiculous - as far as I'm concerned, once you have a kid, your partying days are over.
 
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Yeah I agree that parents need to be more responsible for their child. I hate when parents just let their kids run all over the place and cause a mess when it's not their house. The kids go off and ruin/break things for others and the parents are thinking "not my stuff, not my problem" or "kids will be kids." If you don't want to have to watch your child 24/7, then either discipline them properly so that they won't bother you or other people or get a babysitter. Apparently it's also not socially appropriate to discipline a child that isn't your own for some reason.
 
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i mean its very dependant on the parents situation considering they may not have intended to hvae a child at that age, and was unable to have an abortion for medical/family/religions etc reasons.
 
I apologize if this is harsh but if it is fully your decision to have your child, you have the means to care for them, and you don't take care of them at all/throw them onto other family members, you shouldn't have a kid. My parents and I have a very strained relationship, which we've always had since I can remember. I'm glad I'm here, but I honestly believe they shouldn't have even had the right to have me.

The best example I can give of their BS is that there were many nights as a preteen that I hadn't been able to eat. No groceries, no means of transportation since the closest convenience store was a 30 minute walk minimum, and no money. I would have taken the walk if I had a means to pay for food. When I asked for groceries/food, I would be screamed at and told to get the f*** away because their game was more important. It's not that they didn't even have the means to get/pay for food, they just decided not to because it wasn't important to them. After awhile, my grandma had to end up taking a minimum of an hour drive to take me for groceries. She lived so far away so it wasn't like she was always able to do this for me.

To this day, when I do see my parents during holidays or when I actually feel bad (because I get millions of texts about them missing me) and stay with them for a few days, they act like I owe them for my life. Yeah, you guys may have given me life, but I don't owe you anything. I didn't ask to be here and the majority of my life, you guys acted like it was a chore to take care of me prior to becoming an adult. Except for ages 12 - 17, I haven't lived with my parents and I still don't to this day. Please note that during those ages, my parents felt it was their "right" to have me live with them. My grandma didn't want another argument with them so I was "given back" to them.

It's not that my parents were forced to have me, it was their decision. Ironically, while that grandma loves me very much now, she had wanted my mom to get an abortion because she didn't think my parents could handle a kid. I'm happy that I was given a chance to live but hell, my grandma was totally right my parents couldn't handle a kid lol.
 
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You definitely shouldn't have children if you're not willing to sacrifice things for them.

I, for example, know I couldn't. I'm not afraid to call myself selfish like that. I doubt I'll change.

But parenthood is, no doubt, stress. Let them have times of relaxation away from that pressure.
 
himeki said:
i mean its very dependant on the parents situation considering they may not have intended to hvae a child at that age, and was unable to have an abortion for medical/family/religions etc reasons.
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^^^ i think this is important to recognize. not everyone who sucessfully had a baby means theyre prepared for it. especially with how hard it is to get abortions. the harder it is to get an abortion the more people give birth to chikdren they either dont want or arent ready for.

those people who want to have a kid and say they are ready and eager then turn around and neglect them for a party night. those people didnt know what they signed up for, although they thought that they knew, underestimated the sacrifices and efforts needed for one. and sometimes these people who are single either their baby daddy left them for whatever reason, and they have to support themselves. they cant dedicate their entire time to the kid when they have to work in order to make enough money for them to eat. and other times they can be spoiled, thinking they know whats up when they really dont. so when that reality hits them, they cant part with their friends anymore, they cant go out for drinks anymore, they cant love young and free likes they used to, they snap and they just drop the "burden kid" in someone elses arms and take a night to live life.
 
kayleee said:
There's definitely a line between needing a break and being completely irresponsible. Using "needing a break" as an excuse to go out and party is completely ridiculous - as far as I'm concerned, once you have a kid, your partying days are over.
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lmao i was expressing this to my mother because she is watching a family members baby. she doesnt even have a job so idk why shes out at a birthday party overnight????? she is irresponsible and has showed it multiple times lately. it isnt even just her, a lot of people are like this. even a child at work destroyed my display of bagged lettuce and i didnt even get a sorry, the mom wasnt even paying attention because she was too busy snapchatting lol.....
 
whilst my stepdad is in full time work and i'm in college, my mum who's 37 has to look after my little sister who's currently 3 and my mum has occasional breakdowns about how stressed she is and how hard it is to look after my sister whilst maintaining the house and cooking, and of course she would be, as it's 24/7 attention of feeding, toilet, cleaning, bathing, codding, entertaining etc, my mum doesn't even have time to have a bath, 5 minute shower if she's lucky lmao, she rarely goes out anymore, but she goes out for date night with my stepdad every month so that's ok, she doesn't go out much in the day either as my sister shows signs of ADHD and needs more attention, my mum usually gets my grandma round to help her, and yes she 'signed up' for this and she knew how stressful it is i mean she's had experience lmao (me) and my mum talks about 'oh i deserve this' when she receives something nice, but tbh i think every mum has the right to say they're stressed and how hard it is because it is, doesn't mean they don't love their child or regret them or they're irresponsible, and it's ok to be stressed and complain especially a new time mum who's not used to the life, but not to party and be irresponsible, so i agree with you there!
 
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My sister has five children, and they are all a handful. The youngest two are twins, three years old, and very rowdy - as toddlers are - but I watch them a lot and I do get frustrated with her. She'll complain a lot about how she 'hates her life' and how stressful it is having so many kids, but in my mind I feel that it was her decision to have these children and she has to live with it. I think a lot of young mothers sort of launched themselves into motherhood and now they're frazzled because they didn't expect it to be so hard. There's nothing wrong with taking a break, certainly, but there is something wrong with feeling like you need to escape your children.

I could go on and on about this but I'll spare everyone the paragraphs. :p
 
I don't blame parents for needing a break; kids suck. But needing a break is different from being an irresponsible parent.
 
I feel like some parents pay no attention to their kids at all, the other day when I was in Boston I saw a mom looking at her phone sitting on a bench and her baby was crawling in the middle of a sidewalk.
 
My generation, (which includes 25 year olds) has a lot of spoiled people in it. The mentality is "why can't I just be me?" "I deserve this"

thus the mentality: "why can't I have a kid, but also get ****faced when I want? : (((((("
 
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LandonCrossing said:
I feel like some parents pay no attention to their kids at all, the other day when I was in Boston I saw a mom looking at her phone sitting on a bench and her baby was crawling in the middle of a sidewalk.
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One time I went to Dairy Queen where these two ladies were completely ignoring their kids and just letting them run around like crazy. There were like four or five kids probably no older than five years old running around, climbing on and under the tables and boothes, screaming, knocking stuff off the tables and the two women said nothing. They just turned a blind eye while they played on their phones and talked to each other acting like it was nothing

I had to get up and move from my seat twice to the furthest end of the restaurant because the kids were so out of control.
 
I agree that parents shouldn't run away from being a parent, however, who wouldn't need a break even for a night? Until a child is around seven or so, they can't do anything for themselves. You have to feed them, clean them, make sure they are sticking Legos in their nose, or eating dust balls from their dresser. There is no break, and even when they reach an age where they can take care of themselves, it doesn't mean you can just leave a thirteen year old alone for a weekend and trust them to not do anything stupid while they are alone. It must be exhausting to be a parent at times, where you can be working/going to school, and taking care of this human that will literally die if you look away too long at early ages.

There's a difference from being a irresponsible parent to being an overwhelmed parent.
 
Yeah, you get what you sign up for. Which is why you shouldn't have babies just because it fulfils the meaning of life or it's the goal of every person on earth to reproduce, or other dumb arguments.

It's one thing if you ask now and then and provide a decent compensation for the work trouble, but yeah if you're gonna ask every other day because you can't bear your kid... then you should not have it/them. There are good things that protects against them you know.

And no I don't want a kid because I know I wouldn't be able to take care or sacrifice things for it. And I don't want to destroy my entire tum/lady parts (depending on birth method) either. And I would get jealous as hell on the baby too, and I don't want to waste time on that. I'd rather have a happy life with my partner.

- - - Post Merge - - -

Soraru said:
^^^ i think this is important to recognize. not everyone who sucessfully had a baby means theyre prepared for it. especially with how hard it is to get abortions. the harder it is to get an abortion the more people give birth to chikdren they either dont want or arent ready for.
Click to expand...

Yeah, of course this but I have a feeling the post was directed towards those who can actually choose to have them or not and just acts like spoiled young brats who demands every help there is.
 
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