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Am I being petty?

UglyMonsterFace

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So one day at work recently, I was paired up with a coworker to take care of this "large" party (I work at a restaurant). There were only 7 guests and I could have handled it myself but the restaurant policy is strange and makes servers share :/ So anyway, I only had 1 other table besides the "large" party, and my partner had a full section apart from the 7 top - meaning more tips for him to begin with. Well I ended up taking care of the 7 guests on my own for the most part. My coworker even said to me, "It looks like you're pretty much doing all the work, sorry about that." So he obviously was aware that he wasn't doing much. In the end however, he took half my tips from that table, and he had wayyyy more tips than I did, considering how few tables I had while his section was full. Then! He asked if he could borrow 50 cents from me. I obliged. But he hasn't paid it back yet. Or offered. So he obviously isn't planning on paying it back. Obviously it's not a huge loss, but it's the principle of it that's bothering me. If you borrow money, however small the amount, you should always pay it back and not assume that just because it's a small amount, that the person should just forget about getting it back. Anyway, the whole situation has me annoyed. He knows I need money, but he takes half my tip knowing full well that he barely did anything to deserve it. Then he borrows 50 cents from me even though his tip for the day was MUCH higher than mine, which he hasn't returned at all. Should I ask for it back? Or let it go? I'm too embarrassed to remind him about it, since I don't want to sound cheap. Honestly if he had just tried to return it the next day, I would have told him to forget about it and keep it. But since he isn't paying it back, I kinda just am annoyed and want it back. What would you do in this situation?
 
yes honey you are

but that's not necessarily bad, like, at the end it is your money you know??? this year I reminded a friend to give me back 2 euros I had lent him 3 years ago
 
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50 cents...? I think he should have split his tips with you knowing you were working harder than he was. I know you're mad that he got the better end of the deal, but you really should just be the better person and let it go over 50 cents.
 
yes honey you are

but that's not necessarily bad, like, at the end it is your money you know??? this year I reminded a friend to give me back 2 euros I had lent him 3 years ago

and if you want them back u can always make a "joke" about it
 
I think part of your annoyance is from the fact that he took half your tip for barely doing any of the work. Which is extremely rude of him EVEN if it is their policy to share tips. He knows that he didn't earn that money but took it anyway because he could. I don't think it is worth asking for it back, since it is 50 cents, but if you feel like you need to ask then ask! However I would advise letting him borrow money anymore, especially if he made more money than you on that day. It seems like he doesn't care if you do all the work, he just wants the money. I would just work as normal but don't let him borrow anything and try to get the tips as fast as possible next time or maybe explain to the boss that he barely helped? I don't know your boss very well but I would hope they would understand your frustration in him barely helping and then taking half the tips anyway but I know some bosses just don't care. But that does suck that you got taken for-granted by him. I would personally let it go but if you will feel unjust in this, then remind him that he owes you 50 cents. Good luck. :)
 
I'd be more mad about him stealing my tips. Tbh, I wouldn't have even given him the 50 cents. He clearly has enough money. Don't let him borrow money anymore.
 
I'd be more mad about him stealing my tips. Tbh, I wouldn't have even given him the 50 cents. He clearly has enough money. Don't let him borrow money anymore.

I honestly was already annoyed and I didn't actually want to lend him 50 cents, but he needed it for his cash out and I was giving my other coworker change for a 20 so my wallet was open and he could see I had the change. I couldn't just say no without making things awkward so I just gave it to him. Actually he wanted a dollar, but I said I'll give him quarters instead cuz I want to keep my dollars, and he had 50 cents so he just took 50 cents from me to make a dollar. I know I'll never see it again, but like I said, it's just the principle of things. If you borrow money, especially from someone you KNOW is broke because we have had conversations about me not making enough money, giving back the money without being asked to is just good manners and respectful. It was just the icing on the cake after he took half of my tips. Just the thought of someone with more money asking for money from someone with significantly less, is just messed up??

But yeah, if I can help it, I'm not going to lend him anything. I had the same situation happen yesterday too, with sharing a large party, but with someone else. He didn't do anything but still took half. I guess this is a thing... :( It's really bringing me down.
 
I would definitely be annoyed he took half of your tip especially cause he even said he didn't do anything. I get that you're broke so giving people money without it being returned is just as annoying but I would just let it go. You're a bigger person than I am I wouldn't even give him his half of the tip.
 
I'd say just go for it and ask him for the money back or at least remind him; you don't have to be rude about it, but just be kind and if he is just gonna be a dick about it let it be and have that memory in mind with all future interactions with that person. Looking like "the bad guy" isn't something you want to do.
 
I would definitely be annoyed he took half of your tip especially cause he even said he didn't do anything. I get that you're broke so giving people money without it being returned is just as annoying but I would just let it go. You're a bigger person than I am I wouldn't even give him his half of the tip.

Honestly he got half his tip because he did the cash out for the party so he was the one who divided the tip between us. I didn't let it happen willingly, that's for sure. But even if I was the one who cashed out, I think I'd be too intimidated to confront him, since I'm still the newbie. I just hate sharing parties, I never knew this was a thing! They should have a better method for splitting the tip because getting half regardless of how much or how little work you did is unfair.

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Borrow 50 cents from him and forget to give it back.

Lol I actually was scheming to do something like this. Once, I asked if he had change for a fiver, thinking it would remind him about the 50 cents. He just told me no. But I'll try it this way next time, haha :p although he doesnt seem the type to lend money anyway, or even come prepared. We need to bring change for tip out so he should be bringing cash, but he never does. Just relies on others.
 
next time you have a large party table split with him just say with a light-hearted laugh, going in, that its his turn to do most of the work since you did on the last party.

i'd forget about the fifty cents issue. those kinda things should even out.

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i meant- should even out over time.
 
next time you have a large party table split with him just say with a light-hearted laugh, going in, that its his turn to do most of the work since you did on the last party.

i'd forget about the fifty cents issue. those kinda things should even out.

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i meant- should even out over time.

Lol, I could never say anything like that, even jokingly. My bf told me that if we end up sharing again, that I should just slack on it and let him do most of the work and still take half of the tips, to even it out. But I could never ever do something like that.
 
I think the only petty thing is if you were merely upset over 50 cents.


Honestly, that's just what's blowing off the casket. If he is fully aware that you're struggling to make ends meet or are broke, perhaps he should of realized his value at that point in the whole meal of a large party. You deserved the tips more, especially if you took care of them more. The fact that he just took half was not only shady/petty but honestly.... Just.. Makes him out to be quite the crappy person. But, I do know, unfortunately being an idealist, not everyone sees greatly in idealism.

Or perhaps I'm naive and want to trust people.


In any case, don't let him borrow money, and if it happens again where you feel you were unfairly split a tip amount, make note of it, and bring it to either your boss, or HR.
 
I hate people who are super tip greedy... one of the reasons I hated food service. He should have at least tipped you out from the amount he got from splitting the table because you did pretty much everything. I don't think the 50 cents is a big deal, but it's probably annoying you more because it was piled on the split tips. I remember working at my last job and girl had come in when I had a line so she stepped in and helped a few people which was nice, but I had worked the whole previous shift on my own with my own tip bucket out, during the line maybe two people dropped a dollar in and she asked me when I was leaving if I was going to split it with her cause she helped, the whole tip box that I worked all shift with, so I told her I would tip her out, tipped her out the dollar she earned for helping and she was butt hurt about it. Could have given her nothing but that's what she earned during the time she helped. It sucks because it's kind of necessary to be tip hungry in food service since that's a big part of your wages. I'm sorry that happened, but maybe next time just tell the lead or host or whoever that you can handle to table so you don't have to split it?
 
I don't think you are. You worked your butt off, and you deserve all the tips from that table. It was wrong for him to take more than you did so you have every right to be pissed off.
 
...maybe next time just tell the lead or host or whoever that you can handle to table so you don't have to split it?

It's actually a weird policy to make servers share large parties :/ So there's really nothing I can do about it. It's also just policy to split the tips equally. I suppose it's up to each individual server to just be fair. But I've shared parties 3 times already where I've done all the work, and it was still equal split.. But sometimes I get to do large parties without a partner.. It's really strange. But that's just how the managers do it :(

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I don't think you are. You worked your butt off, and you deserve all the tips from that table. It was wrong for him to take more than you did so you have every right to be pissed off.


Yeah :( The service industry just isn't fair sometimes. Most people are greedy.

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I think the only petty thing is if you were merely upset over 50 cents.


Honestly, that's just what's blowing off the casket. If he is fully aware that you're struggling to make ends meet or are broke, perhaps he should of realized his value at that point in the whole meal of a large party. You deserved the tips more, especially if you took care of them more. The fact that he just took half was not only shady/petty but honestly.... Just.. Makes him out to be quite the crappy person. But, I do know, unfortunately being an idealist, not everyone sees greatly in idealism.

Or perhaps I'm naive and want to trust people.


In any case, don't let him borrow money, and if it happens again where you feel you were unfairly split a tip amount, make note of it, and bring it to either your boss, or HR.

Unfortunately, the bosses won't do anything about it because it's really something between the servers and they can't really pick sides. It's their own policy to split the tip evenly so it would really be up to my partner to be fair.
 
Well that would get me heated. It is policy that he helps but he shouldve given you at least most of the tip. I would straight up just confront him and remind him and tell him exactly how I felt.
 
Well that would get me heated. It is policy that he helps but he shouldve given you at least most of the tip. I would straight up just confront him and remind him and tell him exactly how I felt.

I'm too afraid of confrontation. Not to mention, he's the only one who has been friendly to me outside of work. I don't want to make it awkward between us and then I will have no friends haha.
 
i'd be mad over this too because, well, pettiness is life lol. no but seriously, you should just ask for it back considering he got more tips than you.
 
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