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Depression

i have had anxiety ever since i was small. i probably will never grow out of it so i just attempt to live with it. i go through periods of feeling depressed, but i haven't been clinically diagnosed with depression so idk if i actually have it. but anxiety sucks. a l o t. it gets to the point where i cant even be around people while they're eating cause i freak out that they're gonna choke. so yeahhhhhh.
 
Yeah.... Life was really bad when I was a teenager. Like crippling. I couldn't leave my house, I would freak out and cry. A lot. For years. Been told I have Depression,, OCD and personality disorder by loads of different doctors of different types. I don't know if they're true, I don't really care. I don't think about it once I get proper treatment. Friends helped me through everything and they still do. It doesn't get easier per se but you just either move on or you don't. That's what it boils down to. Last summer was a living hell tbh. Free time is the bane of my existence. My thoughts run wild
 
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A couple years ago I went into a serious bout of depression as a result of my chronic pain condition. For a while literally nothing could make me happy and I thought my life was basically over.

But I'm sooooooooooooooooooo much better now. I still feel a little sad and worried about the future, but I'm nowhere near as... lifeless as I was before. I didn't take any meds for depression but I went to therapy and that + slowly adjusting to my condition and what it takes to keep it in check helped a great deal. I honestly don't even think I qualify as depressed anymore. I look forward to stuff that I like now. I don't feel sorry for myself anymore. And I learned strategies to keep my anxiety and most of my negative thinking at bay.

So wherever along the journey towards recovery you are, don't give up. About two years ago this summer I legitimately, unironically wanted to die. And now... now I can safely say I am happy :)
 
lmao ive been like 30 miles deep into dissociation the last few weeks and now i kinda returned a little and Oh Boiyiyyuy am i depressed
also mental health professionals make me want to Die
 
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