Can someone explain agender to me

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helenkeller

helenkeller

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I have no idea what nonbinary is. And I don't even believe it is real... I don't understand how someone can not know if they're a boy or a girl? Why does our generation have to put labels on everything? I just don't get it. so don't be rude, please.

I believe that it is all just chemical imbalance IMO. (that doesn't mean they don't struggle)

where I live the lgbtq community isn't that big, so its not like I know anyone who is.
I know one person who claims she's non binary but she literally follows every tumblr person and changed her sexuality like five times in a year in her Instagram bio... that's not a good example for me. because she changes who she is every time she finds out something even more different... she wants to be an edgy teen and just kinda makes herself look confused (which she could be and probably is, I don't refer to her as they/them, I don't even talk to her anymore, even if I did, I wouldn't call her they or them... if your trans though I will call you by proper pronouns)
oh and I know of one transgender person but only because she hit on my boyfriend.... (she didn't even like come off respectable either. she literally just came onto him like she was a real girl)

I'm sorry if I come off really offensive, but, even being black used to get you made fun of at my school I went to, I am just genuinely curious so please be nice....... so that right there shows you I'm from bum**** Egypt...

oh and I'm adding this.

why do trans people feel like it is their right to disclose if theyre trans or not to someone theyre dating? that is so disrespectful. just because you feel like a real boy/girl doesn't mean the person you want to be with is comfortable with that....
 
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I tend to get mix definitions but to me it just means they don't conform to gender stereotypes
 
They simply don't identify as having any sort of gender identity. Some call themselves that temporarily while they are discovering themselves, and some choose to stay down that path.

Whatever they choose to call themselves, you have to be tolerant and kind to them. It shouldn't stop you from being comfortable around them.
 
Bowie said:
They simply don't identify as having any sort of gender identity. Some call themselves that temporarily while they are discovering themselves, and some choose to stay down that path.

Whatever they choose to call themselves, you have to be tolerant and kind to them. It shouldn't stop you from being comfortable around them.
Click to expand...

I'd never be uncomfortable around somebody because they're different! I just don't say anything, I keep it to myself. Usually if you ask questions you are "triggered" or being a "bully". When I am just genuinely confused, the person closest to the lgbtq community is one of my friends who are bi. This one girl got food thrown at her by this one girl just for liking girls.... I don't understand why some people are so cruel. If it doesn't effect me I don't care.
 
helenkeller said:
I have no idea what nonbinary is. And I don't even believe it is real... I don't understand how someone can not know if they're a boy or a girl? Why does our generation have to put labels on everything? I just don't get it. so don't be rude, please.

I believe that it is all just chemical imbalance IMO. (that doesn't mean they don't struggle)

where I live the lgbtq community isn't that big, so its not like I know anyone who is.
I know one person who claims she's non binary but she literally follows every tumblr person and changed her sexuality like five times in a year in her Instagram bio... that's not a good example for me. because she changes who she is every time she finds out something even more different... she wants to be an edgy teen and just kinda makes herself look confused (which she could be and probably is, I don't refer to her as they/them, I don't even talk to her anymore, even if I did, I wouldn't call her they or them... if your trans though I will call you by proper pronouns)
oh and I know of one transgender person but only because she hit on my boyfriend.... (she didn't even like come off respectable either. she literally just came onto him like she was a real girl)

I'm sorry if I come off really offensive, but, even being black used to get you made fun of at my school I went to, I am just genuinely curious so please be nice....... so that right there shows you I'm from bum**** Egypt...

oh and I'm adding this.

why do trans people feel like it is their right to disclose if theyre trans or not to someone theyre dating? that is so disrespectful. just because you feel like a real boy/girl doesn't mean the person you want to be with is comfortable with that....
Click to expand...

I agree to that last part. I get the point of view on the other side and I'm not in the dating game but that's kind of a big thing I'd want know (not that I mind but many people do) I wouldn't appreciate going on multiple dates with someone who won't tell me they have kids. To me it's on the same level.
 
ACTUALLY, this one girl who lives by me does want her nipples removed. She says it makes her struggle.. I don't get it though, because she's okay with posting risqu? photos of herself, but struggles because she has nipples? Come on now lmao, even males have nipples....
 
helenkeller said:
why do trans people feel like it is their right to disclose if theyre trans or not to someone theyre dating? that is so disrespectful. just because you feel like a real boy/girl doesn't mean the person you want to be with is comfortable with that....
Click to expand...

Because they're trans and you need to know. It's also a good way to spot transphobics.
 
Can also be more or less applied if you don't feel like and/or fit in with whatever other sex/gender, not wanna label themselves or just identifying as a person and might not wanna put too much focus on their sex/gender in general, not caring about genders etc. etc.. It's a bit of a blurry definition though.

For my part I usually don't reveal myself too much cause it's a bit fun seeing people trying to figure out things. I mean I am me and not whatever I have sticking out in certain places.
 
Sheila said:
Can also be more or less applied if you don't feel like and/or fit in with whatever other sex/gender, not wanna label themselves or just identifying as a person and might not wanna put too much focus on their sex/gender in general, not caring about genders etc. etc.. It's a bit of a blurry definition though.

For my part I usually don't reveal myself too much cause it's a bit fun seeing people trying to figure out things. I mean I am me and not whatever I have sticking out in certain places.
Click to expand...

Ooh same
I like being a mystery on the internet but the term is still blurry
 
What is more annoying is all those "special snowflake" tumblr people withing the lgbtq+ community that gets miffed really easily if people don't recognize out their "trans n-word demisexual british muslim gay aro" personality all day every day and notice it every time. Like bro that is not how you earn respect, if you know what I mean.

So yeah, just stay cool and you have my respect, I couldn't care less what you are unless you actually do dumb things in the name of it.

- - - Post Merge - - -

boujee said:
Ooh same
I like being a mystery on the internet but the term is still blurry
Click to expand...

Yeah it is since it can include a lot of definitions depending a bit on how you feel yourself and how other sees it etc.
 
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"like she was a real girl" is just so offensive. i don't understand the point of this thread, it doesn't seem like you actually care what being agender is about anyway so why bother asking
 
Sheila said:
What is more annoying is all those "special snowflake" people withing the lgbtq+ community that gets miffed really easily if people don't recognize out their "trans n-word demisexual british muslim gay aro" personality all day every day and notice it everytime. Like bro that is not how you earn repect, if you know what I mean.

So yeah, just stay cool and you have my respect, I couldn't care less what you are unless you actually do dumb things in the name of it.
Click to expand...

Those are honestly the people I'm referring too.

Same with Lainey, onisons wife. She says "call me they/them" (why I made this post lmao.)
then EVERYONE calls her she, especially in her videos. she called herself a special snowflake, and literally acts like everyone on tumblr... if you struggled with gender, why would you even ALLOW someone to call you she? That's like a transgender person being called their birth name. You just don't do it....

- - - Post Merge - - -

mogyay said:
"like she was a real girl" is just so offensive. i don't understand the point of this thread, it doesn't seem like you actually care what being agender is about anyway so why bother asking
Click to expand...

I even said I AM CONFUSED. I am genuinely confused, I'm sorry, growing up I never had a gay friend, I never knew what transgender was until I was 14, I thought being trans was being born with both reproductive organs until I realized more people came out as trans. That's something my parents never talked to me about... But if I ever have kids, I will make sure to let them know about it. I was always taught to respect people who are gay/lesbian. But I was never informed on people being trans, ever. Even my teacher talked to the class about how being gay isn't okay... It is literally just where I am from.... I'm from a small town in ohio so nobody around here is a part of the community.

And sorry, I will always respect someone who is trans and I didn't mean to be offensive. But he had the male genetalia and you could see it through his pants. He had facial hair as well and was obviously not on hormones. he resembled a man, I should have been more sensitive I'm sorry!

edit: she I'm sorry I'm really not used to this and I know it triggers people.
 
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I can't say I can take onison seriously and I no less knew they had a partner/wife and whatnot. I can see people getting pissed of them though if they are acting all high and mighty about. Just tell people politely what pronoun you want, and answer nicely if people actually ask and don't get pissed back if they forget once or twice. I mean of course you should respect them but if they throw whatever fuss and they don't listen... just no.

I have/had a trans woman friend myself who used to be really ranting and started treating me like I was some kid just because I'm not "properly" educated on all those matters and acted really miffed about everything and anything whenever we talked so yeah..

Back on topic though, I think Bowie and I gave a few of the more common ones around. If you have some source criticism you can probably find good and trustworthy sites online to read more.

- - - Post Merge - - -

mogyay said:
"like she was a real girl" is just so offensive. i don't understand the point of this thread, it doesn't seem like you actually care what being agender is about anyway so why bother asking
Click to expand...

Eh I think op was more confused than trying to be rude. And if someone changed stuff that often it seems a bit fishy and they expect everyone to apply to that just like *snaps fingers* that. I didn't quite understood that sentence anyways to be honest.

Also yeah we didn't get much education on the subject until, maybe high school here so yeah I mostly learned what I know myself so yeah I know what it's coming from small places. And my parents never told me either this or about woo hoo, so eh.
 
Sheila said:
I can't say I can take onison seriously and I no less knew they had a partner/wife and whatnot. I can see people getting pissed of them though if they are acting all high and mighty about. Just tell people politely what pronoun you want, and answer nicely if people actually ask and don't get pissed back if they forget once or twice. I mean of course you should respect them but if they throw whatever fuss and they don't listen... just no.

I have/had a trans woman friend myself who used to be really ranting and started treating me like I was some kid just because I'm not "properly" educated on all those matters and acted really miffed about everything and anything whenever we talked so yeah..

Back on topic though, I think Bowie and I gave a few of the more common ones around. If you have some source criticism you can probably find good and trustworthy sites online to read more.
Click to expand...

hahaha nobody can take onision seriously....
Some trans people really milk the whole "I'm transgender" thing because we are cisgender. If they really want to educate people so they understand more, they need to be calm and nicely explain what it is, and what it means to be trans. Some people get really offended right off bat, and don't even let you be curious. Which is totally okay, not everybody is exposed to this until late in life, like me.

That's honestly why I waited so long to make this thread. I've done some research, but I still don't get it. I probably never will unless I live it myself. I just wanted some outside opinions and you and bowies are my favorite so far.
 
i think its just that you dont know how to identify at the moment? kind of finding yourself i guess? i had a friend who was agender, they were very nice and understanding, i wish i could talk to them again
 
Sheila said:
I can't say I can take onison seriously and I no less knew they had a partner/wife and whatnot. I can see people getting pissed of them though if they are acting all high and mighty about. Just tell people politely what pronoun you want, and answer nicely if people actually ask and don't get pissed back if they forget once or twice. I mean of course you should respect them but if they throw whatever fuss and they don't listen... just no.

I have/had a trans woman friend myself who used to be really ranting and started treating me like I was some kid just because I'm not "properly" educated on all those matters and acted really miffed about everything and anything whenever we talked so yeah..

Back on topic though, I think Bowie and I gave a few of the more common ones around. If you have some source criticism you can probably find good and trustworthy sites online to read more.

- - - Post Merge - - -



Eh I think op was more confused than trying to be rude. And if someone changed stuff that often it seems a bit fishy and they expect everyone to apply to that just like *snaps fingers* that. I didn't quite understood that sentence anyways to be honest.

Also yeah we didn't get much education on the subject until, maybe high school here so yeah I mostly learned what I know myself so yeah I know what it's coming from small places. And my parents never told me either this or about woo hoo, so eh.
Click to expand...

maybe i over-reacted but a lot of what was said can be incredibly hurtful for agender people, as if you're dismissing them as actual people, but it's nice that you're willing to listen to what other people have to say unlike so many people. i mean my parents never sat me down and had a talk about agender people (??) but who am i to dismiss what is a pretty not that hard to grasp concept....
 
helenkeller said:
hahaha nobody can take onision seriously....
Some trans people really milk the whole "I'm transgender" thing because we are cisgender. If they really want to educate people so they understand more, they need to be calm and nicely explain what it is, and what it means to be trans. Some people get really offended right off bat, and don't even let you be curious. Which is totally okay, not everybody is exposed to this until late in life, like me.

That's honestly why I waited so long to make this thread. I've done some research, but I still don't get it. I probably never will unless I live it myself. I just wanted some outside opinions and you and bowies are my favorite so far.
Click to expand...

Yep, trust me they can and then act like people are common plebs because they don't know everything they "should" and think they have the right to be pissed. I'd rather have them explain nice and proper rather than being like edgy teens or angry adults or whatever they might be whenever someone asks and try to learn an understand.

Indeed very fun when you actually ask about pronouns and they actually get angry because of that. Yeah sure I'll disrespect you if you are begging for that *rolls eyes*
 
mogyay said:
maybe i over-reacted but a lot of what was said can be incredibly hurtful for agender people, as if you're dismissing them as actual people, but it's nice that you're willing to listen to what other people have to say unlike so many people. i mean my parents never sat me down and had a talk about agender people (??) but who am i to dismiss what is a pretty not that hard to grasp concept....
Click to expand...

I guess it depends what kind of agender so to speak people define as and how moody they are. For me I don't give a hoot what pronoun people use on me since I'm pretty much used to most of them, lol. I guess some really uptight ones might be miffed though but then if they don't bother to tell they shouldn't throw a fit either.

And, well it is blurry since it can have a lot of definition and takes so for some it might be hard.
 
Sheila said:
What is more annoying is all those "special snowflake" tumblr people withing the lgbtq+ community that gets miffed really easily if people don't recognize out their "trans n-word demisexual british muslim gay aro" personality all day every day and notice it every time. Like bro that is not how you earn respect, if you know what I mean.
Click to expand...

i have a trans friend and i have seen people refuse to call her a girl (she was born as a boy) because she has views on that you cant be trans unless you have gender dysphoria and you can only be male or female. one time it was about her political views too. 95% of people are fine with her though but i have to admit her views are pretty extreme at times on other subjects but it doesnt mean you shame her for being how she identifies for not being in the same opinion zone
 
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