Misconceptions about mental health: Rant & discussion

So I had dinner with a coworker the other day, and I mentioned that I have social anxiety. I normally don't tell people this, but the conversation just went that way somehow. Anyway, his response hurt me/offended me a little bit. He said, "Everyone has social anxiety. And you don't really have it because you hung out with me and you're a server. People with social anxiety would never even talk to anyone or leave their house." Not his exact words, but that was the gist of it. Now, that is a misconception that I'm just so tired of hearing. Those with social anxiety can still function in society. It just takes much more effort and, in my particular situation, means that I have to suppress multiple panic attacks almost daily. I serve because it is a job that forces me to socialise. This means I get to face my fears every day that I work, which is incredibly stressful and hard for me, but if I did not face these fears, I would have a very lonely, dysfunctional life. At heart, I am an extrovert. This means I love being around people and I get absolutely depressed and lonely on my own. However, because I am also afraid of social interaction, I will never really take initiative to go out and meet people, or even leave my house. There are times I didn't leave my house for MONTHS. I was depressed and sad but I didn't want to see people even as my heart longed to be around them. Yes, this is contradictory, but just because someone has social anxiety, it doesn't mean they HATE people or that they don't want to have friends or go outside. It is like wanting to play soccer but you have a broken leg. There is something holding you back from the life you want. BUT if you force yourself to get better, to heal, you can achieve some part of that life. (That might be a weird analogy, but it's the only thing I can think about right now.) Also, I'm just talking about my experience with social anxiety. Everybody is different so this might not apply to others.

Anyway, that was my rant. I was just hurt and I immediately regretted mentioning it to him. Whenever I open up about it, people have this same reaction, or they just tell me I'm shy and how they all used to be shy but are now outgoing, blah blah. It's just not the same thing. I'm tired of people who obviously never researched it, trying to tell me that they know better than I do what I have to deal with daily.

TLDR: So are there any misconceptions about your mental health issues that you would like to address? It doesn't have to be social anxiety. Just anything that people always seem to get wrong about what you go through.

Yes; mainly like people with BPD are inherently abusive or always abusive. When it's literally just ppl using the label to abuse others so they can get away with it. Or that dysphoria and being trans is rlly fun and cool when it's literally not.

I have social anxiety too and I definitely feel you on all of that. I've canceled a lot of job interviews and an internship last minute due to panic attacks and I could never tell my friends the real reason. Luckily I have a few friends who understand what it's like, or they at least try to understand!

I hope you'll continue to stay strong with your job. I know how hard it is to just get out there and act like you don't have this insane anxiety around people ;___;

I also have a friend with BPD and she told me how horrible it is and how terribly they're perceived 8C it's really unfair for them.

toonafeesh said:

I have social anxiety too and I definitely feel you on all of that. I've canceled a lot of job interviews and an internship last minute due to panic attacks and I could never tell my friends the real reason. Luckily I have a few friends who understand what it's like, or they at least try to understand!

I hope you'll continue to stay strong with your job. I know how hard it is to just get out there and act like you don't have this insane anxiety around people ;___;

I also have a friend with BPD and she told me how horrible it is and how terribly they're perceived 8C it's really unfair for them.

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So relatable. I've turned down job interviews as well and I always try to justify it as something else in my mind, but really I just started panicking and needed to get out of the situation. I've also quit a job (serving as well) because my anxiety there was crazy and the environment was pretty hostile towards me and that just didn't mix with my social anxiety. I need people to be friendly to help calm my nerves. I wish I could say I have friends who understand, but I haven't met someone who does tbh. But that can still change Trying to stay positive about everything! But it really helps when the people online can relate ^_^ It just isn't the same as being able to relate in real life though. I think people really need to research about these things before making assumptions.

There's just so much stigma and ignorance surrounding these issues, and if people going through these problems have no support system, it can be really hard to live day to day. There really needs to be more education on this subject in schools. If I had known what my problem was in high school, I would have done better. Instead, I just lived in constant fear and always thought there was something wrong with me, and that I was just dumb. Education on mental health would have helped me, and I'm sure it would help sooo many struggling teens with issues that they don't even realise they have. It would also help others understand and create a world that's more accepting and less ignorant. At least, that's just one solution that I can think of.

Snip.

I hate when people tell people with depression to just 'be happy.' it's much more complex than that. I also hate when people say that depression is just sadness. There is a heck of a lot more to it and people who have it don't just be sad the whole time.

lol people suck. my favourite things ppl say are that everyone w a mental illness is a Crazy Serial Killer or w/e, that u can just Choose to stop being mentally ill, that suicide and being suicidal is selfish, and that the only thing u need in order to stop being mentslly ill is to talk to someone. lol

pawpatrolbab said:

Yes; mainly like people with BPD are inherently abusive or always abusive. When it's literally just ppl using the label to abuse others so they can get away with it. Or that dysphoria and being trans is rlly fun and cool when it's literally not.

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bc being trans is a mental illness.......

I'm sorry to hear about your experience ; ; It's very insensitive and ignorant when others try to claim they know how you feel...

I have only vented to close friends/family about this sort of topic, for the above reason, and because some people will assume having a mental illness is for attention or being 'quirky'. Even if someone doesn't directly say it, I can't help but assume it's what they might be thinking.

Yeah, I could probably give you quite a few posts with Asperger's/ASD misconception if you want, but I'll let it stay at a few to not go too insane.

Firstly, this thing that we might have "super powers" to use for stuff and could give us a specific job and whatnot (even though I've seen it more common for ADHD people). Like, yes we might prefer to have in-depth conversation, being good at organizing or whatever that kinds you hear about, but far from everyone has it or can use it properly in such environment or just put it to good use in general.

Not everyone needs breathing breaks and stuff either, I'm quite the opposite so I can get bored too easily and lose concentration and switch subject quick if I find something too "meh" and just jump onto something new without breaks.... you know it.

I do agree with social exhaustion thing though, if people talk to me IRL randomly too much I can be pretty tired and not always show it in a good way (or if I do they don't really notice lol).

Arize said:

There really needs to be more education on this subject in schools. If I had known what my problem was in high school, I would have done better. Instead, I just lived in constant fear and always thought there was something wrong with me, and that I was just dumb. Education on mental health would have helped me, and I'm sure it would help sooo many struggling teens with issues that they don't even realise they have.

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THIS SO MUCH. I only learned what social anxiety was like a few years ago and it's been helping me cope a bit since I know what the problem is now. Not just with anxiety, but other mental illnesses too.

here are some ridiculous misconceptions.

when people think sexuality is a mental illness and poverty is a mental state of mind, and that its completley possible to simply will/pray yourself to life, back to health on will and prayers alone.

when people/media use mental illness as an excuse and reason for the cause of murder, only when its convenient/to protect the image of said person.

idk, but one of the four professionals ive seen thinks i have aspergers, im in denial to this day but it's actually really obvious so i kind of go with it but everybody around me doesn't realize i have it probably so when i say something out of line or weird IRL it'll be strange also i have difficulty empathizing with other people and i don't understand a lot of **** people do but other than that i function amazingly. and im not insane and obsessive, i don't sit in a dark room and rock back and forth, like a lot of people might think. so maybe it would be nice if ppl understood that more

aaand kids with ADD that get good grades, everybody thinks we don't have it, still bc like when i struggle in school because of my organization or focus skills ppl are always like lol but you'll memorize t after reading it once XD ***** what if I can't sit down and read it even once have u ever thought about that! but none of the professionals I've seen have picked up on it because I'm always very unwilling to see them and they won't be able to assess me properly unless i tell them or something. oh well ill deal. my dad knows about my problem anyway

My mental illnesses' misconceptions:
ADHD: When people say that you can control it and that you're just not paying attention. I don't pay attention and muck about in school because it just does not interest me. I prefer to put my attention into writing stories, reading books and reading about true crime and psychology.
Social anxiety/Generalised anxiety disorder: Like you said, I long to be with people but I just can't because of my social anxiety. I also hate people with a fiery, everlasting passion, but I want to have someone love me and I want to love them back. When people said I don't have GAD/social anxiety because I can muck about with people I know ... why? I feel lonely in crowds; I can't do exams around people; I get panic attacks whenever I'm around too many people, even if I know them. You don't know what it's like to have GAD/social anxiety.
Schizoaffective: So schizoaffective is basically a mental disorder catagorised by a mixture of bipolar/schizophrenia and because it's been the colder months in the southern hemisphere I've been really depressed (proven that if you have a mood disorder, you'll be more depressed during the colder months) and I don't know, I've just been so suicidal. Then there's my recent ex-girlfriend who broke up with me because she couldn't handle my really dire moods (despite saying she could before we got into a relationship). She compared me to her brother and said he's 10x worse than me -- you should NEVER compare people with mental illnesses -- and I just don't understand. People have been telling me to snap out of it. I can't. It's impossible. My medication has been working because if I wasn't on it, I'd be dead by now to be frank. Then back before I was medicated, I had problems with psychosis so much. I used to believe that I had telepowers (telepathy, telekinesis, etc.) and I heard voices. People would always tell me it's my overactive imagination, like, yeah okay. If it was my imagination, I'd stop doing it when it scared me. ****ing arseholes. Sorry for going on a bit of a rant there, I just haven't got many people to talk to about this lol.
Schizotypal: Schizotypal is a mental illness catagorised by fear of abandonment, severe trust issues, severe social anxiety, psychosis, eccentricity, etc. Another reason my recent ex-girlfriend broke it off with me is because of my lack of trust in anybody. I can't help it, and she says I can. If I could, I would've trusted her. Then when people laugh at me for having odd mannerisms, strange clothing, strange ideas, etc. they make fun of me for it. I wish I could help it, but I can't. Jesus Christ, dude. People don't understand. Not many misconceptions on this but I just needed to rant a bit.

ALSO, SORRY FOR RANTING. I JUST NEED TO GET THIS OFF MY CHEST.

That's a really common misconception! It's so dismissive to say, "Everyone has social anxiety." I remember when I was depressed and suicidal at uni, people would constantly say, "Everyone gets depressed." It was neither helpful nor reassuring and it made me hide my state to everyone, including my friends. Your friends comment that you don't REALLY have it is also common. Yes, some people are more high-functioning than others but that doesn't mean that you don't. My mom would constantly tell me that she was "also shy at my age" but that she got "over it" with time. I keep trying to convince her it's not the same but I don't think she'll ever learn. I don't get into my history even if I'm getting close with that person unless I know they have some knowledge about mental illnesses and have shown to be understanding and open-minded.

Corrie said:

I hate when people tell people with depression to just 'be happy.' it's much more complex than that. I also hate when people say that depression is just sadness. There is a heck of a lot more to it and people who have it don't just be sad the whole time.

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i hate it when i'm guilt tripped into being happy. people have said to me things such as "you have shelter, food, friends, etc and some people don't! consider yourself lucky" like i don't choose to be like this really.

Cherub said:

i hate it when i'm guilt tripped into being happy. people have said to me things such as "you have shelter, food, friends, etc and some people don't! consider yourself lucky" like i don't choose to be like this really.

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lmao yeah, like yes i have a home and food but i also have depression so ?? Shut Up ???? like darn dude it shouldn't be that difficult to understand that having a depressive disorder makes u depressed.,,,

I mean there are misconceptions about almost any concept you can think of in the world. Humans aren't perfect and it's likely no one actually has it "right". Education and talking about it help us get closer to a realistic world view though.

The stereotype that bipolar people are crazies is so wrong. For one thing, it's a spectrum and it's worse for some more than others, and if the person is medicated and seeing a therapist, their illness can absolutely be under control. The "crazy lunatic" myth comes from bipolar people who are going through uncontrolled manic episodes, and it's temporary so it's not even reflective of that person's actual personality. As for me personally, I have type 2 so my episodes are much more mild but alternatively the illness is more chronic in nature than type 1 since they can have periods of wellness, and the episodes themselves are rapid cycling. So I've never had a full blown manic episode so if I never told someone I had bipolar they probably would never know.

tl;dr bipolar doesn't mean crazy, just unwell. (kind of like that Matchbox 20 song )

It's not so much a misconception about a mental illness I have but instead just in general, and I don't know if saying this will come across rude or not, but the misconception that you will overcome or can be cured of your mental illness. Of course there are mental illnesses that people will recover from and never have an issue with again, but for me at least, I know it'll never go away, through therapy, medication or anything else. It's definitely better at times, and there are things that have helped, and do currently help me, it's not always terrible and I have gotten much better at dealing with certain things over the years, but it'll always be there, whether I'm currently having a bad time or not, it's not going anywhere (unfortunately).

My grandma doesn't believe in mental illness, so she says a lot of frustrating things to me. I have depression and bad anxiety, and it's really hard on me. She constantly says to me though:

"why are you depressed? you need to cut it out and think happy thoughts instead of being so down all the time. besides, what do you have to be depressed about? you live a nice life. there is no reason to be sad!"

"why are you anxious? what are you so nervous about? just relax and you'll be fine! stop worrying!"