Women Proposing to Men?

I'm a woman who proposed to her husband. I don't share it too often but the few times I talk about it people seem delighted by the idea.

On a side note my husband and I met while working together at Gamestop. We're living the gamer geek dream!

gender roles and stereotypes are gross and i hate all expectations that come w gender. i hate a lot about gender and how cishets do it tbh but everything about cishet marriage "culture" makes me want 2 die

visibleghost said:

gender roles and stereotypes are gross and i hate all expectations that come w gender. i hate a lot about gender and how cishets do it tbh but everything about cishet marriage "culture" makes me want 2 die

Click to expand...

No offense taken I guess?

Honestly, these needless gender roles about what gender should do what/be like what are ridiculous and should be left to die with the dinosaurs.

Edit:

I want to add that I, personally, am not that interested in marriage. That's not to say I'm 100% opposed to it; if the person I was with really wanted to get married than I'd probably be fine with it! I just resent the idea that marriage is somehow the be all end all of a relationship and that if you don't get married, than you're "afraid of commitment". If I love somebody, I don't see why I need some piece of paper to prove it... :U

I'm not straight so idk if I'm allowed to answer it, but the idea of the guy having to propose is just silly. I don't think proposing should come out of the blue either, my boyfriend and I talked about it a lot before it actually happened.

TDLR; screw what society deems "normal" or the right way to propose, if it's what you wanna do then do it

Nah, I'd want the dude to propose to me lmao

Soda Fox said:

No offense taken I guess?

Click to expand...

do you feel attacked or what lol

Another gay person speaking but honestly that whole thing with "the man has to propose!" is so otherworldly and nonsensical to me and I'd ask why it's a thing but I'm sure it has to do with some wildly sexist history to it. I think the concept of proposal is bizarre to begin with unless it was a topic that was heavily discussed beforehand, which is also why I don't get when women are "tired of waiting", like just talk to him about it then? Is communication not a thing with you guys?

Also sidenote I think its really funny how The Straights? have given this weird role to the men and then these same exact men are the ones going "Don't get married! It's a trap!" and making wedding toppers like these and wearing these shirts, like did you wanna marry her or not

gyro said:

Also sidenote I think its really funny how The Straights™ have given this weird role to the men and then these same exact men are the ones going "Don't get married! It's a trap!" and making wedding toppers like these and wearing these shirts, like did you wanna marry her or not

Click to expand...

Lmao, speaking of this: I've seen these kind of themes as real pictures where the woman is holding the key and the guy is like handcuffed down? like XD

gyro said:

Another gay person speaking but honestly that whole thing with "the man has to propose!" is so otherworldly and nonsensical to me and I'd ask why it's a thing but I'm sure it has to do with some wildly sexist history to it. I think the concept of proposal is bizarre to begin with unless it was a topic that was heavily discussed beforehand, which is also why I don't get when women are "tired of waiting", like just talk to him about it then? Is communication not a thing with you guys?

Also sidenote I think its really funny how The Straights™ have given this weird role to the men and then these same exact men are the ones going "Don't get married! It's a trap!" and making wedding toppers like these and wearing these shirts, like did you wanna marry her or not

Click to expand...

lol thats exaclty what i mean like everything about The Tru Way Of Marriage is really Bad. why are people getting married if all they do is complain about their partner and yalk about how life was so much better before they got married

gyro said:

Another gay person speaking but honestly that whole thing with "the man has to propose!" is so otherworldly and nonsensical to me and I'd ask why it's a thing but I'm sure it has to do with some wildly sexist history to it. I think the concept of proposal is bizarre to begin with unless it was a topic that was heavily discussed beforehand, which is also why I don't get when women are "tired of waiting", like just talk to him about it then? Is communication not a thing with you guys?

Also sidenote I think its really funny how The Straights™ have given this weird role to the men and then these same exact men are the ones going "Don't get married! It's a trap!" and making wedding toppers like these and wearing these shirts, like did you wanna marry her or not

Click to expand...

The whole mindset about men being afraid of commitment needs to go away. It's honestly portrayed to the extreme through television. I personally hate seeing those kinds of toppers or jokes associated with men running away at the sound of hearing marriage. I find it to be pretty sexist.

It kind of reminds me of Tomodachi Life.

DarkDesertFox said:

The whole mindset about men being afraid of commitment needs to go away. It's honestly portrayed to the extreme through television. I personally hate seeing those kinds of toppers or jokes associated with men running away at the sound of hearing marriage. I find it to be pretty sexist.

Click to expand...

I second this. I'm a girl, but every time I see this I have to remind myself that that's not reality when you find a decent-minded guy that you become comfortable and best friends with. A lot of things the media does is like this, and it just reinforces and encourages the notion.

- - - Post Merge - - -

Alien51 said:

It kind of reminds me of Tomodachi Life.

Click to expand...

Lmao. Love this.

ams said:

I find the idea of proposal in general to be a little outdated. I'd prefer to just make the decision mutually with a partner. In fact if a guy proposed to me I'd probably be a little turned off by it.

Click to expand...

^ Me. Especially so if he were to talk to my father first for "permission" as I've seen in so many tv shows/movies/very old-fashioned families I know. Not only would that be ridiculously insulting to me, personally (I know not everyone!), but it would be essentially the death-knell on our relationship. For him to have so drastically misunderstood me and everything about me so as to think that I would enter into an engagement for marriage without having had many thorough conversations about it first.. yeah, no. Worse still, I know people with similar mindsets who've had a partner *knowingly* go behind their back to get "permission" first, for the sake of tradition. That has never ended well.

I have no problems with proposing if we decide we want to get married. So long as we're both on the same page, neither of us would care who asked whom for the record lol. But I don't know if I'll get married. It's not really a thing in my family, thankfully, and the laws are pretty good here about being in a defacto relationship (only legally required to be living together for 2 years to get much - but not all - of the benefits of marriage). It seems like an awful lot of headaches and money to go through just for a fancy party. I love cake, and dressing up, but I don't need a wedding for that lol.

We did start looking at marriage when we were possibly relocating to America for his work, though. Thankfully that did not go ahead. It wouldn't be the end of the world to be forced to get married under circumstances like that, for either of us, but we'd rather not have our choices made for us.

So, to each their own. If other people have any issue with how you and your partner/s choose to do things in your relationship - then that is literally *their* issue. Sad for them, but please don't let that kind of small-mindedness impact your happiness. You'll never be able to make them all happy with your choices, and trying to is usually a futile effort that ends in tears.

brookesierra7 said:

Lmao, speaking of this: I've seen these kind of themes as real pictures where the woman is holding the key and the guy is like handcuffed down? like XD

Click to expand...

Those too, I'll never understand this trend at all lol

DarkDesertFox said:

The whole mindset about men being afraid of commitment needs to go away. It's honestly portrayed to the extreme through television. I personally hate seeing those kinds of toppers or jokes associated with men running away at the sound of hearing marriage. I find it to be pretty sexist.

Click to expand...

I don't really watch TV so I'll just take your word on that but yeah I've heard the "Oh it's just a joke!" and like sure, but it's a really... weird and kind of horrible joke to me. I don't know why anyone would wanna joke about being trapped by their partner/spouse, or how horrible their relationship is. Especially if they also say their partner is in the role that "shouldn't propose".

"Oh yeah my wife is evil... that's why I bought her a $500 ring and asked her to marry me after a really expensive fancy dinner because it is my duty" ?????????

DarkDesertFox said:

The whole mindset about men being afraid of commitment needs to go away. It's honestly portrayed to the extreme through television. I personally hate seeing those kinds of toppers or jokes associated with men running away at the sound of hearing marriage. I find it to be pretty sexist.

Click to expand...

Well on the other end too, it sucks that people consider marriage to be the end of the relationship, that they are bound to hate each other, that the girl will get fat now that he's stuck, yadda yadda, like I want to get married but there's a lot of stuff that I don't like about the ideals people place on it.

- - - Post Merge - - -

brookesierra7 said:

Lmao, speaking of this: I've seen these kind of themes as real pictures where the woman is holding the key and the guy is like handcuffed down? like XD

Click to expand...

Kinky.

Idk I think it's fine either way all I know is personally I'd never propose to my boyfriend cause I want the moment to be about him proclaiming his love for me lmao

DarkDesertFox said:

The whole mindset about men being afraid of commitment needs to go away. It's honestly portrayed to the extreme through television. I personally hate seeing those kinds of toppers or jokes associated with men running away at the sound of hearing marriage. I find it to be pretty sexist.

Click to expand...

That's how I feel though haha. I am the problem.

I have no issue with a woman proposing. But, if I was proposed to I would likely reject it. That's because I'm uncertain about marriage. If I marry, I would want it to be because of my proposal. Selfish? Use of double standards? Childish? Yes. It is. That is how I feel, though

On some things I hold traditional views, I'd say this is one of them, for myself. I don't really care what other people do as they're not hurting me. I don't think it matters too much anymore.

i dont mind it, but i'd probably never propose because it'd be like
"i wont propose unless you wanna"
"well, i dont unless you wanna"
"do you want to?"
"i dont know, do you?"
"do YOU?"

:,)