that feeling when you feel stuck and your friends are progressing

HungryForCereal

HungryForCereal

if it was you I'd never want to leave...
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you guys know what im talking about? two of my friends got their dream jobs, some got into relationships that seem like they would last long, one went abroad to further studies. and the rest just seem like they already have a solid plan for their future. As their friend im happy for them but im unhappy at the same time. I just feel like im not progressing in life at all. im still trying to figure out what i wanna do. just feel so lousy inside like im being left behind and alone. And as a person who suffers from mild depression im not taking this very well. Anyone going through this or went through it?
 
I'm the progressing friend :/ all I can say is you gotta set some goals for yourself so you can feel like you're progressing too :)
 
In a way. The majority of my friends are 3-6 years older than me so they are typically much further along career wise. But we aspire for different things in our lives so I try not to compare ourselves.
 
Everyone progresses at their own pace. Don't worry about how much other people have accomplished. Look at how much you've grown as a person. Look at how much you've learned. You don't need to beat yourself up, you need to encourage yourself. I know it can be hard to show yourself love when you have depression (believe me, I know all about it), but it's important to try.

Try to cut back on negative self-talk if you can. If you wouldn't tolerate someone saying it about your best friend, don't say it about yourself. If you'd question whether someone cared about you if they said it to you, don't say it about yourself. You deserve kindness. You deserve patience. You'll come into your own if you give yourself a chance.
 
I know exactly how you feel. I've been through the same thing a lot in my life. But, here's the thing:
Every human being is intrinsically different. There's no set pace or schedule you have to adhere to, and you shouldn't.
If you try to rush things you might end up headlong in a situation that will hurt you more in the long run.
I know it's hard when everyone around you seems to be moving forward and you're standing still, but I can assure you you're not actually standing still. You're growing and changing every day at your own pace.

Focus on what you can do and how you can advance and improve your own situation, not worrying about what others are doing. someone else achieving more than you doesn't make your own achievements invalid.

Just keep going and be kind to yourself. Don't beat yourself up and especially don't compare yourself to others. Remember that comparison is the thief of joy, and slow and steady wins the race;)

- - - Post Merge - - -

Also, I don't know what your career path is, but maybe this will help you? It's geared towards artists, but even if that's not your path a lot of this can probably still help hopefully. :)
 
yup, i know exactly what you're feeling. a lot of my friends are doing really great things with their lives and i'm proud of them, of course, but at the same time, i kinda feel left behind. i kinda just feel like a failure tbh. and i know that everyone progresses at their own pace and all, but i feel like i never will. :|
honestly, i haven't really got any advice for you. i wish i did, but i don't. we're kinda just in the same boat i guess.
 
Definitely do not compare yourself to them. Everyone grows at a different rate and everyone has different paths. As long as you have goals and are gradually working at them every day, then you are a winner in my eyes. It's when you mope at your pity party and do nothing to help future you is when you're behind. You can't depend on miracles to make your life better. Only you can.
 
me in japanese right now haha... theyre all getting it and speaking almost fluently for where we are in class and i cant even remember anything and i hold up the whole class... i understand why im where i am though, i barely study so thats obviously the problem. its definitely not something im doing ever again since it was optional, but it still feels strange to see other people progress and me be here left behind. it makes sense though its just not something im interested in
 
We're all just faking it and doing our best. Some are better at faking it than others. Everyone struggles. Some times are good, some bad.
 
I understand.. I kinda got behind in high school cuz of my depression getting in the way. Now all my friends are in college and progressing with their lives. They have jobs too and money, and I'm here just kinda slowly moving along. It gets me down sometimes, but it's gonns be okay! Everyone moves through life at their own pace. You'll figure out whatcha wanna do, and its okay if it takes time :)
 
TBH me and almost all of my friends feel stuck too, except for one who makes computer models that look better than real life.
 
yeah all the time. My goals are different and take longer because I am admittedly not as intelligent as my friends. I'm not being too hard on myself by saying I'm dumb, honestly. Or using it as a crutch.
 
not everyone in life is going to get their dream jobs or be in a relationship or achieve their long life goals at similar times, some might get to that part in their life before you do if ever. what you have to do is not to compare your life to other people's (because obviously you'll be disappointed, feeling down and stuck like you're not improving) and to just focus on making the best out of it and to never expect miracles to happen. in fact you could really find happiness and satisfaction in things other than what you mentioned, my bf said a person could live their life eating and sleeping and still be much happier than a person who had done more in their life lol, because happiness is a choice.
 
I get overwhelmed too easily and it has always affected my schooling. I'm in college now, but I have to take two to three classes a semester because I have to pace myself. I've been doing fine but literally everyone I know is taking at max 5 classes every semester. All my friends are close to graduating and I'm still only in the middle of college, with me failing certain required classes that I'm bad at.
 
Everyone's life experience is different, there are a kajillion factors that differ your experience from theirs. Be happy for them, and look forward to your progression but don't put a damper on your experience for it being different than others'!
 
me and my 2 closest friends are on the same boat. we're falling behind however the rest of my friends are either doing really well in college or uni, or have jobs they've really been looking forward to
 
I'm the left behind friend but it doesn't really bother me,my friend deserves all the happiness she can get and I'm happy for her, my time will come☺
 
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