i GOTTA VENT!!!!

I'm sorry but I have nowhere and no one else to vent this to where someone not only may care, but will empathize/understand...

Ive stated it before...I allow my 7yo daughter to play the human chars. on my main village (we have 3 including my mayor whom is named and modeled after her <3 she mostly plays as Oliver the boy villager we have)...and she enjoys going to the Southern Isles to CT and touring with others. My daughter is sweet, and trusting to a fault sometimes (I think her being on the autism spectrum has something to do with it...shes waaaaay to compassionate, trusting, caring, etc)..weve had the talks about internet safety and she abides by everything I ask and say regarding it.
HOWEVER.....theres always those people on the island whom seem to target and harass her...its usually girls that are slightly older, and boys around that age too...(ill say its prolly 8-12)...and tonight...as per usual...a bell beggar was harassing her...she being who she is...she "felt bad" for him...I kept telling her to tell him to earn bells like she does (SHE NEVER ASKS FOR BELLS...shes always fishing and catching bugs...I don't think it would ever even occur to her to ask someone for bells)...she asks me if she can give him 100 bells. I say ok fine and so she gives the kid the bells. He starts saying VERY SEXUALLY INAPPROPRIATE REMARKS to my ******* e7 yo daughter. Threatening her...telling her he could hack her IP address from her 3dsxl and come to our home..kill me..rape me...and kill me *her mom*, it wasn't until she was HYSTERICALY CRYING that she came and showed me the stuff he was saying.
when I asked why she didn't block him, she said he claims that if she blocks him it will give him the DS' info that's registered to us. So she was scared to block him.

Of course this kid is full of it.I was so pissed, and I blocked him. I could care less about losing the bells but its people like this lil **** stain that ruins the islands for kids like my daughter. I don't understand WHY people bell beg, steal, ruin other peoples towns and the like I just don't get it. Why even play? whats the point of this behavior? I mean OBVIOUSLY these people are kids, but chalking it up to "kids will be kids" is BS, cause my daughters a kid and she doesn't do stuff like that! Its frightening to think of the sexual harassment that goes on!!!

Also, not too long ago when I myself playing as My Mayor, was on the islands, there were a few of us...and one was this girl who was if I recall she was like 13....maybe 15? anyways she was young...and she kept like yelling and cursing at ANY GUY who entered the island. Saying really horrid things, and I was ignoring her...fishing, touring, do my thing...that is till I see her saying that she was raped on the island by some other player. Giving out his name and town....I simply said that its impossible to be "raped" on the island or in the game, and asked if she meant he was sexually harassing or threatening her..she said "NO" called me a moron and stated her char had been raped. -.-

I (being a rape survivor myself) DO NOT FIND THAT FUNNY AT ALL. I DONT CARE HOW OLD THE PERSON IS. RAPE IS NOT A JOKE, ITS NOT A PLOY TO GAIN BELLS (which turns out is what she was trying to do, and it later came out that the guys **oh yes multiple, cause apparently she claims its some diff guy every time she goes to the island and gives out the name and town of guys she knows from her school** she said has done this, she knew and was mad cause none of them would go out with her....and she felt she deserved bells...so yea...I mean WHAT IN THE ACTUAL ****?!?!?!?!?! I was/am horrified. I just don't get it....I never in a MILLION YEARS would EVER think id come across stuff like this on here, I dunno why? Maybe the sweetness, pureness, and cutenesss nature of the game blinded me into thinking the type of people who would play said game may have the same type of 'ness' to them? I dunno...I just know I am disgusted and its not like I'm gonna let this stop myself or my daughter from enjoying the game...but it does taint it a tad.

END RANT.

I've ran into some toxic people on the island, on the rare occasions that I do go to Club Tortimer, usually island hopping in search for an item.
Terrible what your daughter had to witness. I'm glad they included that quick leave option inside the hut so you don't have to worry about being trapped there.

That's why I only play with others on here and on the Anino animal crossing community. And yeah, the islands really terrible sometimes. Bell beggers are the main reason why I hate going there. I mean its night time, go catch a golden stag or something! Plus that's why I'm nice to everybody on the island. Especially to kids, I don't wanna ruin there run while they play the game. I just wish the island had an age group or something, that way it might be a little bit better for people. Hopefully in the next game stuff can be improved for others (like actually ban someone from the island permanently then just block them).

It's so terrible your daughter had to experience that. Truly sorry to hear this.. I've had bad experiences myself but this is on another level. They went too far.

That's really messed up, seriously, the girl who did that... hopefully that doesn't happen to you again

That's absolutely terrible. I would be totally mortified not just as your daughter, but as a parent. I can't believe that people say such things with disregard like that. Especially in a game like this, which is designed to be relaxing, fun, and to build friendships. I think the best course of action from now on would simply be to avoid the club and have her only wifi with people she knows personally, or members of TBT who are trustworthy. (the wifi ratings on the sight are such a blessing.)

I'm very sorry you had to go through this. I've heard horrible things about CT, which is why I've never gotten it on any copy of my game.

7 seems way too young to be playing with others online unsupervised. Can't she just stay in your town or your own island? Just fish and play in safety. Not sure what you expected. You go to the island as a girl and get creeped on. Little do they know we're old enough to be their mom.

I don't think your daughter should visit CT. You just don't know what kind of people she'll run into. I've heard a lot of CT bad experiences, and this is the worst I've heard.. So sorry this happened to her. I've ran into adult pervert men on the Islands, some really bad mouthed teens, and people who try to get personal info from me.

That's severely messed up, and I'm sorry to hear that. I'm glad I never purchased the Club Tortimer invitation in my games.

I agree with the above posters and don't think it's a good idea for your daughter to go to CT.

(Oh crap, I double posted. could a moderator please delete this?)

That's disgusting! I only use Club Tortimer to Island Hop. It may be more of a pain, but if I want to do tours with other players or anything, I'll just invite people into my town and we can visit my own island in peace.

What a terrible experience. I'm so sorry that happened to your daughter and to you as a mother.

I'm an early childhood educator and I get asked a lot about how parents (of all ages) should handle their child/ren wanting to play games online with others. I am firmly of the belief that children benefit from having age + developmental stage appropriate interactions with "strangers" both online just as they do in real life.

I would not recommend a 7 year old have unsupervised time on CT in ACNL purely for their own protection. Even without any diagnosis like autism to consider, there are just too many ways for a random player to completely ruin a child's experience of the game. It's infuriating to me that we need to limit the activities children can enjoy by themselves simply because some people are ****wits, but I need to work with the world we have instead of the world I wish we had.

What I recommend is that children at this age enjoy these experiences whilst being supervised by a responsible party. This supervision doesn't need to be constant and direct, there's no need to be looking over their shoulder every second they are playing! I have sat on the couch reading a book whilst a 7 year old explored CT, just keeping an eye on body language from my peripheral vision, and only interacting when asked unless there was a problem. This wasn't my child and they were playing my game for only a short time, but that's the kind of supervision I mean.

By spending time slowly helping them grow their understanding of what is okay and what is not okay in these spaces, and how to deal with the varied situations that occur when playing with random strangers, valuable trust and knowledge is built up between you - and your child benefits enormously from this. As you both become more comfortable with this way of playing, you'll be able to concentrate more on doing your own thing whilst she plays nearby.

---

Just realised I've written an essay, yikes! Hopefully you find a solution that works for you both so that your daughter doesn't have that kind of experience again.

On line play in any game has this issue, its probably the anonymity that makes people behave so badly.
You have no idea at all of the age/gender of other players on there, they can say they are a 12 year old girl when in fact its a 35 year old man. As other posters have said I wouldn't let a young player go to CT island unsupervised I would be beside her as she plays.

Even as an older adult I can't take CT islands - it upsets me, even if the other player just prevents me from leaving. My heart starts to beat fast & its too stressful.
There is no real advantage to going to CT islands apart from the exclusive items.

If you would like your daughter to play with other players then firstly I would take real life friends/relatives (great way of keeping in touch over long distances) or via a good site like this one. You could ask if there is another adult player who has a young child who would also like to play - but be aware young children tend to be slightly clumsier/rougher in their play - ie will chop trees, run through flowers, buy everything from your shops, and think nothing at all of it.

That's so HORRID!
I'm so so sorry for what happened to you and your daughter, she sounds like a really nice kid who treats everyone kindly and I praise that because most kids nowadays think it's okay to swear, mistreat their parents and elders, lie, steal, cheat, and will do almost anything to be spoiled by their parents.

I visit the islands quite a lot since I do enjoy talking to random people and have met some awesome people through it. I'm at the age though where I'm older than everyone else and wont let myself be affected by any of their crap. Unfortunately I have encountered a LOT of *******s while playing and not even rarely. I get them pretty often! I've had guys come up to me with sexual remarks, I've seen a guy and a girl hit on each other and then trade personal information like phone numbers. I've seen a hell of a lot of bullying, beggers etc. I called out a guy on his bs when he was harassing other users. He basically admitted not having any interest in the game whatsoever, just enjoyed annoying kids which is pretty messed up. Unfortunately from my experience it's the younger people that get most affected. Often you'll get younger kids who talk like younger kids and they'll act like kids and the other people on the island are older and will target them for well... being a kid??? So I fully agree with what everyone else is saying, don't let her play until she's old enough or supervise her while she's playing. Club Tortimer has one of the worst communities I've ever seen.

SilkSpectre said:

7 seems way too young to be playing with others online unsupervised. Can't she just stay in your town or your own island? Just fish and play in safety. Not sure what you expected. You go to the island as a girl and get creeped on. Little do they know we're old enough to be their mom.

Click to expand...

Lemme clarify something....My daughter is NEVER UNSUPERVISED when played online...EVER. She sits RIGHT BESIDE ME, but this particular night (last night) I was a tab preoccupied with my 2yo who has a horrible cold and pink eye at the moment...so I was tending to her when this all transpired. It all happened quite quickly....I blocked the kid and had her leave the island. She NEVER goes to CT without me being present.

I'm so sorry that happened hugs. I don't have internet at home but even if I did I've heard enough about the island to never go even I could. I wouldn't have your child go anymore not worth it.

amanda1983 said:

What a terrible experience. I'm so sorry that happened to your daughter and to you as a mother.

I'm an early childhood educator and I get asked a lot about how parents (of all ages) should handle their child/ren wanting to play games online with others. I am firmly of the belief that children benefit from having age + developmental stage appropriate interactions with "strangers" both online just as they do in real life.

I would not recommend a 7 year old have unsupervised time on CT in ACNL purely for their own protection. Even without any diagnosis like autism to consider, there are just too many ways for a random player to completely ruin a child's experience of the game. It's infuriating to me that we need to limit the activities children can enjoy by themselves simply because some people are ****wits, but I need to work with the world we have instead of the world I wish we had.

What I recommend is that children at this age enjoy these experiences whilst being supervised by a responsible party. This supervision doesn't need to be constant and direct, there's no need to be looking over their shoulder every second they are playing! I have sat on the couch reading a book whilst a 7 year old explored CT, just keeping an eye on body language from my peripheral vision, and only interacting when asked unless there was a problem. This wasn't my child and they were playing my game for only a short time, but that's the kind of supervision I mean.

By spending time slowly helping them grow their understanding of what is okay and what is not okay in these spaces, and how to deal with the varied situations that occur when playing with random strangers, valuable trust and knowledge is built up between you - and your child benefits enormously from this. As you both become more comfortable with this way of playing, you'll be able to concentrate more on doing your own thing whilst she plays nearby.

---

Just realised I've written an essay, yikes! Hopefully you find a solution that works for you both so that your daughter doesn't have that kind of experience again.

Click to expand...

I do supervise.. ALL THE TIME. We have had our fair share of negative experiences on CT, with the likes of bell beggars and obnoxious kids just being annoying but YES this was THE WORST experience weve had there EVER.
I DO NOT permit my child to do ANYTHING ONLINE without myself or my husband present...for instance she likes to play ROBLOX on our xbox1 and she likes Mario kart 8 online...and we play WITH HER...she NEVER plays it alone...and if I'm being honest...she doesn't seem to WANT to play it alone..for the very reason of you never know who is behind the screen. In this day in age you HAVE to educate your children at a young age about the dangers on the internet and online any/everything...and we have.
I was SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO HER, but alas I was preoccupied...see I have 2 kids, and one is 3...and she is VERY needy and clingy to begin with...but she has a HORRIBLE cold as well as pink eye and while I was tending to her...the incident occurred. BELIEVE ME I was kicking myself for not being ON POINT when this all transpired, but it NEVER OCCURRED TO ME, that in the few minutes I was tending to a crying toddler (I was standing a few inches from my daughter, as she sat on the couch playing) something THIS HORRID WOULD OCCUR.
Obviously I have told her shes going to need to take a CT break, and let me think about whether or not its even appropriate for me to allow her to go back there...even with my supervising. I mean I just don't need or want this type of insanity creeping into my kids life through a game. Its sucha a shame but as I have explained to both my kids....sadly sometimes one bad apple can spoil the whole pie...and this is one of those times.

I thank everyone for their support, I'm sorry if anyone took this as me being "Nasty" (someone reported me on this thread..*shrug*) or that I don't supervise my child...but my intentions were nothing more then vent about it and get some friendly support on the matter...there was ZERO malicious intent behind this thread, nor was I presenting myself as some neglectful mother who doesn't pay attention to what my child is doing online....again Thanks for allowing me to vent and I apologize if I offended anyone (which I apparently did some how due to the reports)

- - - Post Merge - - -

Sepia said:

I visit the islands quite a lot since I do enjoy talking to random people and have met some awesome people through it. I'm at the age though where I'm older than everyone else and wont let myself be affected by any of their crap. Unfortunately I have encountered a LOT of *******s while playing and not even rarely. I get them pretty often! I've had guys come up to me with sexual remarks, I've seen a guy and a girl hit on each other and then trade personal information like phone numbers. I've seen a hell of a lot of bullying, beggers etc. I called out a guy on his bs when he was harassing other users. He basically admitted not having any interest in the game whatsoever, just enjoyed annoying kids which is pretty messed up. Unfortunately from my experience it's the younger people that get most affected. Often you'll get younger kids who talk like younger kids and they'll act like kids and the other people on the island are older and will target them for well... being a kid??? So I fully agree with what everyone else is saying, don't let her play until she's old enough or supervise her while she's playing. Club Tortimer has one of the worst communities I've ever seen.

Click to expand...

It really upsets me that CT has become a haven for this crap. I mean I LOVE touring with others and I too have met a *few*
great people in between all the skeeves and obnoxious creeps....
my daughter just enjoys the tours and doing them with other people..she likes the connecting you can have with someone m and be friends. I too have limited my CT trips and mostly go to my own lil island to fish,bug catch and the like...I just find it it so infuriating that the CT has become over run with the negative...it COULD be so much fun...yknow?

OoMayorSummeroO said:

I do supervise.. ALL THE TIME. We have had our fair share of negative experiences on CT, with the likes of bell beggars and obnoxious kids just being annoying but YES this was THE WORST experience weve had there EVER.
I DO NOT permit my child to do ANYTHING ONLINE without myself or my husband present...for instance she likes to play ROBLOX on our xbox1 and she likes Mario kart 8 online...and we play WITH HER...she NEVER plays it alone...and if I'm being honest...she doesn't seem to WANT to play it alone..for the very reason of you never know who is behind the screen. In this day in age you HAVE to educate your children at a young age about the dangers on the internet and online any/everything...and we have.
I was SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO HER, but alas I was preoccupied...see I have 2 kids, and one is 3...and she is VERY needy and clingy to begin with...but she has a HORRIBLE cold as well as pink eye and while I was tending to her...the incident occurred. BELIEVE ME I was kicking myself for not being ON POINT when this all transpired, but it NEVER OCCURRED TO ME, that in the few minutes I was tending to a crying toddler (I was standing a few inches from my daughter, as she sat on the couch playing) something THIS HORRID WOULD OCCUR.
Obviously I have told her shes going to need to take a CT break, and let me think about whether or not its even appropriate for me to allow her to go back there...even with my supervising. I mean I just don't need or want this type of insanity creeping into my kids life through a game. Its sucha a shame but as I have explained to both my kids....sadly sometimes one bad apple can spoil the whole pie...and this is one of those times.

I thank everyone for their support, I'm sorry if anyone took this as me being "Nasty" (someone reported me on this thread..*shrug*) or that I don't supervise my child...but my intentions were nothing more then vent about it and get some friendly support on the matter...there was ZERO malicious intent behind this thread, nor was I presenting myself as some neglectful mother who doesn't pay attention to what my child is doing online....again Thanks for allowing me to vent and I apologize if I offended anyone (which I apparently did some how due to the reports)

Click to expand...

Okay, thanks for clarifying. It seems like there was a misunderstanding, I'm sure we're all sorry for the confusion. I knew you were nearby for at least some of the time as you outlined how the bell-begging thing happened. I think it just read as though she (or you) was somewhere else after that, as she came up to you very upset (understandably!) and in context it seemed like that might be what happens often (as you outlined several issues). I wasn't sure, and should have offered my advice differently, rather than implying that you routinely left her to play on CT without supervision.

I didn't think you were a bad or negligent parent from reading your OP, and I apologise profusely that my (overly long) comment did not make that more clear.

This is why I never go to the regional/international island. Never fails, I always come across a bell beggar.
I'd rather stay on my own island and mind my own business.

- - - Post Merge - - -

Sepia said:

I'm at the age though where I'm older than everyone else and wont let myself be affected by any of their crap..

Click to expand...

Same. When people ask me how old I am I say 17 cause that's really how old I am.

They say they're 15 or whatever but I kinda think they're lying to me...