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Dirty Secrets Thread. Come confess here!

i like one of my friends but i'm moving and i'll never get to tell them lul!!!
 
-I secretly like arguing with people.
-I had a crush on my ex-best friend.
-Too weird


I H A V E S I N N E D
 
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It's no secret the best thing about a secret is secretly telling someone your secret, thereby placing another secret in their secret collection of secrets. Secretly.
 
- One of my old best friends told me to kill myself once. We're not friends anymore but that was really awful. :') I'm glad I convinced myself otherwise.

- I once had a crush on one of my old school best friends, + he liked me back (it was really obvious, but we were awkward shy angsty teenagers). We've never dated, and never will, but we still flirt with each other a lot considering we're just "friends", we talk like we're a married couple sometimes LMAO, but it's all banter. I don't think I could ever see him as anything more than a friend anyway.

- I had my first kiss at the age of 18. :'D
 
i dont believe i will ever get better and i guess the ppl who treat me kinda know but idk i dont think they understand how sure i am of it. ive been like this for so long and tried so many thing and nothing ever helps but if i tell people that they say "i know it feels that way but everything can and will get better" like i get qhy they have to say it but no???

also im scared thati will live long enough to get out of this system. im scared nothing will change and i will just keep going until things cant get any worse and until doctors and mental health people wont do anything about me.

less emo confession lol i read my sister's diary once when we were seven sorry )):
 
I am slightly sadistic when it comes to my favorite fictional characters. I love the drama that comes when a character dies.
 
I once again am not gonna read Jacob's little prayer

Anyways
- When I was 15 or 16 or so I lied to my psychologist to get off my meds.
- I'm guilty of inflicting my own issues onto my characters to cope.
- I've hid quite a few injuries from my mom oops.
 
I'm a total, weak, piece of crap. I'm guilty of being passive aggressive towards a good friend of mine who I was deeply in love with for years, because he didn't have any feelings for me at all and I handled the rejection awfully. Like, we're still friends, and I don't treat him poorly. But sometimes when we're all just messing around and being dorks I will randomly insult him or tell him to shut up. He's aware that I'm kidding, but it's still awful. I'm an awful person :lemon:
 
- I create a fake facade so people will leave me alone/ dislike me.
- I used to be very manipulative.
- I don't like my uncomfortable feeling towards relationships and how I'll never be in one because of it, it makes me even more depressed than I already am.
- I've almost died 4 times.
- I've always wanted to be a psychotherapist next to being an Author.
 
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My secret is I still can't get over a girl my boyfriend saw behind my back and I think about it all the stupid time and literally her name can send me into panic attacks so anytime I see someone with the stupid name Rachel I instantaneously think they're a horrible human despite doing nothing wrong but sadly sharing their namesake with her. Now I'm extremely self conscious about myself because of her. I haven't told literally anyone except my boyfriend. I feel lonely sometimes.
 
My secret is I still can't get over a girl my boyfriend saw behind my back and I think about it all the stupid time and literally her name can send me into panic attacks so anytime I see someone with the stupid name Rachel I instantaneously think they're a horrible human despite doing nothing wrong but sadly sharing their namesake with her. Now I'm extremely self conscious about myself because of her. I haven't told literally anyone except my boyfriend. I feel lonely sometimes.

I'm literally the same way with the name Brooke. The first year of my ongoing relationship with my then-boyfriend, now-fiance, his ex wouldn't leave him alone. Then there was a weird situation and I thought he cheated on me, but he didn't. But either way, every time I see that name, I get so angry and insecure even though I shouldn't be. I'm learning to get over it though. Slowly but surely. It sure is pretty damn hard though.

I still think about self-harming when there's a time in my life that's super stressful and it's almost to the point where I can't cope. I've been around 2 years clean, but old habits die hard when it comes to coping mechanisms like that.
 
I once snuck up before Christmas morning and opened my presents. Power Master Optimus Prime was worth it. 10/10 Would do it again.
 
My secret is I still can't get over a girl my boyfriend saw behind my back and I think about it all the stupid time and literally her name can send me into panic attacks so anytime I see someone with the stupid name Rachel I instantaneously think they're a horrible human despite doing nothing wrong but sadly sharing their namesake with her. Now I'm extremely self conscious about myself because of her. I haven't told literally anyone except my boyfriend. I feel lonely sometimes.

Haha hello. Sorry I keep bumping into you. I just could not help but notice that name. Have you ever heard of how some names share similar personalities? Every person with that name X I ever knew was very prissy, manipulative and selfish. (I am very sorry if anyone named that is reading this, I doubt it is true for everyone) I notice similarities with certain names and I get uneasy if I meet anyone with a name I consider having negative traits.
-
Anyways, I do best not to hold regrets of choices or decisions. Here are a few:

- I have gender dysphoria so bad that I constantly dream of cutting off the part of my body that I hate the most. I don't want to hurt myself nor am I suicidal, I just would feel so at peace if it were not there anymore.

-I draw certain type of art (I don't know if I'm even allowed mention what it is on here) that I've received death threats over numerous occasions. I refuse to back down or tone down my drawings, because I believe in freedom of artistic expression no matter what the subject is.

-I sometimes go into my sister's house and steal small pieces of change to go buy candy.
 
I have a crush on a fictional character... Noodle

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if you got something to say to me, better say it to me instead of talking behind my back...


*****.
 
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I intentionally threw an overwatch game today huehue

- - - Post Merge - - -

Btw when I say throw I mean make my team intentionally lose lol

- - - Post Merge - - -

Btw when I say throw I mean make my team intentionally lose lol
 
I distance myself to see if people make an effort to get close, but they never do.
 
I actually like Emboar

latest
 
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I distance myself to see if people make an effort to get close, but they never do.

I've done this before as well, and in the end, they don't actually contact me to see if I'm alive or anything. They just send memes or talk about themselves. It probably sounds awful to others, but I've had many issues with "friends" in the past, and this is something I feel i need to do sometimes.
 
Sooooo, I went through 6 months of treatment for an eating disorder that I've had basically my whole life (and still have to an extent). I feel like I am lying to people by omitting the fact that I have it, but at the same time am scared that people will tell me that I don't 'look' like I have one or assume which one I have. Even w/o mentioning it people comment on my (lack of) food intake and the choices I make and even though it hurts me, I don't want to make them embarrassed for saying those stupid things by telling them the truth. I don't know if it's something anyone can relate with.. it's eating at me though (no pun intended lol).
Feel free to reply, it won't make me uncomfortable
 
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