My life has gone crazy.

I felt I had to post about this. it was so crazy, I need to share it with someone.

I've had strong feelings towards a certain girl, a childhood friend of mine, for a few years now. the other night, she called me at 2:30 AM. I had a feeling something was going on, so I ran outside, forgetting to even put on shoes or a coat before I left. snow is coming down hard and I'm freezing. I was talking to her on the phone and she was having a complete meltdown. This wasn't the first time I had seen her like this, but it was the first time I wasn't able to hug her and comfort her. I tried to calm her down, and she starts talking about how much I meant to her. and then I told her what she meant to me.

She responded with a surprising brutality. about how we could never be together, how she could never love me... How she would die for me as a brother, but that my feelings were ridiculous and that I should know better... I hung up so she wouldn't hear me crying. I sat on the pavement, covered in snow at this point, to see that my cousin had brought me a coat and shoes. he said he had heard the ringtone go off and saw me leaving, and that I didn't have to explain myself. he only asked that I don't freeze to death, which I admittedly almost did. I caught a bad cold after this incident.

So after being crushed like this, a few days later, I'm looking at my online english course. It's a small class, and while the girl had dropped out last year, her sister still does work with me. I look at the assignment for Friday and I see this;

"Next week we will be reading The Great Gatsby. Split into groups of two as assigned by the syllabus and discuss unreciprocated love. debate if this one-way love is actually love and post your findings together. This assignment is meant to invoke deep discussion, so feel free to draw on past experiences."

I look at my partner for the assignment, and, you guessed it, it's her sister. Days after being rejected, my school is going to make me talk about it with her sister. to make it even better, her sister was actually my childhood crush. my entire life is a poorly written anime at this point. I don't even know what to think about all of this.

First of all, wouldn't this be better as a blog post, second I don't really care, third no one is going to 'make' you talk about your hilarious rejection, fourth man up and work on the damn project.

f11 said:

First of all, wouldn't this be better as a blog post, second I don't really care, third no one is going to 'make' you talk about your hilarious rejection, fourth man up and work on the damn project.

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well that's not very nice. I just wanted to post about it, you don't have to be mean. I forgot that the blogs section existed, if a mod wants to delete this I'd be willing to post it as a blog.

f11 said:

First of all, wouldn't this be better as a blog post, second I don't really care, third no one is going to 'make' you talk about your hilarious rejection, fourth man up and work on the damn project.

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quicc and swift to the point good post

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boi u should be glad she would die for you as a brother that's so nice ??? she wasn't even mean or brutal lmfao stop feeling entitled to girls

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also there are a million ways you could answer that prompt without using your own experiences

I knew I shouldn't have brought it up. it just makes me look like a terrible person. please lock or (preferrably) delete this topic.

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badgrl2 said:

she wasn't even mean or brutal lmfao stop feeling entitled to girls

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you have no clue what she said, so please don't pretend like you do. Of course I'm entitled to girls, I'm a guy so I must hate and abuse and feel like I need to possess women, duh! (sarcasm, in case you aren't smart enough to figure it all out). Don't you think all of that is just a tiny bit presumptuous of you?

no I've seen your threads in the past and you've said gross things before lol.

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and don't say people can change because this thread just gives off the same vibes as your old ones do

badgrl2 said:

no I've seen your threads in the past and you've said gross things before lol.

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and don't say people can change because this thread just gives off the same vibes as your old ones do

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I don't understand this one at all. can you please explain?

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If I could think of any previous threads where I said anything terrible, then your reaction would be understandable.

wow get over it lmao does she have a cousin you can date instead

I'm pretty sure that my post has given off the wrong vibes to a lot of people. let me elaborate further.

I don't hate her for what she did, or even blame her for it. we still talk, and I think it's allowed us to become closer as friends. However, at the time, I wasn't in the best state of mind, and she replied with such bluntness that it very deeply upset me. I understand and respect that she doesn't think of me like that.

I actually posted this not to talk about all of that (because it's all behind me) but to talk about the craziness of this assignment coming up right at that moment.

as for my "past posts..."

I have very opinionated views on life, which I used to share pretty bluntly. however, I realized that people took to my views negatively, so I stopped talking about them altogether. I'm sure they look terrible and wrong to you, but that's how I take some of your views as well. I just don't argue about them and try to show a little respect to your opinion.

Did you really think that telling her how much you love her in that way was a good idea while she was basically having a mental breakdown?? She's already feeling under pressure and you just put more on her? That's not cool dude

Crazy said:

Did you really think that telling her how much you love her in that way was a good idea while she was basically having a mental breakdown?? She's already feeling under pressure and you just put more on her? That's not cool dude

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This I can agree with. it was terrible of me and I'm still apologizing about it. I didn't even think clearly before I did what I did, and I made her life harder. not like I haven't been doing that to her for nine years already

Aronthaer said:

This I can agree with. it was terrible of me and I'm still apologizing about it. I didn't even think clearly before I did what I did, and I made her life harder. not like I haven't been doing that to her for nine years already

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you've been harassing her for 9 years? what the ****

Esphas said:

you've been harassing her for 9 years? what the ****

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no. I started developing feelings for her about a year ago. that's just how long I've been friends with her. and our friendship has brought many bad things with it.

Aronthaer said:

no. I started developing feelings for her about a year ago. that's just how long I've been friends with her. and our friendship has brought many bad things with it.

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ya but you've been "doing this to her" so like what exactly have you been doing? it's so selfish if you keep hurting her just for your own sake lmao. leave her alone

I just have one question: why do you care? I made a bad decision and paid dearly for it. It was wrong of me and I've apologized several times. It wasn't the purpose of this post to bring this up, but I needed context to talk about what I wanted to say. I've asked for the post to be deleted and have admitted that I did something wrong. so why do you care enough to keep prying?

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Esphas said:

ya but you've been "doing this to her" so like what exactly have you been doing? it's so selfish if you keep hurting her just for your own sake lmao. leave her alone

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I wanted to. I've told her numerous times that I just needed to up and get out of her life because I'd just end up hurting her. but it upset her to hear me talk like that, and she kept begging me to talk to her. I didn't want to hurt her when all this came out, but my solution to this actually made things worse.

Aronthaer said:

I just have one question: why do you care? I made a bad decision and paid dearly for it. It was wrong of me and I've apologized several times. It wasn't the purpose of this post to bring this up, but I needed context to talk about what I wanted to say. I've asked for the post to be deleted and have admitted that I did something wrong. so why do you care enough to keep prying?

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if you don't want it discussed don't bring it up hon. you clearly just wanted people saying 'poor you'. i doubt you're actually sorry at all

Aronthaer said:

I just have one question: why do you care? I made a bad decision and paid dearly for it. It was wrong of me and I've apologized several times. It wasn't the purpose of this post to bring this up, but I needed to talk about what I wanted to say. I've asked for the post to be deleted and have admitted that I did something wrong. so why do you care enough to keep prying?

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I'm going to be completely impartial here and not take sides, but as advice, I would like to tell you that if you post personal info like this, there will always be people who will feel a certain way and question you. You should have expected it. Now if you don't want to continue hearing people's criticism, I suggest just closing the thread yourself.

In addition to what Arize said, you even said you knew you made a mistake, so why are you surprised that people pointed it out, and then why get seemingly annoyed when people did?

Esphas said:

if you don't want it discussed don't bring it up hon. you clearly just wanted people saying 'poor you'. i doubt you're actually sorry at all

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alright, I reported my post a while ago and asked for deletion because I realized that's exactly what this looks like. I promise, that was not my intention.

I just have one quick question to ask: you liked the post of the person who said that I've said terrible things in the past. since they didn't answer me, I just wanted to know: what did I say? I can't get better if I don't know what to fix.

Aronthaer said:

alright, I reported my post a while ago and asked for deletion because I realized that's exactly what this looks like. I promise, that was not my intention.

I just have one quick question to ask: you liked the post of the person who said that I've said terrible things in the past. since they didn't answer me, I just wanted to know: what did I say? I can't get better if I don't know what to fix.

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I didn't like that post? And idk who you even are tbh