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How do you deal with having no friends?

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Haha, so, I don't really have no friends, but I feel like I do. I've never been one to have many friends, but because of where I am in life right now the number has really been reduced, and my besties who I have managed to hold on to have been very distant lately. I hardly get to see them or speak to them any more, even though I really really want to. Sometimes I feel like they aren't my friends at all.

That being said, I'm not alone. I have my family and my boyfriend, and I chat with my co-workers. But I feel. . . well. . . lame, unlikable, and boring because my friends don't talk to me, and I don't make friends easily. I know eventually I will make new friends, some who will stick and some who won't, but in the mean time. . . well, my mother offered to pay for me and some friends to go out to an escape room for my birthday, and that was a whole year and a half ago, and I still haven't gone because I have no one to go with me. Yeah, I feel really lame.

I'm sure I'm not the only one on here who doesn't have any friends, many friends, or who has friends that just aren't there for them. How do you feel? How do you deal with it emotionally?
 
This is tough. Because I've had so many issues with friends over the past 4 years or so, and I didn't handle it well.
Back in highschool, I had many people I considered all friends. And then, in my senior year, my best friend since 8th Grade basically outed herself to stealing from me. She didn't come forward and admit it, rather, she stopped being careful about it and I saw the things she was stealing from me. And like an idiot, I let her get away with it, twice I think. Finally, the third time kind of made me snap. She GAVE ME SOME OF THE STOLEN ITEMS BACK AS CHRISTMAS PRESENTS. She gave me back some of the less expensive and meaningful things she had stolen, as my Christmas presents that year. I'm not one for confrontation, and I'm a bit of a coward at times, so I just cut all ties with her. Distanced myself. I did SO MUCH for her over the years. I believe I was always there for her, and tried to be the person she could always count on, but that was a mistake. After that I realized that it's hard to trust anyone, and that most people were not friends. So, I only spent my time with 3 people after that. They ended up being my best and only friends for the past 3 years or so, even though I've known them longer. We got really close in the past 3. Then one of my 3 friends started blabbing about how he was using all of us. And honestly, it made sense. He has no reason to lie about using us, especially if it would have consequences. So, he was never really my friend either. Out of the two friends I have left, I don't interact much with the one. I try to, but everything we do together feels strained. While I still consider him a friend, I really only do anything with my one friend and current best friend. Up until now, she's never done anything wrong to me. SO, I feel I can trust her. Maybe she really is good, and she really is my friend, maybe I'm just desperate to find a decent person who isn't only looking to use me. During the time that this was all happening, I was already emotionally unstable in a few ways. I've done MANY dumb things, and still do on occasion. I'm getting better, much better, but I don't know if it'll stay that way. I feel like I go through random phases that don't always have to be triggered by something.

I really don't have many friends. I have 1 best friend, and 1 other friend that I see sometimes, or we might share funny pics with each other, but we rarely have actual conversation. I really like the people here very much, but I don't talk to anyone in particular for long periods of time because I don't wanna spend all of my time on the internet. I prefer to actually go out or do things with the people I like. I'm hoping I may make friends at college this semester. But anyways... Sometimes even with the people I love being around, I get this awful lonely feeling. Like I'm constantly excluded. And I don't really understand it because I'm not always excluded, but I have noticed that when my two friend get together, they seem to interact more with each other than with me. That is certainly depressing at times.

I hate when I ramble, but at least I'll make some bells from this.

tldr; I feel lonely very often for no reason, I only have 2 friends, I don't get to go out much, and I didn't handle my crappy feelings well. You are not alone there, lol.

- - - Post Merge - - -

I forgot to mention that I am living with my family, however we don't get along well. Any of us. It's usually fighting and yelling or ignoring each other.
 
I dont have any advice for you because I am the same way. I talk to people well but I feel like I dont create good bonds with them. I have plenty of acquaintances but not anyone who I created a good bond with and I'm not sure why it is so hard? I had best friends growing up but ever since I've been at college, I cant seem to keep in contact with anyone or feel the want to do so. I have a great connection with my bf and my siblings but why not with friends? I dont get it. Not sure if it's a lack of effort on my part, maybe I'm just so different from everyone else? Not sure if I'm just meeting the wrong people? I dunno.

Just letting you know that you arent alone with how you're feeling. I thought that the best advice was to force yourself to talk to people but I think that the bond either happens or it doesnt. No forcing can help.
 
@ Petey Piranha

Yikes, that sounds rough. I'm sorry for your situation. Feeling lonely is one thing, but feeling betrayed by your friends like that sounds even worse. I hope that you hang on to your two friends, and maybe you will grow back together and things will feel like they used to. I am hoping that will happen with my friends and I as well. When we are together we have fun, but for some reason they hardly ever want to hang out. Oh well. Hang in there, and try not to let your negatives experiences stop you from making new friends at college!
 
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@ Petey Piranha

Yikes, that sounds rough. I'm sorry for your situation. Feeling lonely is one thing, but feeling betrayed by your friends like that sounds even worse. I hope that you hang on to your two friends, and maybe you will grow back together and things will feel like they used to. I am hoping that will happen with my friends and I as well. When we are together we have fun, but for some reason they hardly ever want to hang out. Oh well. Hang in there, and try not to let your negatives experiences stop you from making new friends at college!

I'm trying, lol. I wish you the best of luck too. I suggest just trying to hang out with people more. Maybe there isn't much of a cure for loneliness like there is for actually being alone, my methods of coping weren't good at all, and I often felt worse about it. I'm pushing myself to see my friends more, and there is honestly a difference. I hope things get better for you. I wouldn't feel too awesome knowing someone felt the way I did.
 
My only friends are my family. I guess I don't want any friends. It's not that I don't like certain people, it's just that I don't want to talk to or hang out with them. I just want to be with my family. I don't make friends easily anyway. Growing up, I always just had one good friend.
 
It's fine not to have any friends, honestly. It's better to have real friends than friends you get just for the sake of being able to say you have friends.

Friendships are a very natural process, at least in my experience. If you're not willing to talk to them about anything in the world by the first hour, it's not real. All of my friends I could talk to about absolutely anything. I don't have to put on any sort of mask or hold back. I can only imagine how awful it would be to have to pretend to yourself like that.
 
I lost my best friend, and I have friends, but we're not like close. I'm really glad to have my brother and my cousins <3 They make me so happy.
 
I can't say on a forum like this on how I deal with no friends.
 
I was one of those people who took the "best friends forever" motto, literally and seriously. But things don't work out that way really unless both sides want to put in the effort too which is a very rare thing to have. I've learned that you go down a path, you find people among the few, you become friends with, you have their company wether good or bad or both. Sometimes you've been with them so long, you nearly forget the feeling of walking alone, and you feel like they will be with you on your path forever. And once they leave for whichever reasons it being, you feel alone and a little anxious on why your alone and if there is something wrong with being alone, until you come across another friend.

I think being alone for a period of time without anyone is part of the process of making new friends. Because I'm pretty sure if your future friend, maybe even someone that you had a possibility of getting along better would come along while your still friends with your old ones, there's a chance the two of you might not be friends due to the attention you pay to your old friends out of attachment.

I think everyone in general goes through this process of being alone. I'm sure there are people who probably never had a period of being alone, but its probably the ones who put alot of effort in making sure they aren't alone.

How I cope with having no friends? I look at the benefits of having no friends. I think of the bad things that come with having friends. Drama/Attitude/Fighting/Arguments/Competitiveness but it all really depends on what kind of click you typically find yourself in. People tend to look other who have no friends as sad and lonely and pathetic, but we usually just go around social media watching problems and drama unravel in friend groups that are supposedly the soulmates with popcorn in our hands, shaking our heads.

I think having times where your alone is as healthy as having times with friends. There are benefits to having friends like there are benefits to being alone, and same with cons. So think about what is something you enjoy about being alone, having plenty of time to yourself doing anything that you want to do. And enjoy it while you can because if you really do want friends, and if you put in even a little effort, then one will come along some day.
 
I honestly don't have any advice. I'm suffering the same.

Hmm. At my age, it's extremely hard to find friends now. Since other people have established their group of friends.
I thought I had friends from middle school to high school. I consider them all my friends and I care for all very much. However, it's not the other way around. I didn't realize it until my senior year of high school. I've been excluded a lot of hangouts among "friends". I lost touch a lot of people, and it makes me sad. So I try lying myself that I was happy, but then I totally lost it during the end of senior year. Then I go into a deep depression and keeping thinking myself if I am not good enough to anyone. It took around 2-3 years to finally to get over it. Still suffering from here to there.

I tempted to make friends during first year of university, but it end up having unnecessary drama that my petty "friends" created for no apparent reason. I don't know why, it's just a waste of time. So I end up leaving that group of friends. Plus i was getting irritated, that they don't have common sense (lol woops).

How I am dealing it now, is just focusing on myself for my well being. lol I find it sad, that animal crossing villagers are my only friends atm. :,) lol. To get my distracted, I just go to a random group chat and try to talk to people like on Gaia or something. I just need some attention like just talking to someone to keep me out being insane. lol. Maybe I am not a people person anymore. idk.
 
My best friend is my boyfriend, and most of the time he is pretty much my only friend. My few friends I have left are very distant, one of my friends I love to death but she has a kid and our work hours are skewed so for us to do anything usually requires I take a day off or give up sleep, which really isn't worth it and on top of that she feels awkward coming over when my boyfriend is here... which she swears up and down she doesn't have a problem with but whatever.

My other friend moved to Tennesee, she's my best friend, and we now only get to talk online, so she's basically become an online friend, she's kind of stuck there too because she doesn't have an ID to come back and can't come here to get an ID without getting here which takes an ID... so I don't know how long it will be before I can spend time with her IRL again. =[

My other friend is SUPER exhausting to hang out with, like she has severe ADHD and like I love having her as a friend but I can't spend much time with her, which sucks because when she comes over it's hard to get her to leave and with my social anxiety I can't make myself be like "OK now leave." so it's kind of painful to have her over... we talk every once in a while and she'll come and bother me at work sometimes which is ok.

All of my other friends have been boiled down to occasionally posting stuff to each other's timelines kind of friends and liking each other statuses. I move out of my hometown and for a while I tried to go and visit but none of my friends were putting effort in the other way so they slowly just vanished and are now just awkward facebook friends with me... :/ It kind of sucks but that's what happens I guess.

The only other friends I have are online friends and that's kind of how I get by, I'm not a hugely social person and work pretty much covers the "social" quota I can handle so I really don't mind, I mean sure I wish I had more friends or at least that I could go out and do stuff with the few friends I do have but with my hours it's pretty much impossible. So I just have to live with it.
 
My best bud is a snek named el coche, besides that I don't have any real friends in school besides my boy Robbie, he watches anime with me, and plays animal crossing with me.
 
I've never had many friends, but as an introvert I find dealing with people exhausting. You have to be worth it to be worth dealing with the exhaustion. That's how I see it. The more friends you have, the more you have someone or another wanting to hang out and do stuff and... argh. Don't want to deal with that.
 
Having kids taught me how to ignore the fact that I have no friends lmao.

Pretty much what has helped is:
having my boyfriend around.
looking at random things online, or instagram.
animal crossing
playing games in general.

I've always been a hermit crab, but I had a couple of friends.
Now I have like 2. lol It's all good.
 
i have friends but i dont need many, i spend a lot of time alone and hey it works for me, having few/no friends doesnt bother me, thats why i have a dog
 
I really don't, just whine at my fiance about it lol
 
Please don't feel it as a reflection of yourself~ I'm not sure how old you are, but I struggle with this as well, but as I've gotten older it feels easier to deal with. I made a decision a few years ago to stop actively contacting people I thought were my friends, and 1 person has tried to contact me since then. It hurt at first, but now I'm more at peace with it.

It's difficult to make friends as we get older as well, so that compounds the issue. I can say I have a sort of/kind of real life friend, but most people I talk to are people I've met here. I am also single again after a long-term relationship, so I lost a "friend" in that respect as well. I don't know that this is even helpful, but just don't feel unlikable! And if you ever want to talk about it, my inbox is always open. It isn't fun all of the time, but you will be ok with it as time goes on, and new people may come into your life at any point too. Just remember that c:
 
Don't stress tbh. As you get older being friends will revolve around having kid play dates and Mary Kay parties. Dunno about you but that sounds terrible.
 
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