How do you deal with having no friends?

Avocado LaSchaap said:
Haha, so, I don't really have no friends, but I feel like I do. I've never been one to have many friends, but because of where I am in life right now the number has really been reduced, and my besties who I have managed to hold on to have been very distant lately. I hardly get to see them or speak to them any more, even though I really really want to. Sometimes I feel like they aren't my friends at all.

That being said, I'm not alone. I have my family and my boyfriend, and I chat with my co-workers. But I feel. . . well. . . lame, unlikable, and boring because my friends don't talk to me, and I don't make friends easily. I know eventually I will make new friends, some who will stick and some who won't, but in the mean time. . . well, my mother offered to pay for me and some friends to go out to an escape room for my birthday, and that was a whole year and a half ago, and I still haven't gone because I have no one to go with me. Yeah, I feel really lame.

I'm sure I'm not the only one on here who doesn't have any friends, many friends, or who has friends that just aren't there for them. How do you feel? How do you deal with it emotionally?
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I relate to this a lot. It's like, I have friends, but I feel like they don't really like me sometimes and I often fear that I'm unlikable. They're also really bad at making plans so whenever I've tried to invite them over it usually doesn't span out lol. They're very spontaneous and like to do spur of the moment things, and I like to plan, so I do get a little frustrated sometimes. I didn't have many friends growing up and I was bullied a lot. I always wanted to have that perfect friend group where you all get along so well and nothing ever goes wrong and you get to do all sorts of fun things together--the kind of friends people have in those dumb Disney channel movies. But those aren't real. It took me a long time to come to that realization, but people are imperfect, and so is life. But that's okay! We're all just doing our best, and even though we often feel like there's something wrong with us, there usually isn't. I've expressed my concerns to my friends on multiple occasions and they've assured me that they do like me. I still get nervous sometimes but I think it goes to show that your friends most likely will feel the same towards you. People aren't perfect and the perfect friend/friend group may never exist, but you take what you can get. Just try and be there for them when they need you, and don't be afraid to try and make plans with them first every once in a while :)
 
keef_kogane said:
I have one best friend who lives three states away from me, and that's about it. I mean, I have my fiance (who I live with), but I've lost most of my friends due to anxiety and falling-outs. Honestly, to cope, I write or throw myself into games. It's super unhealthy, especially when I don't leave the house for months on end, but mental illnesses have that power.

I'd love to change, but it's that whole 'oh, if I make friends, they won't stick around anyway' mindset as well as anxiety that makes me hold back and basically cower in fear.
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Same. It sucks but if I could have changed it, I would have by now. Now my last friend was arrested for dastardly things. It sucks and it hurts to feel and be so alone. You see all these people with good friends and are happy. You just wonder why, why is it so hard for me to be happy? To make friends? Heck, why is it so hard to keep them. And eventually you take a sick comfort in the loneliness and the isolation. Tough to break. Here's to something better, hopefully soon.
 
I just try to enjoy everything. I prefer to take a positive and fun spin on everything I do, regardless of if I'm doing it alone. I can eat out by myself without feeling weird about it. You can be your own friend. There's nothing wrong with that.
 
Honestly I think friends are annoying and I don't like talking to people very much.
 
i would advise to strike up conversations and get to know them. it might seem hard, but you miss all the shots you don't take. the worst thing that could happen is they'll think you're quirky? if they don't like you, don't think too much about it, just move on to the next person who could be your friend. making friends isn't just them liking you though, it's a two way street. you have to try to be friends with them, and want to. if you curl yourself up into a small ball, no one will enter, because they can't.

try saying "hi, how was/is your day?" to someone, and kick up small talk. it's a good first step.
 
who needs a life when you have an internet connection and permanent existential dread
 
I used to have literally next to no friends. People would usually just tolerate my annoying presence.
What I used to do was read a book or get involved in a TV show and relate to the characters, and then they'd eventually feel like my real friends.
Oh, and Animal Crossing lol.
 
I have a lot of friends at school, but barely any that actually come home with me. I used to have tons though, and we'd text all day at home etc but this past year I lost almost all of them because they were just awful and I finally cut them off. I have 2 people I'd consider my best friends and they don't even really text me or anything so it's pretty lonely and I get really upset about it a lot, I try texting them first but it just makes me feel like I'm annoying them. I doubt they reciprocate the best friend label, but oh well. I deal with it by just doing my hobbies etc. Like as sad as it sounds, I practice flute and piano and saxophone etc way more than I do without friends than I did with friends. I just think about how I'm going to to university in a year and I'll make new friends I guess. Idk I guess I don't have a whole lot of good advice because I'm going through this as well! I honestly cry like once a week about my lack of friends and it's really sad not having anyone to text exciting things to. Like sometimes I see something cute or something happens to me and I just want to tell someone but I have nobody to tell it to :/.
 
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i also cry on the internet


T_T i have no friends pls be my friend, i have zero social skills and i am very borderline and unhinged and not in a good way and i cry a lot and ive bene used loads and i am technically a massive joke even to my family bUT i listen to a lot of music and i am alone 98% of the time so im like free 24/89 ya add m e ;-;
 
Same way I deal with most things; by sleeping! Honestly though, I'm lucky enough to be able to say that I've a decent amount of friends these days, but that definitely hasn't always been the case. As difficult as it was, I had to learn to enjoy my own company when I was relatively friendless and isolated a year or two ago. It may not have been the most fun time of my life, but I definitely came out of it a lot more content with myself as a person.
 
i read this thread title in the voice of my fathers
 
I honestly write fanfics and pretend that the characters are my friends.

...

I'm being 100% legit which is really sad. ;w;
 
well its not people dont wanna be friends with me its just i cant connect with them which is a big turn off for me. i think everyone has someone they wanna be friends with but can never really picture themselves with that person. but if the only reason we talk is because school is hard and we're both so done, thats not really a friend is it? i hate to call them acquaintances but they are. imo a friend is someone you can connect to and understand. thats probably why i have no friends but i do give people chances and nobody has ever stuck with me which sucks since i cant say i had childhood friends. how i cope though is just blocking the thought of it with video games and excercise which makes me sad but who cares if you dont think about it right
 
ha ha, who needs friends when you have plants?! *twitch* *twitch*
 
I feel that even sometimes people who i consider super close with aren't my best friends (as in chatting every day). I'm never myself to anyone, which blows.
 
Hmmmm not sure how to answer that. Lemme ask my friend Plank!
 
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