What's Bothering You?

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I started a new job this week. I was nervous all week and after my shift I would think and worry of the next day. I can't eat much right before or during work, and I don't feel like eating much because it doesn't feel that good. I'm off right now until I start again on Monday, so I'm enjoying my little break. Anyone have any tips for this? Last year I worked for a week and it did the same thing. So right now is kind of my first job in a way.
 
I'm sorry that I've failed you as a friend.

I know that I should've tried to talk to you more about what you were going through and tried to be more supportive in-person and emotionally. I didn't take you seriously earlier on, and this has only evolved in a huge mess. I wanted to be there for you, I wanted to talk through things, all I wanted to do then and now is help. But I gave up. I gave up pushing for answers because I'd get single word answers or no response at all. I gave up trying to understand it from your point of view since I couldn't get those answers and just simply couldn't understand. I've only realised recently how blunt, straight-to-the-point and emotionally inept I really am and I can't provide you with sympathy and attention because that just isn't me. I tried talking to you tonight once again, and I should've known better. You seem to be under the impression that I know nothing and should know nothing.
But I do know a fair bit of it. You seem to be under the impression that what you say to others goes no further than them, and who you put your trust into is the people who you've known a mere few months compared to your best friends who have known you for almost 7 years. I am hurt that I haven't been told anything, but I've realised I'm clearly not the person who can provide you with sympathy.

As much as I want to talk to you about things, I think this is the last straw. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe I'm the problem with trying to push for answers. But all I wanted to do is understand so I could try to support you.

~~~~

Right now, almost everyone I know is in some sort of bad state. And I just can't do anything about it. I want to try and help,
but I'm just not the right person to offer any sort of emotional support. I can't do anything to help.
 
Had way too fun last night and this morning and now idk when next time will be.. aaaa.

also wish i didn't sign up for this stupid lecture thing but eh...
 
**** hating myself so much for going on all these things next week when could have skipped two of them, i don't mind seeing my cousin since she's hella fun but that lecture yeah and that concert i don't know even
 
i should probably be put in a hospital or something bc this is not working out i cant exist properly and im just ruining everything for everyone but i'd do that if i were in a hospital too so idk :') i can kill myself but we all know that suicide is pointless and selfish and rude because it only pushes their pain onto other people haha lmao can someone shoot my ****ing head off at least then it wouldnt be my ****ing fault and no one would be able to call me selfish because being murdered isnt selfish it's just horrible but committing suicide or being hospitalized or bothering other people by being mentally ill is selfish haha hah ha yeah ok
 
I pranked call this guy I know from school, and it went horribly wrong. I tried to text him a long, heartfelt, apology message, and in a nutshell, all he said was: "Of course I can forgive you. The prank call was kind of funny actually. I don't want to text you anymore and I'm blocking you".
 
my "friend" hates me and blocked me on everything because of my taste in men, wtf?
 
i should probably be put in a hospital or something bc this is not working out i cant exist properly and im just ruining everything for everyone but i'd do that if i were in a hospital too so idk :') i can kill myself but we all know that suicide is pointless and selfish and rude because it only pushes their pain onto other people haha lmao can someone shoot my ****ing head off at least then it wouldnt be my ****ing fault and no one would be able to call me selfish because being murdered isnt selfish it's just horrible but committing suicide or being hospitalized or bothering other people by being mentally ill is selfish haha hah ha yeah ok

I personally don't consider suicide selfish. I mean, you can only take so much bs before you're pushed to the edge. It's certainly relatable.
 
I can't find my moon version and now the manectricite is finally out
 
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