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What's Bothering You?

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So I have my physics and calculus exams today... I'm sure I am prepared, but I strangely feel unprepared for both.

Also, I didn't get to sleep until 2AM and then I woke up at 5AM. Knowing me, that's probably definitely not enough energy to work off of.

Maybe I can manage to take a short nap in between my exams? I don't know... I just pray to god I don't mess up on my calc exam and end up failing the class :,(
 
So I'm pretty sure I bombed on my calc exam... After about 8 problems and not knowing how to do half of the time, my mind started to go blank and I actually started forgetting basic stuff (like linearization formula and Riemann sums). Some of the answers I just said screw it and left them blank, and I would proceed to call myself an idiot.

So basically, I likely won't pass Calc I this semester. Which means they may not let me take physics II next semester. Which means I'll probably have to end up staying at this university longer because I'm behind everyone else.
It could also mean that they will take away my scholarship because my GPA drops too low because I suck at calc and I don't deserve that money if I'm not good enough...

See, this is my thought process. I already have really bad anxiety, and falling behind in these classes is not helping at all. It's only gonna make me stress even more. As a matter of fact, while taking the exam I kept thinking "oh no I feel like i'm gonna pass out"
and "if I bomb this I'm gonna have a heart attack". I really don't want to feel those things because of schoolwork... ever.
 
me: let's stay at home and relax today because i've done a lot this week and weekend will be busy

me 10 hours later: wtf i still feel tired af...
 
my uncle who has mental illness threatened to kill himself earlier and then didn't respond to anyone for hours. he's fine so im relieved about that but now im all stressed out. he was the only person from my dad's side of the family who wasn't awful and selfish and terrible to us when my dad died, and i can't handle another death. i just hope he gets the help he needs, i can't keep trying to talk him off the ledge. plus im getting sick and i have to get up early tomorrow. :(
 
My professor didnt give out the final grade yet what the heck. I hope he isn't in trouble with the subject's department but damn do I wanna have closure for the past school sem.
 
God dammit I hate Anxiety and Depression at the same time.

And why must my Brain insist on thinking about this idiot who treats me like crap whenever I fix my emotional problems up and then make up with them?
 
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because brains(tm) suck sometimes :(

also ugh gotta shower and then figure out some goddamn lunch even tho im not hungry at all rn
 
also warmer than i thought rip now im gonna sweat :(

- - - Post Merge - - -

and ajit pai can go die too thanks
 
I hope the bookstore doesn't tell me my textbook was returned late and charge me a few or something :(

I mean I don't think it's late but who knows.
 
gah my internet is all screwed up and i have my laptop tethered rn to my phone but cant do that too much or will use up my data.

this site aint easy to use on a mobile phone... :mad:
 
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