I agree with other posters, his indecisive answers the I dunno etc are not good. I would make him nail down those answers better and if he can't then he would be gone..well in my book he'd be gone either way but thats just me.
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- Thread starter Sholee
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Ah darn.. Ignore my last post. Typical phones. Anyways. You cant baby sit him. That would just tear you down and it won't be love anymore. He either gotta choose you or the other girl. Be strong and we are here to support you <3
Is it a bad idea to confront the girl? I want to hear her side of the story... and compare the 2 stories to see if there is anything my bf is lying about or leaving out.
it seems that she hasnt told her bf about what happen seeing as they still seem as lovey dovey as ever on fb.
it seems that she hasnt told her bf about what happen seeing as they still seem as lovey dovey as ever on fb.
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Good, bad, or neutral, I would talk to her about it. I would be stewing over the situation until I did... that's just me, though.
Hm... there is always a risk for drama but still. When my ex boyfriend cheated on me, my friend who got flirthed by him told everything to me. And then I knew everything and at that point I left him. Better know the truth so.
lols you remind me of my friend. of course im glad that he didnt sleep with her or at least thats what he says. and honestly if it was some random girl that he kissed, it'd be a whole lot easier.
But its possible that he may have rekindled old feelings for his friend and it still doesnt change the fact that it shattered all the trust i had in him and i feel like that will be the hardest thing to repair if we are to stay together
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SpatialSilence
Senior Member
I would be really mad if this happened to me. If he is one bit indecisive about liking another girl, he doesn't truly love you. Love is liking one person and only wanting to be with that person. I think you should let him go, but that's just my opinion. He should get credit for being honest, but to say that it was 50/50 judgement would make him more than guilty. Being completely drunk is one thing but to have some control is wayyy different. And when you cheated it was much earlier so the love has grown. He did it not long ago so that makes him even more guilty. I feel really bad for you and I know how you feel somehow even though it has never happened to me. I hope things go well and you make a good decision. <3
He may really love you but he might just be confused. I would break it off for a while and see what direction he goes in. Make him fight for you back. He is the one that is guilty, not you.
He may really love you but he might just be confused. I would break it off for a while and see what direction he goes in. Make him fight for you back. He is the one that is guilty, not you.
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Princess Weeb
What's 1,000 minus 7?
Tell him, seriously.
If you're unsure as to whether he knows just as him how he is dealing with it to bring up the conversation. Either way the longer her boyfriend is left without knowing the worse he will feel after finding out.
i feel like thats not my business. She should be the one telling him, not me. i feel like if i tell her bf what happened, its just going to be even more drama.
Don't directly tell him.
Make a status update like "Can't believe my boyfriend cheated on my with that skank @*insert name*. He's so silly!"
Then he knows and you've not really done anything.
Then go all 80's action movie and look for revenge, with a brutal climax with an 82 person death count where you rip her boobs off. Remember to say something awesome when you do it like "say goodbye to your breast friends".
Lady Timpani
sway
Oh my god
Well, I feel like everyone's said everything I want to say, but I don't think you should let their opinions totally dictate what you would do in this situation. His lack of a response is definitely alarming, and I do think it's good that you guys decided to take a break. However, I don't think you should break up with him unless things get worse (like he decides he does still have feelings for her). I've never been in a relationship, but seven years is a whole lot of time, and if you guys were good before this one hiccup, I don't think it's worth throwing it away.
I wish you good luck in whatever you do.
Sorry about your situation. He probably just needs some space to figure out how he's feeling and what he wants. By what you said he sounds confused. It seems like you want to work things out and love him, so I guess just be patient with him? In the end he'll either miss you or not and I guess you guys can go from there...
That's just my opinion. I'm speaking from having been in a similar situation of cheating and being confused. In my case, I ended my 5 year relationship/being engaged because I realized even though I cared about that person and considered them my best friend, I did not truly love that person enough to put up with them and spend the rest of my life with them. I think a lot of times in any relationship when it gets to a point of there being a lot of pressure on a person or they feel constrained they just need some breathing room to figure out their situation and feelings.
I'm really sorry for your situation. It sucks. :/
That's just my opinion. I'm speaking from having been in a similar situation of cheating and being confused. In my case, I ended my 5 year relationship/being engaged because I realized even though I cared about that person and considered them my best friend, I did not truly love that person enough to put up with them and spend the rest of my life with them. I think a lot of times in any relationship when it gets to a point of there being a lot of pressure on a person or they feel constrained they just need some breathing room to figure out their situation and feelings.
I'm really sorry for your situation. It sucks. :/
Look, you've been together for seven years. That is a very long time. Couples are bound to make some mistakes in that length of period. He needs time to figure out what he really wants, and in the meantime, you have to prepare yourself for what his decision might be. I wouldn't go to him and demand answers. Not yet, at least. Give him a month or two to make his decision, and if he can't make one the next time you confront him, you're gonna have to be strong and make one for him.
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I haven't read this entire thread, but here's my two cents;
It wouldn't bother me that he kissed some girl. Everybody makes mistakes. What would bother me is the fact that he a) admitted that it wasn't just the alcohol that lead to this happening, and b) he responded to your other questions with "I don't know". I know he's probably confused, but I don't know is not a suitable answer if you want to have a totally honest conversation about this. When asked if he has feelings for her or if this was some sort of revenge bs, I would sure as hell want either a yes or no because if either of those things are the case, then that's the issue - not the fact that he kissed her. He needs to be more open about why it happened, even though I'm sure it's not the most comfortable thing to talk about. But if you want to get past it he's going to have to be honest and stop avoiding those questions.
Anyways I'm sorry this happened, I hope you guys can figure it out.
It wouldn't bother me that he kissed some girl. Everybody makes mistakes. What would bother me is the fact that he a) admitted that it wasn't just the alcohol that lead to this happening, and b) he responded to your other questions with "I don't know". I know he's probably confused, but I don't know is not a suitable answer if you want to have a totally honest conversation about this. When asked if he has feelings for her or if this was some sort of revenge bs, I would sure as hell want either a yes or no because if either of those things are the case, then that's the issue - not the fact that he kissed her. He needs to be more open about why it happened, even though I'm sure it's not the most comfortable thing to talk about. But if you want to get past it he's going to have to be honest and stop avoiding those questions.
Anyways I'm sorry this happened, I hope you guys can figure it out.
If "babysitting" is what I have to do to prevent some accident like this from happening, then I'll do it. I talk to them in a civil manner about alcohol and how I'm pretty uncomfortable with the idea of him going to a party without me and etc, they usually just understand and agree. I did allow him to go out and drink and there were some girls, mainly because he was sneaky about it and didn't tell me, and that always adds to my paranoia.
But honestly if you guys didn't even sleep together then you need to understand how it happened with you first. Doesn't make it right, but it's not like the world's going to end. Only seriously wrong thing are his answers. He sounds like he doesn't give a ****.
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