The out of context quotes thread

[Yoshi155]

The thing is, there’s not really anything wrong with The Itchy & Scratchy Show, it’s as good as ever. But after so many years, the characters just can’t have the same impact they once had.

That’s it. That’s it, little girl! You’ve saved Itchy & Scratchy!

Please sign these papers indicating that you did not save Itchy & Scratchy.

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Fugly, you made bail.”
“My parents! They’ve must have come back!”
*Helga runs out of the room happily and hugs the legs of a woman whose face is shown*
“Mommy!”
*Woman is revealed to be Mrs Hubbard and Helga gasps in horror*
“You bailed her out?”
“That’s right. I want to adopt her. I want to give her a nice home and raise her self esteem. *Places hand on Helga’s face and forced her to kneel* Lord! Cleanse this vile heathen of her wicked disgusting ways!”
“I really don’t like where this is going….”
*Mrs Hubbard starts singing Bringing Home the Sheaves and Bob joins in. Pickles is whispering to Milo*
“Let’s get out of here now!”

 

[QueenCobra]

"Sam, the first night at BED when you left, Ron made out with two girls and put his head inbetween a cocktail waitresses breasts. Also was grinding with multiple fat women. When you left crying at Klutch, Ron was holding hands and dancing with a female and took down her number. Multiple people in the house know, therefore you should know the truth. Use this information wisely.”

 

[Suguri]

Tip of the day: oranges and pinks did not make good guitars.

There's one more story of this tip, and there's only one more thing: blacks and whites make good drums!

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

*Barbie and Chelsea are playing with dolls*
“Denise now has yoga. You be the yoga instructor.”
“Okay.”
“Take his pants off.”
“Wait. What?”
*Cut to Barbie confused as Chelsea put Yoga instructor doll away*
“Okay, I’ve seen some crazy stuff back in the day but what the heck did you make those dolls do?!”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

*Suzanne steps through the kitchen door holding some plates and the door closes behind her*
“BOO!”
*Suzanne screams from behind the door and drops the plates she was holding and the sound of them breaking is heard*
“Consuela, you’ve got to stop doing that!”
“I scare you! I scare you! Hey get your dirty hands off me!”
“Hey! That’s my blouse!”
*Fighting is heard from behind the door as everyone else in the dining room feels awkward hearing the commotion*